his wants , big boy toys etc and doesn't consider what is good for the entire family. He still wants to be a kid himself. Can I possibly salvage this? Should I constantly be the one giving in because there is no changing this self centered man? Should I just move on?
2007-03-13 00:34:40 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
THE MONSTER HAS BEEN CREATED AND ALLOWED TO CONTINUE THE BEHAVIOUR. YOU WON'T CHANGE HIM AT THIS POINT AND HE WILL ALWAYS PUT HIMSELF BEFORE THE FAMILY NO MATTER WHAT.
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE THEN YOU CAN MOVE ON.
IF YOUR FAMILY IS LOSING OUT ON THINGS THEY SHOULD HAVE BECAUSE OF HIS SELFISHNESS THEN YOU NEED TO ACT.
IT IS A VERY DIFFICULT SITUATION BUT YOU HAVE TO MAKE A LIST OF PROS AND CONS AND BE REALISTIC.
ANYONE WHO CAN'T SEE PAST THEMSELVES THAT HAVE A FAMILY NEED TO GO PLAY IN SOMEONE ELSE'S YARD....
2007-03-13 00:40:15 · answer #1 · answered by doclakewrite 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, you shouldn't be the one giving all the time. Marriage is a partnership, give AND take. If he is more concerned with his wants, (not needs) and buying stuff to satisfy his inner boy, that is just wrong. I had a friend whose husband did this all the time. Would spend money on 4-wheelers, poker table, a boat, lap top, things like that, and never involved her. She would get yelled at for buying a new pair of shoes! He didn't let her play poker and he never took her to go 4-wheeling. It caused a great amount of trouble in their marriage because he was only concerned about his fun, and never included the family, not to mention the money he was spending!
If you talk to him and explain how you feel, and he ignores you and refuses to change, I would say it's time to move on. Maybe he doesn't realize he is acting like a child and leaving his family out!
2007-03-13 01:36:13 · answer #2 · answered by bina64davis 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't speak loud enough your husband will never hear you. You need to sit down and have a serious conversation about the effect and strain he is putting on your marraige. This is when you will threaten to leave him. If he does not respond in your favor, you will know he does not truly love you, and you should move on with your life. Or, possibly set up a yearly allowance in which your husband can only spend "x" amount of dollars a year on "big boy toys".
2007-03-13 00:41:45 · answer #3 · answered by Michael S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my advice would be to move on, I feel you have already tried to salvage this relationship, and it hasn't worked, obviously he is not going to change his childish ways, trust your instincts what are they telling you, but honestly I have a strong intuitive feeling that this isn't going to work out, he is to stuck in his self centered selfish ways, and he is just to stubborn and ignorant to reach any bit of compromise, so to give you some advice, I would get out of that relationship because he is not giving you the amount of respect and love that you deserve to have, I wish you good luck, and I hope you find peace of mind.
2007-03-13 00:59:05 · answer #4 · answered by michael r 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Of course, it all depends upon your attitude, which seems to be the problem. You need to get mature pretty fast, and make some changes. We can only change ourselves, not others. How about doing things with him that HE wants, playing with HIS toys, etc. and not be so centred upon yourself and your happiness. Marriage is WORK, girl.... try putting in a LOT more effort for the sake of everyone. Start with a HUGE attitude change towards being more positive, and even thinking about what you can do to make others happy.
2007-03-13 00:51:26 · answer #5 · answered by Lydia 7 · 2⤊ 2⤋
hey! don't listen to any of those craps people said,he's ur man and u have to be kind to him not to speak loudly like a (hoe) sorry for the word.man is a baby infront of his wife and if she knows well enough how to treat him kindly automatically he'll be like a robot guided by ur remote.here's my e-mail:mehdivoxlink@hotmail.com. add me to ur contacts i can tell ya more.
2007-03-13 02:16:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get a divorce and become part of the pathetic statistic of the US divorce rate. Haha, loser.
2007-03-13 01:56:27 · answer #7 · answered by Lothario 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont just move on. make him sit down and you two need to have a long discussion.
2007-03-13 00:38:16 · answer #8 · answered by John Redcorn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask him.. "do you love me?" and if he stays yes then tell him that he has to put more time into his famliy ...his real famliy and not his car or what ever.
2007-03-13 00:39:53 · answer #9 · answered by ♥lois c♥ ☺♥♥♥☺ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
point it out to him, if he doesn't care, tell him to hit the bricks.
2007-03-13 00:40:03 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋