GIRLS ONLY please?

Question

hi i had a miscarriage on sunday went for a scan on monday and they told me i was wondering have you ever had a miscarriage and how did you cope ? im only 18 ,(19 in 2week) i was nearly 7 week gone i cant eat it knocks me sick, i tried something to eat on monday but that night i threw it up i didn,t have morning sickness when i was pregnant and i had bad dreams aswell last night about the scan and i just feel crap i just want to forget about it but i cant it still hurts i feel as if it was my fault but it wasnt, how long again can i start trying for another baby

thank you for your help

just so you know i work full time and on a good wage i have my own house and im getting married soon so for all you people what are saying im to young and that your the one that pay tax i pay tax to so i dont need the goverment money i have my own i probly earn more than you

Answer 1

Wait a few years. Your future children will thank you.

Answer 2

I had a miscarriage about 3 years ago. It was extremely hard for me, and there is NOTHING anyone can say to make it easier!

My advice - when people tell you "I'm Sorry" (which they undoubtably will say)... do NOT feel you have to comfort THEM by saying "it's okay" - its NOT! Your pregnancy has ended and you probably feel as if part of you are not adequate - it is NOT true... however, that is how I felt.... Instead, answer with a simple "thank you".

I hate to say it, but the only thing that will make this any easier - is TIME! As time passes, things will get a little easier. Don't force yourself to feel better or anything else! Just do what feels right to you - just like everyone's pregnancy is different - so is every miscarriage!

Good Luck and try to turn to the "3 F's" to get you through this: faith, family and friends!

* Now, I am pregnant again, and am looking forward to a healthy baby! I'm sure this will happen to you, too!

Answer 3

Hi there,

First of all let me say how sorry I am for your loss. I have lost two babies, at 10 and 12 weeks and know how utterly devastating having a miscarriage can be. You will never forget this pregnancy and you will never forget this baby. Make a note of your due date and keep it as a special day of recollection for you and your husband. I got a Little necklace made by La Belle Dame which I wear every day to remember my two lost children. Their web address is below. If you want to talk to someone you can also contact the miscarriage association, again address below. There is a great miscarriage text (which sadly has been taken off line) that has helped me a great deal and which I can post a copy of to you if you like. You can IM me if you want to.
Hang in there and give yourself time. You are in my prayers.

Answer 4

I am soooo sorry to hear of your loss. Trust me i know how you feel. I have two children now. My youngest is nearly 10 months old. But i lost a baby a few years ago at 10 weeks then i lost another baby at 22weeks pregnant. So i know the hurt your feeling. We all deal with this kind of loss in different ways. It was extremely painfull for my partner and I. It took us ages to get over the pain. it still hurts but it has got easier. I know that there is a good chance that our baby could have been badly disabled and maybe not survived after birth. As the miscarage is the body's way of telling you that there was something very wrong. No it doesnt make you feel any better but it is true. What it is important to remember is that it is very common and happens to so many people. When it happened to us so many people came forward and said thet the same thing happened to them. A late miscarage isnt so common though. My best piece of advice is to cry when you need to and let out your emotions. Talk to someone you trust. And if poss take a holiday some where warm or just somewhere relaxing with boyfriend or close freind. it is said thet you should wait untill you have had at least one cycle if poss 3cycles. To allow your body to recover. Which i would recomend but it is really up to you when you feel ready. But wait for at least one period. Good luck to you and take care of yourself. I hope that you get your baby one day. i did so im sure that you will too. you are still young though so take your time. Take no notice of all the critics on here. We all have our opinions but they dont know you and as you havent said if your married or working they should NOT judge. But if in fact your NOT working and you ARE single then like i said take your time theres plenty of time to have kids.

Answer 5

This is a terrible thing for you to have to go through and my sympathy goes out to you. You must remember that this wans't your fault, so try not to blame yourself however hard it is. I agree with the first answer, you are very young to start a family, why not wait a few years, experience life, get some money and experiences behind you before you settle down to family life you wont regret it.

If you are really set on having a family now however you should wait at least 3 months after the miscarriage to try for a baby again. This will give ur body time to recover and prepare for when you conceive next.

All the best, I hope everything works out for you. Try to think positive, even when you feel really down, look forward to what will be.

Answer 6

I had a miscarriage at the same weeks as you did, same age too more or less. It is hard on you but there's no blame to be made, these things happen for a reason beyond our control. It won't get better overnight, you have to grieve for your loss & that takes time sweetheart. You need to keep yourself busy & surround yourself with friends & family.
I wouldn't try for another baby untill you feel able to cope with this loss & medically it's not recommended to try for at least 6 months as your body has to recover in the same way as if u'd had a baby.
Since my miscarriage I've gone on to have 5 babies, I still think of the what if's but realise now that it wasn't meant to be.
Good luck .... & the more you talk about how you feel the easier it will be to cope. x

Answer 7

I had a miscarriage in 05 and it was one of the hardest times of my life. I was on bedrest for a month. I was depressed all the time.

Time went on and things got a little bit easier. You never forget, but eventually you go from thinking about it all day every day, to a few times a day, to once a day, to once every few days..

I didn't try to get pregnant with my first baby, but was excited when I was. My midwife put me on birth control to give my body time to heal. I'm now 32 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl. I was scared at first I would lose this one too, but things have been going great.

I would suggest you wait a while to heal your body and to heal your mind. Just because you want a baby today, does not mean you'll want one in a few months.

Answer 8

I am so sorry. I had a miscarriage 3 years ago so know your pain. What you need to remember is that your hormones are raging. I felt an overwhelming sadness and a black cloud hung over me. I am lucky that i work on a Neonatal Unit with midwives and they told me its similar to what we call 'third day blues' This is when a woman has given birth and the hormones flood out after 3 days, you become very emotional. Its much the same, you are losing all the hormones that accompanied the pregnancy and although it will hurt for a while you will start to feel better when your hormones re balance, you will still be sad but not as ill and out of control. Blaming yourself is all part of the process, you are grieving. I had counselling and leaned heavily on my friends and family. I cried and talked and i named and said goodbye to my baby. You should consider doing this, i felt silly but it did help. I still get sad sometimes but i can think about him without getting upset. You need to give yourself time and be good to yourself, lots of love to you x
P.s you can E Mail me if you want x

Answer 9

Don't be hard on your self, Princess. It really wasn't your fault. It has always amazes me how uninvolved we are in our pregnancies. Yes, babies depend on our bodies for food and shelter but apart from eating well and taking care of ourselves, we can't do anything to directly to help our babies grow. It is their own business and we have no part in it. So if you had a miscarriage, for sure you had no part in it. It probably happened because of a genetic mistake which prevented the embryo from developing any further. You couldn't control that more that you can control a good pregnancy developing. So just accept the fact that maybe it was better that you had a miscarriage than having a deformed baby and that you will have another chance for a baby very soon. Just wait for a couple of months and try again.

Answer 10

For now the pain is still in the front of yor mind so maybe you would consider councelling for the time being, although what you are going through is totally normal. I am so sorry for your loss, but i think it would be a good idea to wait until you have recovered from this tragedy. Maybe in a couple of years when your body is more mature. I hope you get the family you want sweetie. xx

Answer 11

hi there, so sorry about your miscarriage, I'm afraid i cant tell you how long you'll feel sad for, everybody is different. I had 2 miscarriages, 1 at 12 weeks (my first) and 1 at 5 weeks (my second) i conceived my son straight after the second miscarriage, i saw my GP who advised me to do whatever i felt was right. So we tried again and i fell pregnant straight away with no period in between. If you feel you are ready to try again then do so Hun. If you feel your too sad at the mo then leave it a few weeks. I hope your pain fades soon. good luck for the future xxxx