My husband and I love each other very much and we've always had a good relationship, but lately he just doesn't want to touch me. Why? He moans and complains about it and whines if I ask for a hug or foreplay and won't do it. I really don't understand, because I have tried to be a good wife - I keep the house really clean, I do all the laundry and most of the chores relating to the house and yard, I work full time and make sure all of the bills get paid on time. I have tried to be the best person I can be. Physically I can only think of a handfull of times when I've ever refused sex but it was because I was genuinely sick or insanely tired and I always felt REALLY bad about it and he knew I was sorry. Sometimes I wish he would just rub me or stroke my skin for 10 minutes, but he says that is too "boring." How can I make touching me more exciting?? Something that he wants to do??
2007-03-12 20:59:04 · 15 answers · asked by Angie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Some of you have asked our ages...he is 24 - I am 28. We have been married just about a year. I am 8 months pregnant and he has always loved my body, but sex is becoming extremely uncomfortable/painful and really unpleasurable for me because of the position the baby is in we really can't do much that satisfies me. I DON'T mind satisfying him but maybe he feels bad that he can't satisfy me??? Maybe that's it??? Maybe that's why he's pulling away, physically? He always said he loved my pregnant body before. But I still don't get why that makes foreplay boring - you know - since I don't leave him unsatisfied sexually and he even knows that women like to be satisfied by simple touch like massage or stroking..... it's not like I'm making it a mystery!
2007-03-12 21:30:00 · update #1
well you may think i joking , but men so get jealous, of the firsrt baby.. i dont realy know why, but i guess it mean , we lose time withe the wife, for she need more time with the baby,,,, too you say you 8, moutt, he may be thinking, he hurt the baby in some way,,, realy we men do think of the wife,,, but give it a little time ,an after the baby her thing get back to wher you want it,, good luck,, god bless
2007-03-13 01:04:44 · answer #1 · answered by ghostwalker077 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1.) Stop being so perfect in an attempt to "please" him since he doesn't seem to want to please you.
2.) Next time he wants physical affection, refuse it and tell him that two can play this game. Not to play games, but to let him know how hurt you are. And don't be sorry for rejecting him. You are just way too nice. I don't care if he's your husband and I'm sure he loves you...you are acting like a doormat. Sorry for the bluntness, but I'm really trying to help and I'm on your side. I wonder how long you've been married. The longer this continues (the pattern in the relationship), the harder it will be to fix. Soon, he will be more like a boss and you like his employee rather than partners. Your needs are just as important as his needs. And surely, you deserve a hug even if you HADN'T done the laundry or paid the bills on time. I mean, last time I checked, those had nothing to do with love, just about keeping a good house for two people to share. And you work full-time??? Girl, you really need to get your share from him in this marriage.
2007-03-13 04:08:03 · answer #2 · answered by girlie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you looking good? I mean do you make yourself look sexy? I mean that means a lot too.
However; if you are and you sound like a good man's dream,.....I wonder what is problem is? How old is he?
Possibly going into "Andropause"? (It's the male equivelant of Menopause).
If he IS in at least his mid/late 30s or older, then he needs to either get to a doctor and get his Free Testosterone checked out, or wonder if he is straying.
Did he used to like to do the fore-play and like to touch you?
This can all be the symptoms of Andropause. It may not be you at all, and he may physically as well as mentally incapable of even thinking romantic and sexual thoughts IF he has the common and very little known condition by men today....let alone women even knowing.
2007-03-13 04:07:54 · answer #3 · answered by The Sylvan Wizard 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like he has a problem, maybe you should sit down and talk to him about how you feel. If you still have no answers about why he is acting like this, then you should question if he is with someone else. I hate to say it, cause you seem like you have been a great wife to him. But he wont even engaged in foreplay, that is a clue that something is going on. Look into hirring a PI.
2007-03-13 04:05:34 · answer #4 · answered by bubbles 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats sad really, some men take what they have for granted others loose a lot of their sexual drive as they get older. At least thats what the "experts" say in articles I have read. He should be willing to do whatever you wanted in that department really. Not to many men who wouldn't like to rub and touch all over a woman for awhile at least not any normal ones.
-NmD!
2007-03-13 04:05:16 · answer #5 · answered by NoMaD! 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Relationships have it ups and downs . Sex is very attractive in the begining its charm fades with time go for innovative changes and for that sky is the limit. All the best
2007-03-13 04:23:47 · answer #6 · answered by anand_e_j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old is he? It is possible he is going through male menopause. Go out to dinner with him, and subtly approach the subject. Discuss it with him. Something definitely happened that he has changed. Don't attack him, genuinely show him how much you care about him, and would like to help him, and your relationship.
2007-03-13 04:21:00 · answer #7 · answered by michelebaruch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you have entered the realm of functional instead of sexy. Sounds like he might be a little depressed or just needing a little refresher. Try doing things to pep it up a bit and try not to be so emotionally needy some men hate that.
2007-03-13 04:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Olivia 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think sometimes we jsut get bored in our relationships...I don't know that there is any one answer for any one to give you. I am sorry to hear that you are having problems like this.
2007-03-13 04:11:46 · answer #9 · answered by CBJ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some incident might made him to behave like that..try to go for some long leave with ur husband..or some trip...or something only u 2 will be there..so u wil come to knwo what wrong....or intiate urself to go some whreere long trip what he likes..for 2 0r 3 days..........
-haaaaa
2007-03-13 04:13:37 · answer #10 · answered by manhihash 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋