He is a divorcee, we've been together for 2 years, we are 12 years apart in age. We planned to get married this year. He is already staying together with me. He suffered a huge lost in shares, I gave him all my life savings.
Recently, I realise that he have been cheating on me from the start. He have been sleeping with a woman whom owes him money and in return pay back through sexual favours. There is another woman whom he is seeing now, she is from a call-in chatline.
Now he talks in his dreams everyday, exchanging steamy/indecent conversation with her. He cut down alot in calling and messaging me now though he still appear normal as in coming back to sleep and bringing me for meals/movies. Tried confronting him but he says "catch me in bed if not dont accuse me". I've already engaged a private investigator. I'm in a lost.
2007-03-12 21:57:25 · 34 answers · asked by Vally 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I thank you all so much, there are so many kind souls in here. I got the PI but i'm afraid of the reults. I know I have to dump him but I cant bring myself to do it, my parents like him so much but of course they dont know bout his extravagance yet.
Thank you so much, all your response are being recognised and appreciated.
2007-03-12 22:14:06 · update #1
You already know what you have to do. You said you gave him your life savings, so that alone is a clue that any man who would take money from a woman is one that will cheat, lie and whatever it takes to get what he wants. Also he told you he took a lose in his divorce, remember there are 2 sides to each story. Now he is sleeping with another woman from a call in chatline, that is something should concern you because you don't know who else he may have or is sleeping with. He's saying catch him in bed or not accuse him well of course they will always bring it back on the other person. Myself I would not waste my money trying to prove that he is I would have his clothes ready and he would be out. It sounds as if he has brought your self esteem down so use the money you would pay a PI to get a new hair style or take a vacation for just you. Life is to short to worry about some man who has already proven to you he is a cheat and lair. You deserve more than him and one day you will find the right man who will treat you like you deserve.
2007-03-13 09:21:46 · answer #1 · answered by Krinta 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If this guy is cheating on you, and won't admit he is doing it, then my advice to you is to tell him he no longer is wanted in your bed and your life. This guy knew what he had in you, because first of all you gave him your life savings, as you say because he had a huge loss in his shares, but before you did that didn't you had some inkling as to what was going to happen with him, in the future.Do you think he will be able to give you back that money you had saved for you? You also say that your Parents like him a lot and you do not know how to tell them about him. as soon as you make your decision that you want to move on with your life, and make a fresh start without him, then you tell your Parents all he has done to you, and I am sure they will tell you to leave him.
2007-03-18 20:53:18 · answer #2 · answered by a.vasquez7413@sbcglobal.net 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, dump him and go get tested. Your heart will quit hurting. If you have some kind of std it needs to get treated. A good therapist will help you get your self-esteem back this joker has completely destroyed you. I didnt believe anyone when I got told decent guys are out there. They are, I have met a few. You sound like a caring and compassionate person. It is easy for people like him to suck people like you in. The sooner you get rid of him the sooner you will get over him.
2007-03-17 15:41:59 · answer #3 · answered by littlejaysmomma 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should dump him and kick him out of your house! If you moved in with him you should smove out and in with a friend or relative. You deserve more and you know it. Just forget the money between you and call it quits. It isnt worth having a legal battle over and it isnt worth staying and being his doormat who can get a disease from him. Its easy to leave and be happy than to stay and have nothing.
2007-03-12 22:03:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If i was you then i would diffenetly LEAVE him, i dont belive in giving a second chance cuz he will take advantage of ur 4givness and have u heard this quote that says" a cheater is always a cheater". and about ur savings get him into court and he will pay them back wether he want or not you can always track him down.
2007-03-12 22:02:41 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
i will tell you as a man
if i cheat once i will cheat again
i know guys outthere thinks that i am petraing them but hai
a man is never satisfied with one women thats not because there is something wrong with the women but men are like this we tend to be more cheaters than women
belive your instinct and leave him if you knew for sure that he is cheating as he already took your money dont let him take your tears also
2007-03-12 22:04:27 · answer #6 · answered by Syrian4life 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You got to face the facts. A lot of us refused to face the facts that our loved one cheated on us but we got to face this facts bravely.
Once you have evidence, you have to be firm and made your stand clear. Only then you can carry on with your life. In the beginning stage you may find it diffcult to cope but you got to carry on with your life. It is also good that you tell your family members the truth if you have the evidence, I believe they will be giving you their support.
2007-03-13 00:47:00 · answer #7 · answered by Forgettable 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definately leave him. I believe that once a person cheats that they will do it again. How can you even begin to trust him again? No one should put up with any bull like that. I hope you make a good choice.
2007-03-12 23:01:05 · answer #8 · answered by Stephanie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl...
I'm sure you're a BIG girl already and can think which is right or wrong. Being cheated us bad..and you should be optimistic. At least, you did not get marrid to him..imagine you found out his affair after your marriage..there's a lot of dicks out der..all girls need to move on...if we keep thinking bout "him", we wont go further.
2007-03-12 22:05:08 · answer #9 · answered by ELLa 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're being taken for a mug!Why oh why did you give him all your money?You say he's a divorcee,let me guess,his wife divorced him because of him cheating?Dump him before he makes a bigger fool out of you.Once a cheater,always a cheater and if he loved and respected you,he would'nt be seeing anyone else.
2007-03-12 22:04:37 · answer #10 · answered by nanook570 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋