I am a Real Estate agent and always have to meet with differernt clients in different places. And well this last time one of my clients ask me to have lunch after we left from seeing some properties and I agreed so we side tracked alittle and I failed to mention it to my fiance who later got in my car and found a water bottle with the name of the restaurant which also happens to have a spa and resort. Before I could explain he got real upset and was in bad shape. He said he couldn't believe it and that I lied when in reality I didn't think much of it and simply forgot to tell him. I love him with all my heart and would never cheat on him we have a son together and have been bestfriends since we were in middle school. But I don't know what to do he left on Saturday and before he packed and left I tried to explain to him exactly what happened but he refuses to believe me. Should I keep calling him or should I accept it and hope he comes to realize he is making a mistake.
2007-03-12 18:05:32 · 21 answers · asked by sadgirl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Don't give up. If you really love him, then fight for your relationship. He will come around. Good luck!
2007-03-12 18:12:22 · answer #1 · answered by lululegs2000 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I can't help but think based only on what you have told us that there are other trust issues that have surfaced before. So it is hard to really get a bead on what is going on here. I find it hard to believe a guy, who if he has never had any reason to mistrust you in the past, is going to throw years of friendship away on something that is a misunderstanding. Not to mention this could ruin his son's chance to have a two parent home. My hopes is he will calm down and come home and listen to reason. In the meantime, you may want to think about leaving him a long voice mail or even a letter if you know where he is staying, explaining how you understand where you might have been a better communicator but in no way were you cheating and you may want to throw in alot of things like "we have history together, a son and love" I am not saying to apologize for anything you haven't done but you may want to swallow alittle pride for the sake of the relationship. Its what people sometimes do when they are in love unconditionally.....Good Luck!
2007-03-12 18:21:53 · answer #2 · answered by chcman74 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I were you I wouldn't have accepted lunch with another guy just the two of you. I don't see any way out of that to explain to your fiance. It looks bad, even if you didn't cheat; how is he supposed to know? Never spend alone time with the opposite sex. It's just bad news because it can be misconstrued so easy, not to mention your lunch date might like you and now he thinks he's getting somewhere.
My advice would be to give your fiance his space, and later apologize for excepting a lunch offer. He'll just have to take your word for it that it was just lunch. If he can't, there isn't really much else you can do.
If he is normally the type to jump to conclusions, then the jealous type is not worth it in the long run - trust me. They make your life a living hell always walking on eggshells and explaining absolutely everything that looks even remotely iffy - no one needs that.
If he isn't normally like that and this one thing just happened to look bad to him - than give him space and maybe suggest couple's counseling to help you guys get to the bottom of things before he goes and scrap's such a serious relationship on something that didn't happen.
2007-03-12 18:21:17 · answer #3 · answered by Cedar_2006 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has a real problem with trust. If he is this jealous now would he become a control freak after marriage. Let him cool his heels for a bit and let him contact you. Go about your normal routine. If he doesn't contact you in a week, leave him one last message and tell him that you have never been unfaithful and if he can't trust you and believe in you then maybe you made a mistake in thinking he loved you to begin with and you will move on with your life. It will be difficult for you, but you've got to have a man that will believe in you and trust you to be a good husband. If he is that insecure then maybe it's good you found out now instead of later. Good Luck.
2007-03-12 18:14:53 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry but he sounds very insecure. I have had the same problem with meeting with clients and having a relationship. Insecurity isn't something (unfortunately) that gets better in time. He will calm down and call you. Then you can calmly explain your situation. I would not continue to try to call him. Don't beg for forgiveness you did nothing wrong. Personally I would be pissed he walked out (on you and the baby) so easily. Who wants to be in a insecure relationship where the other half is going to keep running out the door every time they don't understand something.
2007-03-12 18:14:26 · answer #5 · answered by Diva Dee 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I think you should give him some time to cool off first. Then try to explain the situation to him. If he really loves you then he will believe the truth. Then again, maybe he's just looking for an out. I wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-12 18:22:38 · answer #6 · answered by my_own_frog 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He's jealous control freak. He claims that he can not trust you. Whether or not you actually did anything he will accuse you of being unfaithful. This guy has problems. If he left - you are better off without him. If you beg him to come back then he will demand that you "confess" and he'll hold it over you forever. In many cases this behavior actually indicates that he is the one that cheated and he's blaming you for the lack of trust. I'm gonna bet that he already has another girl to live with. In a few days he'll come back saying that he was wrong and he'll apologize. If you let him back in - he'll own you. I guarantee this will happen again and again.
2007-03-12 18:12:09 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
Anyone who will not at the very least listen to an explaination has some kind of problem. Your better off without him... You, Ms Real Estate Agent got yourself a reprieve, use it well...
2007-03-12 18:37:03 · answer #8 · answered by John J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that this is a red flag. If he's behaving like this now, I can only imagine later. There is absolutely no reason for him to react this way if he loves you and trusts you. This is something that will happen more often. Be very careful with this guy. It gets worse.
2007-03-12 18:18:53 · answer #9 · answered by Lana 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he is the one that was unhappy and this was the excuse he was waiting for. It seems he sure left in a hurry!Maybe he has something in his closet? I mean, that's a pretty drastic reaction for just an assumption!Anyway, hang in there, let him cool off, and maybe he'll come to his senses,and realize what he's loosing!!!!
2007-03-12 18:23:39 · answer #10 · answered by pinky 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Another way of doing it is to maybe contact the man that you were showing around the houses and ask him if he could help set him straight, as much as you don't want to get him involved in it. You could also ask the person who served you to help i'm sure they wouldn't mind, you may get a bit embaressed though but i'd rather be embaressed than lose my love.
2007-03-12 18:13:21 · answer #11 · answered by jimmy_chick78 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋