I say 'boyfriend' because it doesn't really feel like we are. I have known him for over a year now and we have been together for that long too. I came from a upper middle class family and he is from a very poor single-mother family. He is half white/half black and his older brother raised him because his mom was not there, she was on heroin and with many guys that were complete losers. But I really care about him. His name is anthony. He is not who I would have ever thought I would have chosen. I have suffered from low self-esteem, an eating disorder, depression. He is very poor and so I buy him food, help him out with money and so on. I try to do nice things for him and he has never done anything special for me but he says that he cares about me. I got pregnant and he says that we had to get an abortion..i had a miscarriage. He says we have helped eachother a lot in the past year. He is not in college he works at a hotel. He is not very motivated and I think he is kind of insecure. He
2007-03-12 22:50:27 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
says that we should just let our relationship go into whatever it is. I've tried to let go of him but I always feel like I need him like 2 days later. I'm in college & I know that I could find a much more motivated, considerate, interesting guy. I think that I am insecure and don't think I could do better...but deep down I know that I could. & when I try to dump him, he always tries to keep me around to. ..but he just has a hard time showing that he needs me when our relationship is not on the line. He is great sexwise but not totally out to please me. I guess I've learned to put up with this. Why am I such a loser? I don't think my parents are happy with my choice, though they have never met him. They say it's because I'm really not that happy with him. Why am I not strong enough to find someone better? I really care about him though. Part of me likes to be with someone not up to the standards I used to have. Less pressure on me maybe. Has anyone ever been through something like this?
2007-03-12 22:54:54 · update #1
I wasn't going to get the abortion. I had a miscarriage. I am not dumb. I was at the top of my HS class and got a full academic scholarship. I just have low self-esteem I guess. I don't know. Thanks for the help..or should I say judgments.
2007-03-12 23:00:37 · update #2
think about your childhood. for some reason you are a fixer. you are with anthony because he needs you and more than anything you need to be needed. that is not a terrible thing as long as you recognize it and dont let it control your life. just examine your own feelings and you will know the right thing to do. and remember you can try to fix other people but it does not work. they can only fix themselves and you can only fix you.
i am a fixer too
2007-03-12 22:59:20 · answer #1 · answered by nettie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have a boyfriend like this as well,. as much as i help him, he sure doesnt do much for me either. I even let him move in with me, big mistake, I found him to be lazy and very unmotivated. He has been homeless in the past, i think he is used to being pity, always getting else to look after his lazy ***. I thought i loved him, but after living with the bum for awhile and realized how much of a loser he was, the feelings of love go away pretty fast. everyone chooses what they want to do in life. Sure doesnt sound like he is doing much about bettering himself.
2007-03-12 23:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by jen w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well to me its seems as if you love him too much and he Love's you but you are not communicating well with each other, and maybe sometimes he feels as if you've helped him so much that he owes you and keep in mind that his appreciating all the thing s that you've done for him but speak to him and tell him how you feel and ask him how he feels about this whole thing that has happen between you two, cause losing a baby is not a small thing okay so speak to him.
2007-03-12 23:01:06 · answer #3 · answered by Lonie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
shawty you working too hard theres nothing wrong with helping.but ultimatly relationships must have a endpoint..But in the same breath happiness is all that matters if you are happy be happy..But please remember there is no such thing as a perfect man..build him into the man you want him to be or leave...but your happiness is first and foremost
2007-03-12 23:02:55 · answer #4 · answered by doughdzm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you have to just forget about him....he is taking advantage of you because you are helping him....if he had really loved you he should have accepted the pregnancy and should have been ready to take the responsibility...so just think about it again...I hope you get a better bf next time.
2007-03-12 23:02:22 · answer #5 · answered by Shilpa B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it doesnt feel like you are because you are not..you are his mother and all that..be friends and move on or quite frankly you will be sorry someday....he has already made you kill your baby, your own flesh and blood ...sorry I had to be so harsh there, but sometimes tough love is best... time to wake up and smell the proverbial coffee...make some new friend and date guys and most of all KEEP YOUR PANTIES ON!
GOOD LUCK !
2007-03-12 22:57:16 · answer #6 · answered by Gary G 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
man !!! he sure is lucky to have a rich dumb gf !!!..where can
I go get one like you ?....lol
2007-03-12 22:57:30 · answer #7 · answered by Roberto D 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like you both have troubles
2007-03-12 22:54:48 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you know what................. your not yet ready to enter any mutual relationship................
2007-03-12 22:55:59 · answer #9 · answered by leila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋