Please help, feel am loosing my mind?

Question

was in a relationship with a man who was mentally cruel......he played with me not just me others too. He left a message on my answer phone a month ago accusing me of snooping his mail and sending mail to other women warning them. I was incenced and did not respond and have not responded at all. However it has been told to me that he is slagging me off saying I did and saying am nuts and worse. This is breaking my heart. I am in a no win situation he never gave me a chance had his mind convinced it was me from the onset. He is a messer but pretends he is a good guy and many of us fall for it. Any suggestions as to how I can get my sanity and self respect back....am truly lost at the moment so don't be harsh.....i know i have been a fool but he is taking the high moral tone in this......and it is killing me .

Answer 1

Ignore him!
If this doesn't work then report him to the police for stalking.
If you feel mentally unstable then seek for professional help.

Answer 2

This man is looking for a response or a rise... don't give in. You have to move on and show people that you have. People aren't daft and will see him for what he is.

If he is spreading these rumours and they are affecting you - you need to make a decision whether or not it is slander. If that is the case you will have to take legal action. However, I don't think you need to go that far.

People make up their own minds and your true friends will stick by you and give you the support you need. When you hear these rumours and people say things to you, just respond with a light "well, I don't think I'm the one with the problem" or "he must be obsessed with me, I think... I haven't given him two thoughts".... you know the score.

You're a bright, intelligent woman! Do not let him win... you can rise above this and become stronger because of it....

OK, sorry for the rant.... will go and eat my bacon sarnie now - a great man substitute if ever there was one!! :-)

Answer 3

If you lose your mind then it is your own fault for letting it go.

There are few things in this world you can truly control.... but the ability to control your own mind is well within your grasp. All you need is the will, drive and determination to make it so. You need to crush doubt like an ant beneath your bootheel.

The first obstacle in your path would generally be morality.
If you can dig up any dirt on him... anything that would get him in trouble with the police.... then do it. If that doesn't work out then there are countless things you could well accuse him of, given your situation.... Get a restraining order put on him.

If none of that works.... you could well consider killing him... painting the walls with his blood... making sure he suffers as he dies....
... And then handing yourself in to the police. Its the right thing to be doing afterall. I have heard prison can be a spiritually enlightening place.... Easy way to drag you away from materialism and connection to the mundane.

Answer 4

This man is an abuser and Ii am glad you realise he was mentally cruel. What he seem to be doing is still having that power over you from afar, many abusers can do this. Is is playing with your mind and attacking your self esteem, making you more suceptible to his abuse. Domestic violence is not all about physical abuse, it is emotional, financial and the list goes on. I have put a couple of links on for you to start and get information, counselling is important too. I have been through a lot of emotional/physical abuse in my time too.

Answer 5

HI carrie,
first come out from such a disturbed state.bcz when u feel depressed ur problem was not killed but adds fuel to ur thoughts which never the solution for any problem.
he told to the other people who r jus getting cheated by him like u.so, be patient one after the other will realize u that he did every thing.mistakes r commonly done and realization is most important .
come on every thing goes cool when u look at it in Broadway.
good luck
bye

Answer 6

Sounds like the man is sick and you had a very lucky escape. Be grateful of that. Just because he says your nuts and worse doesn't mean you are and anyone who knows you will know that. More important you know that too. Don't worry Karma will take care of him. Now don't waste one more moment thinking about him, you have got the rest of your life to get on with........ xx

Answer 7

it is easy to fall for a guy with charm as many wemen have including my self, you have got the first bit over with which is admiting you have fallen for an idiot which alot of wemen won't or can't admit to, you know yourself that you did not and have never done any of the rediculas things this guy has said so keep reminding yourself of that and it's hard but try not to think about it too much as this can cause you to doubt yourself which you shouldn't do because you know you haven't done anything wrong, let thid guy say what he wants about you and don't slag him off in return as that will put you on his level and you are better than that, things that he has said is getting back to you so let him dig his own hole when you are told just let it go over the top of your head while yopu are in the company of others and as a response try saying things like, belive that if you want i'm not bothered nor that pathetic, as time goes on and other people see that you aren't bothered ore guilty it will be him that they doubt not you, i know this will be hard but at the same time you will be letting him dig his own hole and gaining your selfrespect back that you may not have lost at all, while putting on a brave face in public you may need to have a close friend that you can confide in behind closed doors because you will still need to vent your feelings of anger, frustration, stress, upset or others because locking these up will just put stress on yourself even if you don't notice it, keep your distance from him but don't let him stop you doing anything that you have always done if you do see him when out just be better than he is and ignore him, as i said it will be hard but you are strong enough to do it and you are better than him, you wont stoop to his level, it may take time but it will work as is has done for me and a few friends of mine, take care and be proud of yourself for being you and being a better person that the one behaving like a child for a pathetic ladys man reputation, remember don't bad moth him just say oh well it didn't work never mind.

Answer 8

Forget about him, he sounds like a total w@nker

Don't get caught up in this, he is just trying to affect- and its working.

My advice to you is to stop thinking about him, talking about him and worrying about what he is saying about you. He is making himself look like an idiot by slagging you off- most people will not judge you just by what he is saying.

Call up your friends, put on your dancing shoes and get out and have some fun. Get away from the usual places you go so you know you won't bump into him- maybe a girls weekend away?

Have some fun, you're young and you deserve it!

Answer 9

The best way is do nothing at first get enough evidence and if ever asked by who ever hold on i have proof what has been going on, full back up you, there not much you can do but what i think is that he may still love you in a certain way

Answer 10

If at all possible move. Move to a different town maybe even a different state. You don't need him near you sucking you into his dementia. If moving isn't realistic at this time try making plans to make it possible. This guy's not going to change and unless he moves it looks like you'll be continually subjected to his crap. Good luck!