From a mom or dad's point of view.?

Question

My brother and I were gonna have our babies around the same time his little Aaliyah was born Sept 14, 2006 my little boy David on Sept 19th Our little Aaliyah died Oct. 24th of SIDS. Hardest thing I have ever been thru and still is. My fear now for my son is more than ever three weeks after Aaliyah died he got sick and they put him on a Apnea machine they just took him off and tonight is his first night with out it. For three weeks I maybe sleep 1-2 hours at night cause of fear but then when I got this machine it told me if he was ok or not. I was able to sleep but It was still beeping saying he wasn't breathing or low heart rate still today when I had to take it back I told the dr this he said he feels safe taking him off it. What can I do from parent to parent to calm my fears the thought of sleep to me is a nightmare and I worked a night shift tonight and the whole way home I was freaking out I came home and held him for a while I just cried. Please help on how I can feel safe.

Answer 1

I am very sorry for your lose. I know exactly how you feel. I'm not sure if there is a way to make you feel completely safe, i wish there was.
I Lost my first child and only son Cameron on April 3rd 2003 to SIDS, he was 8mths & 3wks. I have since given birth to two baby girls one is 2yrs and the other only 3mths. Im am so scared when they go to sleep i wonder everytime if they will wake up even though we use the mat. Everytime i check on my baby i will always put my hand on her chest just to make sure im so paranoid the mat might not work ( even though we check it all the time ).
When we took our eldest daughter of the mats and put her in a big girls bed i didnt sleep for weeks. But you have to remember that if you dont sleep you dont get the rest and energy you need to give your son the attention he needs well with out running you to the ground. I know its hard, i have been there and i will go through with it again when my daughter stops using the mats.
Maybe you should wait a little bit longer to take your son off his maybe take him off them when he goes in to a big boys bed ( out of his cot and in to a single bed ). It will make you feel alot better.
If you wish to talk to me more then please e-mail me at [e-mail]

Hope this helped in some way.

Answer 2

Hun I'm sorry to tell you that you will feel that way for the rest of your life

my second child died of SIDS that was 3 children and 18 years ago i still get that same feeling when i have a baby in the house the baby sleeps with me in my bed and i can not sleep at all

i am a foster mom and i can not take in baby's i just cant handle the lack of sleep i am so scared it will happen again

you need to find someone to talk to about this i spent years in counseling to get over the death of my daughter

please seek someone to help you

Answer 3

First of all my condolences...
My little sister also died of SIDS. When my two sons were babies, I would often wake up and watch them breathing. It was very exhausting indeed, but I was so afraid the same thing would happen to them. I would tell myself over and over that very soon I wouldn't have to be afraid anymore, because SIDS happens to newborns. My sons are both 10 and almost 5 now. You see,.... it is normal for you to worry this much, because it happened before to a family member.... but remember that this is a temporary situation. You will survive. What helped me a lot was praying... praying that I would have the strength to get through the worrisome first few months. There are areas in our lives that we alone cannot manage, because we were not created to be able to do so. So, pray, pray, pray for strength.
There is a reason for everything that happens to us and our loved ones. May God bless you and your husband, your son and the rest of your family.

Answer 4

I don't know what your religious beliefs are, but you need to pray and ask God to take that fear away! The Devil is real and he wants to steal your joy!! If you would feel better seek counseling, sounds like you may still have some emotional issues from the death of your niece. YOUR baby will be fine! Seek the peace of knowing God is in control! Have a blessed day and restful sleep. Good Luck!

Answer 5

I understand your fear & not being able to sleep as i have had post partum depression with all 3 children & one of my rituals was to have all my kids in bed with me & baby in the cot next to me so that i could have my hand on their chests regularly during the night to make sure they were still alive. I still do it now with my 10mo baby. I do not sleep either. I know our circumstances are very different but our fear is the same. I guess the only thing to get you through is to sleep very close to your baby (I had cot right up next to my bed & my hand in with bubs) & check when you have to. I have read some research very recently at my local library that states babies who are resuscitated quickly if their heart stops usually still do not survive so basically if it happens you still do not have any control. Best advice given to me was "let go of the fear". I haven't been able to completely but i do cope better taking a deep breath & knowing that i can't control that situation anyway.

Answer 6

a million. there's a black Arabian named Tuxedo Thyme, which i love. i'm no longer particular what you would possibly want to call him. possibly Tux? that could nicely be lovable. possibly he may have a controversy at the same time with his delivery and someone were given there "basically in Time"? and also you may call him Justin. 2. i'd assume, being an Arab, she will be able to be lively and per chance slightly flighty. possibly Jazzy? Like short for Jasmine... Hmmm. i visit't imagine of a sturdy practice call with Jasmine in it, yet you would possibly want to likely make one up. 3. For some reason i'm considering military time period style names, yet in my options, one is on the accurate of the pecking order and his call may nicely be Colonal, prevalent or Officer or some thing. the different is at or in the route of the bottom and his call may nicely be Rookie. 4. Are they exhibiting or more beneficial basically path, back backyard varieties? 5. I have a tendency to imagine of a cob as a kind of usual, undemanding horse. So a classic, undemanding call? possibly a classic paint call like Splash or Spot. you may make him have an exciting marking, and performance that ought to do at the same time with his call. (ie., he has a spoot that feels like a clover, his call may be fortunate.) 6. what style of shows do they do? considering that Arabs look the craze, in the journey that they do breed shows then she may favor to have an Arabian. If no longer... possibly a warmblood or some thing? in case you would possibly want to upload slightly more beneficial information on what route you want the tale to take i might want to help you out more beneficial. thanks. desire I helped!

Answer 7

Bless you heart, I don't envy you at all and as a parent I know and understand the concerns we have for our children, especially when health related.

Have you considered a second opinion? You are always entitled to a second opinion, as well as a third, fourth and fifth if you feel it's needed.

I wish you and your family the very best!

Answer 8

I think the best thing for you to do is be by your son's side. You know you need to be there for him. You should pray to God or your higher power. I always feel safe and comfort there.

Answer 9

There is a pad you can lay your baby on that detects the slightests movements. it beeps if there is no movement. here is a link i found to one. also get a second opinion. Goddess/God be with you.

Answer 10

wat astory