I am 26 and I have been married since I was 19. We had our first child within 1 year He was born with some delays and is now labeled autistic.We also have a 4 year old and a 2 year old. Anyway we have argued since almost day one. He has a short fuse and if I don't agree with him 100% he resorts to name calling and cussing.(mind you we are both supposed to be christians).I am not perfect by far...I tend to be a nag and I have struggled w/postpartum depression. Anway he has lied to me in the past (he was fired from his job and pretended for almost 2 weeks that he was going to work),he is addicted to video games. He doesn't help that much with our older child.He has called me names in front of people when angry and has drew a fist back at me (although he says that it is out of frustration..not that he would actually hit me)I stay home and wait on him and his buds.I had a good job but he wanted me to quit so I did. I feel like I am a single Mom with a paycheck.I feel lonely but he is here
2007-03-12 21:38:16 · 7 answers · asked by Confused 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I know I should leave...sometimes when it is good it is realy good. I feel like I am giving up and being a faliure. I feel like a bad christian. I feel scared to leave my little world and start over with three kids. I guess because he is all I have ever known. Like I said when he is good its great. It doesnt drink or go out w/other girls. But he also doesn't care for me or at least show it very much.(EXP. right after I had my daughter two days after I had outpatient surgery.I asked him to clean out the tub for me with bleach because of the incsion he didn't and he made me stay up all night with the baby and yelled at me when I asked him to p/u my painkillers from the store.He said he was sorry but he was tired from staying up w/me when I delivered the baby.Hello I am the one that pushed her out) Everyone thinks he is so nice because they don;t see behind closed doors.And I guess compared to other men he is.But he is thoughtless,I do everything.And he is selfish.And Xbox rules his world
2007-03-12 22:03:04 · update #1
I don't know your entire situation, but if you are going to stay you both need to go to individual and couples couseling. A marriage takes two whole people. You shouldn't be expected to hold it together all by yourself with duct tape and a paper clip. But most importantly, you need to think about your safety and the safety of your children. I know first hand how hard it is to decide wether or not you should stay. Bottom line... do you want you children to grow up acting like him? Children copy what they see. If he treats you like crap, they will grow up and treat you like crap, and treat their spouses like crap. You have a responsibility not only to yourself but to your children. I know it will be hard to start over. I got married when I was 18, and I am a completely different person now than I was when I got married. I'm sure you are too. I'm a Christian as well, and I've done the "submissive wife" thing and it's not healthy. the Bible also says that he should love you as Christ loved the church. From what you've said, he has a lot of work to do. the idea of that passage is that if your husband loves you and takes care of you, you won't mind doing things for him. There needs to be encouragement, support and a mutual respect from BOTH of you for your marriage to work. But you are not a door mat, and you should not be treated as one. You are a valuable worthwild person and you don't deserve to be treated so poorly. Take your power back, stand up for yourself and become the person you want to be, not who he wants you to be, whether you stay or not.
2007-03-13 02:53:01 · answer #1 · answered by jkluchar1995 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for starters you need to ask yourself if this is the kind of life you want to be living. if so then you need to sit down like mature adults and discuss your problems. tell him exactly how you feel. if he really loves you then he'll do what ever it takes to make it right. if this is not the kind of life you want to live, which i would hope its not, you need to walk away. your children see everything that happens. they hear all even if you are in another room when you argue. this is not the kind of environment your children should be in. you don't want your children to grow up and think that this is how a man treats a woman. you a strong woman. (have to be to stay with him this long) there are so many fish in the sea its not funny, life is too short to live a life of unhappiness. believe me. you need to move on and make a better life for you and your children. you cant make them happy and be the mother you need to be for your children if your unhappy.
2007-03-13 04:52:40 · answer #2 · answered by hottie hot hot 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce. Do not stay together for the sake of the children.
2007-03-13 04:49:39 · answer #3 · answered by Patrick E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
leave him, i know it is hard to go against what we have grown up to (being a Christian myself) but be practical. you have your kids to raise up. he doesn't respect you.. girl! it's not fashionable to be a martyr anymore! if you can raise your kids on your own, do it! it you're lonely, you have God to talk to and your kids for company. (and i hope friends too)
i am... although my husband doesn't drink or call me names, he doesn't help with the responsibility of a family.
good luck!
2007-03-13 06:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by unhappily married 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Divorce. Or just leave. But keep the children with you.
2007-03-13 04:52:32 · answer #5 · answered by katy 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
u should divorce,because u are in dead end,i think u will divorce sooner or later so make it sooner
2007-03-13 04:44:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
DUMP
HIS
A$$Y
2007-03-13 04:43:27 · answer #7 · answered by ladybugewa 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋