i hate her she hates me?

Question

i hate my mother inlaw cus she tries to dominate me&i let her.she without knocking comes in my room goes through stuff and tells me what to wear and if she wants to go out to peoples homes she makes me go im not the type of person who even listens to her own parents my nature is not to go out with MIL i want to do my own things not to mention she lies to my husband about me so we can fight, i finally put my foot down and wore what i wanted went only if i felt i had to go with her to homes..i cant stand her i hate her and she hates me.she gossips about me steals my stuff from my room and sings out loud when my husband fights with me,,i seriously cant stand that sleezball what should i do? i cant move out she says she wont let her son leave her,,due to her mental behavior she fakes sickness so her son runs to sit in her room plz i need advice..he loves me but she wants me out and im not gona leave so give me advice based on me sticking in the house with ALL of them

she wants it her way or its hell way if i dont listen....im an adult not a kid im not about to go listen to her when my own parents dont tell me what to do..shes a clean freak who comes in my room curses me out if i didnt quickly throw away my pepsi can as soon as it finished..i have to do things ASAP according to her and i dont feel relaxed i feel soooo annoyed and trapped...i have a little baby how do u expect this from me to be cleaning all day i takecare of the baby 24/7 is she human or what????

Answer 1

u hates her she hates u ... so whats the problem.....

Answer 2

OK lady, calm down. this is a very normal problem in almost every indian household around the globe.there is a very simple solution to this problem - sit down and talk to her. there are no problems in this world which cannot be solved by talking.you will never get love and respect from your hubby if you turn him against his family.one thing our indian men love is and its their family and we all know it.another thing is that problems dont just start form one person.you must be doing something wrong as well.as far as clean freak is concerned, i am a clean freak as well. i cant stand dirt or rubbish lying around the house.do you work anywhere or stay at home?if you dont work outside, i think you should have plenty of time to take care of the baby and clean the house.it doesnt take much effort.we work and clean our houses in this part of the world everyday.besides this, you say you never used to listen to your parents?what sort of a person does that make you?do you even have respect for anyone?i am not saying that it is entirely your fault but have you tried to look at the things i have mentioned above?how old are you?was this an arranged marriage or love?have you ever tried looking at your MIL as your own mother and not your hubby's mother?you have to make compromises everyday whatever your life situation is.today you are listening to your MIL, tommorrow you will be listening to your hubby and then children.thats what life is all about.learn to deal with it instead of running around.try to go out sometimes, make some friends, clear your mind and think of the points i have mentioned above. I am positive it will be a win win situation for all of you.

Answer 3

You know what? Reverse Psychology should do the trick. Some people are really "twisted" at times but honestly, the more you guys get at each other would just make things worse. Try ignoring her being childish and all, treat her nicely, smile at her more often, at do what you wouldn't like to do (positive things). this would make her think that you have given up and decided to give in but it doesn't really work that way :0 Make her think that you like her so she wouldn't try to annoy you as much as she does right now. also, "hating someone" really makes you feel stressed out. Why not think of yourself as a "Bamboo Tree" strong & flexible. It's like, nothing and No one can hurt you. I've been doing this a lot and here I am, stress levels dropped completely. Also, talk to your husband about it for added support every time your mother-in-law brings you down and you're having troubles absorbing the situation. If he loves you then he would do his best to comfort you. Good Luck :)

Answer 4

The best way to find out what she really has in her mind is to sit and talk with her when your husband and father in law is also with you. Let the baby sleep else, it will be disturbed by this.
Does your husband have a sister?If shes in your favour, ask her to speak to your husband and MIL. If he has no sister, you have to be a brave bold woman of the 2000 millennium series.
Try ways of being away from home, go for some classes, learn some new things or things that interest you or allow your MIL to go on pilgrimage.
If your husband is supportive, good for you, else, its time you involve your parents(I know its going to be little difficult for them, but, nothing compared to a daughter being happy).
All the best, may be, you can ask your husband, if your MIL needs some psychatrist help ; )

Answer 5

You have plenty answers but would like to ad this.
You're Husband is a WHIMP= that's a man without a back bone. Once he married you, he made a promise to put you before anyone else. HE'S NOT.
It's time for you two to live by yourselves no matter what Mom wants, she is only manipulating her son and you as well, to get her ways.
Are you working outside of the Home? If not, maybe that could be a way for you to get less problems from Mom?
I would NEVER PUT UP WITH THIS and have my Husband make a choice.

Answer 6

if your husband is working then you should be able to move out and make ends meet until the baby is old enough . and then you get a job .this way she is out of your hair and can not tell you want to do . but the big thing is your husband needs to put his foot down to his mother and tell her not to be doing theses things to you . but as a new mother you still should be cleaning and keeping up your room because if you do the baby can and will get sick . and there is nothing wrong in keeping things up . and I do kind of have to agree with the mother-in-law if your done with things then you should throw it away . and that's not being a cleanly person like what you call her that's taking care of you and your little family there . best of luck to the 3 of you .

Answer 7

Most of the advises here are from westerners.

Westerners think that the male-female relationship is the focal point of the society, and of supreme importance while the other relations and bonds are just unimportant.

Male-female marriage has not been given social sanction and privileges so that man and woman can enjoy romance. It has been given all that so that they can give back to the community including their family members, financial, material, emotional and social support.

Therefore, leaving the mother-in-law to go live on your own, you two is a stupid western advice that I'll never give.

Answer 8

I think you should move out ASAP. Don't listen to her. Who cares on what she thinks. Convince your husband to leave that house not just for your sake but also for that baby. If he doesn't listen, say that you will walk out of this house with YOUR baby. You shouldn't tolerate all of this. You poor thing. I'm surprised you didn't do anything until now. If it was me, hahaha, I would have walked out of that house a long time ago and if my husband truly loved me, then he would come and fetch me and we would come to a compromise of moving into another house. There is no peace in that house and you have too much to do, especially with your baby. You aren't going to be given peace in that house. Trust me and talk to your husband about moving. Good luck and hope all goes well.

Answer 9

I can understand your feelings.But this is the time for you to be brave.AS YOUR HUSBAND SUPPORTS YOU,you are safe.Be strict with her as well as respectful.Put your foot down in important matters leaving the trivia to her choice as it will ease a lot of issues.When she asks you to clean,ask her to take care of the baby,this way she will understand your problems eventually.Tell her to stop gosipping and say that if you star t doing the same, the family prestige will be in shreds.Get some evidence against her which can be shown to your husband to make him understand the hardships she is imposing on you when he is not around.Do not lose your courage at any cost.All the best.

Answer 10

all you need is a good friend with whom you can talk to and stay happy by sharing your feelings,may be your mother in law was treated in the same way so she feels that is the right way and your husband wont go against her that is normal,so keep loving your young one dont let all this effect his life,and its a normal family issue which lot of womens fase so just find a friend to talk on phone and stay happy with your child.way out has a big cost so dont think of it.any ways have a good day.

Answer 11

Unfortunately if she has issues then you have to deal with it the best you can. Your husband loves you but he also loves his mother. That's a very hard choice. I say just bite your tongue or maybe suggest to your husband that you put her in either a mental hospital or a nursing home. Otherwise just humor her. Purposely defying her is only going to continue to make matters worse.