Why are working moms considered neglectful?

Question

I've heard a lot of people on here say that working moms are neglectful of their kids and don't care about their kids. I'm just wondering how people can even say that? I'm not trying to make anyone mad, so please dont' think that, I just truly am wondering why! I mean, some moms (myself included) HAVE to work to help pay the bills (I have to work to help pay the bills and we don't have ANY xtras, just house {which is a small $58,000 house}, 1 car payment and basic utilities {gas, electric, water/sewer land phone - we do NOT have cell phones or cable or any of that extra crap). I really don't think that working moms are neglectful - they are just doing what they have to do. I swear, it seems like people on here think that we working moms go to work every day dressed in stillettos and suits and take our breaks in coctail lounges climbing that "corporate ladder" when most of us work at thankless $8 an hour jobs (like me) to make ends meet and get one 30 minute break a day! see below

Working moms don't go to work and sit and giggle with co-workers all day, in fact, most people talk very little to others at work and would rather not talk to the jerks they work with at ALL lol :) . Besides, not much chance to talk at work anyways. I just don't understand what the big deal is all about - most working moms feel guilty enough leaving their kids at a daycare as it is without other moms who are giving them a hard time about it. We love our kids so much and they are God's greatest gift! We're all on the same team! Some moms just have to work to make ends meet, plain and simple. What are your guy's thoughts on this? Thanks for your input too :)! Have a good day! :)

Answer 1

I think it is about moms choosing to work over raising their children. Not all moms that work have to. You need to work and are doing the best you can, you don't have choices, and I am proud of you that you are doing the best you can for your children and yourself.
Maybe it should be said more clearly:
Moms that CHOOSE to work rather than raising their children don't really care about them.
You see a lot a moms working for the wrong reasons: money (not really needed), to get out of the house, think their job means who they are, just because it is easier : (
Ask any child, quantity is better than quality time. This quality time stuff is an excuse.

You my dear, are doing a great job!!! : )
Your children will learn from you how and why you work. You are doing it to survive and they will survive also with a mom that loves them!

Answer 2

Your family sounds like it's doing just fine! Ignore anyone who says that you don't care, or that you're neglecting your kids :-) Which is more neglectful -- being homeless and starving so you can stay home with your kids, or working your butt off so they can have a better life? It would be great if we COULD afford to stay home, but only a tiny fraction of the population truly can.

It's possible to be a good mother in so many ways, even if you're not at home with them 100% -- and I'm sure that there are some "bad" moms who stay at home full-time. Any time you see somebody generalizing and saying "only this way of life is good for the family", they obviously don't understand that everybody has a different situation to cope with.

Answer 3

I don't think they are but of course I have worked since my kids all went to school and kept at it so they could have the things they needed, plus what the family needed.
You can spend quality time over quantity time with your kids and they will be fine. There are some work at home moms that have the same problems as we do....the working moms....
I never ask a woman if she is a stay at home mom, I ask does she work outside the home also......Her job is never ending and kudos for ones that can do that.
I love to work and work long hours, but raised 3 great kids and they didn't miss out on ballgames, being in band, playing sports, you name it......
Don't be so hard on yourself....and don't listen to what you think others may or may not say, just give an extra hug to your kids and go on

Answer 4

WE got to ignore what the society feels,says, reacts. The society wh. it is the americas or anywhere else is sometimes, mad, sometimes, sensible, and not always right.
As an administrator, of working mothers, in my office, and having seen witnessed their dual roles at their homes, in their families, I have a conviction to feel and write what I feel as below:

01. they do EXCELLENT work better than their male counterparts in the offices, and do not sit idle talk nonsense, as people at home believe as you yourself say.

02. they are sharp in listening, understanding, and reacting, and in judging. better than household non working mothers who have a life inside a well,and believe in myths , rumours, and wag their tongues without rationale, trusting all they hear, doing all actions that they can without discriminating.
there are exceptionsin home based mothers. their environment will give them Neurosis mostly, except when spouses and children move well together.
03. the working mothers take care of their children professionaly well and are not amateurish. and they spent little time and achieve results faster than the other type of mothers. There are some areas where they cannot pay attention and may aget labeled as NEGLECTING mothers, but that is ruled out. If you want money, you got tocompromise,
how much u compromise is diffierent from person to person, famlly to family country to country.

inshort these are myths and IGNORE and enjoy life with children and family.
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PSYCHOLOGY/LIFESTYLECHANGES MAGAZINE
D.PARAMESWARAN,AWAREDED POET
INDIA