My wife is being harassed by her boss - abusive text messages including threats to her job security and unwanted hugging and sexual advances. What can we do about it?
My wife is this bloke's only employee. They work in real estate as a team. He is effectively her mentor within the industry - she has only several months' experience.
At work if he doesn't get his own way - including if my wife does not let him hug her - he stops talking to her and then starts sending a stream of abusive text messages either threatening to sack her or saying things life: 'If you don't like me, f*#% off".
He phones or texts her every day she is not at work (even when away on holiday) and if my wife does not reply immediately the abusive text messages start up again.
He makes comments about making life hell for other people who have worked for him and left - because of this my wife is frightened that she cannot leave or he will try to ruin her life.
2007-03-12 18:03:49 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Business & Finance ➔ Careers & Employment
He regularly insists on buying my wife lunch and pressures her into drinking wine with him over lunch - sometimes he actually pressures her to get drunk.
After getting her drunk he has on seperate occasions taken her to a brothel and pressured her into going inside with him, taken her to a vacant property and attempted to kiss her and driven her to parkland and attempted to initiate oral sex.
He has played a pornographic DVD at work in my wife's presence and also asked her to view porn downloaded from the internet.
He tells her "I love you" - and when she gives him a strange look, not knowing how to react, he adds "as a mate".
And he gave my wife chocolates and a teddy bear on Valentine's Day!
My wife does not know what action to take. She is fearful of his retaliation to her either simply leaving her job (which due to financial pressures of a new mortgage is not a satisfactory outcome for her) or indeed launching harassment proceedings against him.
2007-03-12 18:14:01 · update #1
Our problem is if she just leaves we won't be able to pay our mortgage! And my understanding is that even if she is awarded some sort of compensation through legal action, it could take months to finalise the case. By that stage we will have lost our home!
Anyway, we have some of the abusive text messages from my wife's boss saved on her mobile. I have suggested to my wife that she records in writing everything she remembers that has happened so far and also starts to keep a daily journal of any ongoing harassment.
Does anyone know if it legal to tape their conversations and can that be used as evidence? We live in Queensland, Australia.
2007-03-12 18:21:15 · update #2
sue the bastard!
2007-03-12 18:11:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best thing to do is for your wife to find another job and have this guy put his money where his mouth is. Take him up on his challenge and sue the hell out of him. If there are other people that he had made hell for they may even testify in court for you. This person will never stop, understanding your comments, he has done this to other people and these others have strengthen his ability to control not only them but to continue to control your wife and yourself. Remind yourself that if this is an issue with money and she needs to keep working he may had already figured this out, or his is continuing to do this because she needs the experience. Keep giving into him and He will make more advances and continue to make you fell guilty for not giving in. Stop. Do something about this now Document allhis advances. Make a video or a audio recording and get hard evidence without setting him up. Kick your foot right up his ass, sue the crap out of him and then shake him off your foot and be done with this.
2007-03-12 18:20:28 · answer #2 · answered by The Answer Guy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You wife needs to pick better mentors. Also, you guys should save the text messages as proof of harassment. You guys need to be contacting a lawyer for legal advice and putting a stop to all this. Your wife should not be giving this much power to another human being; her boss is literally taking over her life. She probably needs to work on her self image and go for counseling. No one should take that kind of abuse from anyone else.
2007-03-12 18:15:24 · answer #3 · answered by Muga Wa Kabbz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Document the abusive behavior, this is the best way to build a case of being forced to work in a hostile work environment. Warn the boss that the behavior is unwelcomed. Report it to the Industrial Relations board if you have one(Human Rights and Equal Opportunity Commission (HREOC)) , and contact an attorney like yesterday.
2007-03-12 18:50:14 · answer #4 · answered by slace2k 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
For years off and on, I had such problems. I am sorry now, I did not go to an attorney. I was afraid of losing the job(s)! Now that I am older, I am really sorry I did not get help on this matter. But she will have to have proof and has she even told him how she feels or is she afraid of losing her job? Is she afraid of him? I would have her carry a very small recorder and tape his verbal actions, there is your proof! Get a lawyer and sue the pants of the SOB. He has no right to be a boss.
2007-03-12 18:12:08 · answer #5 · answered by Ms. Zen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to quit. Bottom line. Next, check into your states policies regarding sexual harassment. Most states frown upon it.
Make sure she keeps a journal. Tell her to keep all the messages, bring a microphone/tiny recorder in to work and tape the schmuck. Get an attorney, friend.
2007-03-12 18:15:31 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The first thing you need to do is keep a record of everything that happens then you want to make a report to the police in your county also you need to get a hold of the better business burea then you also need to contact the ethics in your town.Then the last stage is get a lawyer and sue him and the company.
2007-03-12 18:11:57 · answer #7 · answered by CINDY M 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
man, don't let this pass..act quickly, you need to get her out of that office as soon as possible.
if you're planning to file charges, you need to do a lot of preparations to gain a lot of proof that would fire back to your wife's boss. retrieve those text messages, do not erase them. phone bills also reflect calls. providing a coworker to become witness is pretty tough, everybody's silent nowadays, they don't want to get involve so you better anticipate that. if you can provide your wife with a small recorder, the better. just be very discreet and careful. catch him in the act with the recorder, voice recordings are strong evidences.
making life hell for other people?? exactly why she needs to quit the job! good luck, man..
2007-03-12 18:18:24 · answer #8 · answered by hypnotech 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She needs to document the messages and everything else. Then hire an attorney and quit the job.
2007-03-12 18:07:45 · answer #9 · answered by lyllyan 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He s desperate and trying to lure your wife into having an affair with him. This guy is throwing himself at your wife so you d better sue him.
2016-01-08 05:47:51 · answer #10 · answered by That Wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should litigate against the asshole
2007-03-14 22:34:46 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋