What am I doing here?

Question

I'm having the worst time of my life right now, it has been bad but not now. I was at work today and just had the thought, "I'm tired of being an adult" and almost started crying and wanted to leave in the middle of my shift. I just recently stopped smoking pot because I was a heavy habitual user.. I sold pot for 4 years but stopped that a year ago or so. I enjoy my current job and have no plans to ever go back into the trade. I feel like i'm stuck and missed 4 years of life.

Since I stopped smoking pot I haven't been able to get out of this wierd existential viewpoint where nothing makes sense, i feel no purpose other than when I'm at work. I can't converse with people, I even try to go out and socialize but end up sitting and staring. I can't sleep, can't think etc... I can talk if I drink but don't want to trade habits so I don't I just sit at home alone mostly. what my problem? I think about counselling but can't afford it. Is there affordable mental help in the USA?

Answer 1

you need company
exchange ideas have some fun etc / your cold turkey is hard to do ... i admire your atempts but feel you need to find softness outside

Answer 2

Perhaps I shouldn't answer this as I have no idea about the mental health system in the USA, but there has to be some help out there. You have just come off pot, which is great, and you are just going through the withdrawal symptoms. Suddenly giving up a heavy addiction may require short term Valium just to help your body and mind relax, I would suggest you get yourself to a doctor asap. Are you going to NA, support is the one thing you could really do with right now. Good luck

Answer 3

First of all I should say that you should be really proud of yourself for having come out of the habit of smoking pot and also having stopped trading it. That itself is a very big achievement and very few people can do that !! And because you did it, that itself shows that you are a very strong person, do not underestimate yourself .
regarding the first part of your question, well we've all felt at some point or the other that we are tired of being adults, thats just a passing temporary phase, dont worry about it, and the part of you missing 4 years of your life, well you havnt missed them, you had an experience which has made you more mature today, and hey life is long enough, and there's always plenty of time to do stuff you wanna do .
About the second part about you feeling no purpose in life- well i would like to suggest that first of all think positive, look at yourself in the mirror, wear clothes which make you feel good about yourself, have confidence in your appearance, in yourself, when you are talking to people, dont think about being absolutely prim and proper and worry about what they might think about you if you said this or that, instead, just be your natural self, that way you'll make friends who like you for what you really are !! Go out with people, it could be something as simple as a movie or maybe just eating out, dont sit at home alone . Busy yourself in hobbies which you like or maybe start learning something new which you always wanted to learn. There's always affordable mental health but believe me, ultimately the one person who can really help you is YOU yourself, just believe in yourself !! We all go through really bad phases in life, but you have an advantage, your bad phase is already over, now you just have to start living again, and that is a lot of fun !! See, you already came out of so much, which goes to show that you are stronger than you think you are !! All the best !!

Answer 4

You are human...and subject to making mistakes. The transition you are going through is natural. But have confidence you will get through this. Just like a storm, it will come and go. There is a lot you can still do with your life. Keep up the fight...one day you may be called upon to help someone that has followed in your exact same foot steps.

Try considering:
1) Exercising
2) Yoga
3) Martial Arts
4) Dance Lessons
5) Travel abroad or take a road trip
6) Read a book

Answer 5

1. Google your local crisis clinic to find counseling clinics that are free, or sliding scale (based on income). When calling, all you need to say for now is that you're suffering from depression, have no resources, and need help.

2. Some community and social service agencies that may help are The Salvation Army and Catholic Community Services. Don't worry about the religion - they take everyone and your therapy wont have to include religion. I promise.

3. If you just want to talk to someone online and be safe, you can search for help in the U.S. or email: http://www.samaritans.org.uk/

Samaritan policy prohibits them from discussing religion, politics, or telling you what you should do. Really great people
who have a good sense of humor and keep everything private.

5. http://www.crazyboards.org/forums/...

I don't know much about these people but they have an excellent sense of humor and they protect their users.

Answer 6

Hi Dirty, That is great you have taken the first steps to keep your life clean. It sounds to me you are depressed and need to go to your local mental health for councilling. They go by your income and figure out by a % of how much you earn a month. You are also having withdraws from smoking pot for 4 years and this it's self will be very hard and depressing on you. You need to find out where they have meetings on drug abuse and start going to them. This will help you out a lot specially if your around people with similar problems.
A Friend.

Clowmy

Answer 7

Your story made me cry!
I understand what you are going thru. I gave it up 10 yrs ago and can identify with all of those feelings. I gave up cigarettes 3mnths ago and had similar feelings! My partner is an habitual user still.
Good on you for doing this for yourself! and you are doing the right thing by looking for someone to reach out to. keep trying!
I am not in the usa but hopefully someone might be able to steer you in the right direction.
I wish you luck......... you are the one who will benefit from the effort.

Answer 8

If you are low income you can generally get free or reduced fee counseling from the public health services.

Also NA (Narcoholics Anonymous) has great free support groups where you get counseling and make friend who are in the same situation you are.

NA helped my nephew a lot and he even met a killer girl there.

I've been impressed by many of his friends and the support they've given him.

There are chapters of NA in most cities of the US.

Answer 9

First of all I would like to say good for you, you overcame a habit that is unsurmountable.

Yes there is, depending where you live you should go to a mental health clinic where they can advise you where to get help according to your financial situation.

Answer 10

you might be depressed you should talk to a counsler or your minister. you are probly just in a rut try to find a hobby or an activity to keep yourself ocupied or join a club or sports leage, you should defantly surround yourself with friends they will help you get past this another thing that could help is a pet

Answer 11

I actually have & positioned on both. oftentimes i'm always in my contacts. -12.50 perscription on those. My glasses? I basically get a pair old Coke bottles and bust them up and positioned on the bottoms in a body.