Firstly I'm married and I know this is wrong so please don't give me the lecture on right and wrong I already know. Over the last 6 months I've been flirting with someone and we both thought it was just harmless fun. For me it's gone to infatuation and I told her how I feel. Lots of complications and it never went anywhere (never did anything) ,she says she still wants to be friends which I have said no to. I just think her about her a lot, I know that she definitely isn't right in anyway what so ever, but it's the not having her that makes me want her more. It's been three months now and with time I think it will be ok, but she contacts me every month or so and it just reignites this wanting. I know that it will just be an anti climax, which I have told her. How can I get this person out of my head? p.s My wife isn't aware of this, and apart from this issue we have a wonderful relationship and I feel so guilty for feeling this way.
2007-03-12 23:17:00 · 10 answers · asked by 247 SEB 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
she sounds like a bit of a manipulator to me. She knows how you feel about her...but still wants to be friends with you? Thats odd. Maybe you are good for her ego...thats all. Youve already told her you dont want to be friends, but she rings you every month......she knows that little bit of contact keeps the spark alive, but its going nowhere. Just tell her not to ring anymore and that you meant it when you said you didnt want to be friends with her....You have control of your faculties, you dont have to pick up the phone when she rings. With time the wanting will go away, but whilever she continues to contact you, shes keeping it going...she wont let you forget her.....thats pretty cruel really considering she knows how you feel. I guess the only thing you can do is be strong....use your self control and cut the ties totally with this woman....its the only way you are going to stay committed to your wife and is the only way your guilt will stop......time is the only way you are going to get this woman out of your head...time, and self control. Maybe start romancing your wife again....do the things you used to do before you were married.....try to remember what attracted you to your wife in the first place...bring back the romance, the intimacy and the sexy part of your relationship and if you devote your time to thinking of new and exciting ways to make your marriage more exciting, you will soon forget about this other woman.
2007-03-12 23:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 5⤊ 1⤋
I would tell her again to back off because the relationship is at a deadend and isn't going anywhere. I would also change phone numbers as quickly as possible before your wife accidentally picks up the phone when the other one calls. You should discipline yourself each time a contact is made not to become further infactuated because this girl is playing on your basic instincts to get further involved. It sounds as if you have your priorities straight. Bottom line is just don't get caught. End it quickly before you do. The only way to get rid of the guilt is to get rid of the source for the guilt.
2007-03-12 23:24:00 · answer #2 · answered by gone 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you never had any intention of doing anything whats the harm. Surely you can be honest enough with your wife to let her know what kind a guy you are. So you thought about and chatted up this bird from work. It made you feel great, "I'm the man", "I still got it", "she wants me". Yeah how many guys have that going through their head what 3 times a day. Would you be shocked if your wife told you she had thoughts about Tim from the corner store. Bet your knacker bag,she thought of Tim doing her in the back room of the shop. Get on with life and tell your friend to get laid by someone who can give her what she needs. Whats her number by the way...I'll tell my wife about it; honest.
2007-03-12 23:31:22 · answer #3 · answered by Swarm 1 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Because the grass always looks greener on the other side. People like you will neve be satisfied. Unless they learn to enjoy the good in thier life that they have.
It is good you feel guilty, it shows that you have morals, and can overcome her phone calls, it is only the excitement of living dangerously. Tell your wife you have been getting crank phone calls, and get an unlisted phone number.
2007-03-12 23:32:11 · answer #4 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 2⤊ 2⤋
we always want what we cant have because we cant have it and we never know the important of someone if its still with us, if u like that girl then stop blaming ur wife, if u feel guilty tell it to your wife, do u love ur wife? trust me the hardest thing in life it to be with someone you love whos mind and heart was not with you,upon reading ur question make me think my husband maybe he is the same with u who keep talking with other woman even we have a wonderfulrelationship too, because she cant forget that woman, and maybe he promise that he will never talk with that girl again bacuse he feel guilty also, but still keep thingking that girl,
2007-03-12 23:33:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
have a second (third, fourth, fifth) honeymoon. court your wife again. it's also nice to talk to your wife about it, if she's that open minded.
then see the girl again, maybe what you feel for her have changed. telling her to leave you alone gives her the inclination that you still has an itch for her, with makes her hopeful, and doesn't leave you alone.
2007-03-12 23:26:57 · answer #6 · answered by unhappily married 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ask this woman to stop contacting you explain to her that she makes things difficult for you. the longer she is away the easier it will be for you to be back 100% with your wife.
2007-03-12 23:26:56 · answer #7 · answered by Crystal B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i'm continually previous due as seem to form each thing else 1st & leave myself final........yet for an interview or assembly might continually be on time..................sigh additionally........
2016-10-02 01:11:03 · answer #8 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Make love to your wife,close your eyes and fantasize. Nobody gets hurt that way.
2007-03-12 23:20:25 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 4⤋
look at losers and you will learn,
play with fire and you get burned
"Well I'll play it safe and slow..."
The Bible says you reap what you sow
You can't get away with it this I can tell
The wife you sleep with knows you, knows you well
The truth always comes out and what really sucks
she gets you on adultry you'll be paying her big bucks!
2007-03-12 23:29:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 5⤋