paper on why i'm republican. do i sound stupid? any tips?

Question

The assignment is as follows...Tell me if you think you're Republican
or Democrat and what that means ideologically. That being...based on
which party you identify with most, what do they believe in. 1 FULL
page, double spaced, 12 pt Times New Roman font and all that other good
stuff.

If you consider yourself independent...tell me how your political
beliefs differ from the two major parties.



paper:
I am a Republican! What does that mean? In many aspects I don’t identify with the Republican Party at all however in regards to other aspects I passionately stand behind the party.
My parents and grandparents were Republicans but they never really pushed their ideas onto me. I asked my parents at a young age what the difference between Republicans and Democrats are and they summed it up as Republicans take care of their own. I really agree with this concept. I believe that there will always be classes and equality is not feasible. Isn’t equality communism? I think if my family is smart enough to build wealth and yours is not, that is not my problem, good for me and too bad for you.
Having many friends and family who own small businesses, I believe the Republican Party is a stronger supporter for the world of business and the tax breaks that support them. Most business owners I look up to are Republicans.
As far as religion is concerned, I’m agnostic. I personally think that religion keeps a lot of people’s morals in check though. I also think it’s a stupid idea to start removing the word “god” from everything. It’s part of history and should be conserved. As far as the topic of abortion, I barely care. I’m somewhere on the fence. When I was 14 I was pro choice, today I lean more towards pro life. Gay marriage-I don’t much care about this either. I do however believe in somewhat conserving some of our nation’s original framework so I very slightly lean towards being against it, again not because of any religious belief. I also have several good gay friends, but so what; you can’t have your cake and eat it too. Guns-oh yes in this crazy world I should be able to protect myself.
The main reason I call myself a Republican is the fact that I am adamantly against a whole slew of happy little equal people programs. Our welfare system is disgustingly messed up with generations of people “milking the system”. I think a major overhaul is needed and I think fear of racism or political incorrectness stands in the way. I’m not against some basic needs for those who really need it but I think most of the people using it are bums and I think the government workers monitoring and controlling it are even worse.
I work at a center for disabled people who also happen to hire partially disabled people to run the center. A coworker of mine told me how she is really fine now but she wants to keep collecting Medicaid so she makes sure to only work 20 hours. So she could work full time and pay her own benefits, but why not collect free money? This really bothers me. Have you looked at your pay stub to see how much you’re paying for Medicaid? You might be shocked. Oh and she smokes, so our tax money is paying for her $4 cigarettes and of course we’ll be paying her hospital bills when she has emphysema. She also shops on eBay all day for perfume and jewelry. It makes me want to be disabled. Her life is better than many but we should feel sorry for her. I saw the same thing with unemployment benefits growing up in a seasonal area of NJ. Everybody could work but everybody wanted something for nothing so they either said they couldn’t find a job in the winter or found a job under the table so they could lounge around all day and collect that check.
And now we come to my opinion on affirmative action. I understand it’s origin but it’s time to let it go. It’s survival of the fittest. I heard from some engineer friends that NASA’s recent problems stem from the fact that instead of hiring the most qualified for several positions, they instead had to hire the less qualified minorities. I think this is insane!
The war on terror. I don’t feel that I really know enough about everything to form an opinion or make judgment. I support the war, but only barely and because I consider myself a Republican and want to support them. A lot of people have a lot to say about the war but it always seems like its most uneducated that are the experts. So that’s why I am here. To learn.

intro to political science class. teacher leans toward being republican. he can't spell at all so won't be grading on formatting. i think this question is a bit inappropriate in the first place. i'm trying to be bold to have my paper be more exciting rather than professional.

bobby s. great answer but you spelled definitely wrong, pet peeve of mine.

Answer 1

Your arguments are extremely weak...

Answer 2

Susan, instead of going into a full length critique, which has already been done, I would say I have to agree with David M, aupac, Bobby S, crabby, jw, and Dead Fox.

You have some great ideas, sometimes vague, but overall not too bad. Your organization, style, and method are not very clear. I believe if you'd clean this up a bit, it'd be really good. You need back-up as to why you believe as you do instead of just making open-ended statements. You kind of leave the reader hanging.

The one thing that really stuck-out the most to me was when you said that your parents told you that republcans take care of their own. That is just opposite of what republicans do; it is the democrats that do this. If you'll read any of George Lakoff's books, i.e. Moral Politics, Don't Think of an Elephant, Whose Freedom?, or Thinking Points, you'll see what I mean. You could also visit the Rockridge Institute's website that he is a part of and get a good summation as to why liberals are as they are (follow the nurturant parent model) and why conservatives are as they are (follow the authoritarian parent model).

In summation, as your paper stands now and looking at it from an objective point of view without letting my political beliefs interfere, I'd give you a weak B....and that's being generous. I had some very tough professors in my government classes in college, and I believe they'd agree with me.

Answer 3

I think youve answered most of your own
questions. I read all that you wrote, and
I think you need to keep on truckin'. You
are doing something a lot in your peer
group might even banish you for, you
are formulating your own ideas about
the world around you, instead of being
mentally influenced by an atmosphere
of what I call intolerance. It occurs at
all levels of society. It can be a friend
offering pot, or it could be a co-employee
coercing you to give to a charity you
don't believe in, or doing anything you
don't believe in in your heart.

A lot of us can't follow our own instincts,
because the instincts are shallow or its
trying you prove you can do something
to your peers. Some call it "collective
consciousness". You knwo all about that.
And belonging to some type of order, and
your whole personal belief system is supposed
to synchronize to it. Sadly, you prob know
the last two, and it's not about being high IQ,
its about life experience and education. I
was lucky. I got to have some college.

Thanks for your question.

Answer 4

Tell him that you are politically agnostic and don't support one party over another. You support many political views from most parties and you reserve the right to disagree or to agree on the value of any side's point of view.

I believe that your parent's view was right when they said Republicans take care of their own. That means they take care of the wealthy and really could care less about the poor. They are, apparently Godless, because Christians are taught to take care of one and other.

Simplified Republicanism would have a repeal of welfare payments and free hospital care. This would kill thousands of people. With minimum wages where they are - at poverty level is not encouraging people, who can, go to work.

Many more homeless people are now coming from families who did work but they have lost their jobs due to business down-sizing or other reasons.

Much of the poor can not work. Many mental patients are released from care because of loss of funding. These people will always live destitute. There are ghettos of poor all across the country. They are no longer in the unemployment count. With there being a serious amount of unemployment what kind of chance do the chonic poor have of getting a job.

Sure some people do find a way of surviving their poverty and rising above it like Opra. These people are few and far between. If you were raised in poverty it is a strong statistic that you would stay there. In a lot of ways we are a product of our environment.

I don't think that the Democrats are doing much of a job on the fight to eradicate poverty. The problem needs an activistic approach addressing the causes of poverty and the influence of street gangs and other violence.

Your Republican view, on the war in Iraq, is an educated one slaps the face of the fact that on average democrats are better educated than the average republican.

Did you know that the war in Iraq never was about terror. There was NO implication that anyone from Iraq had anything to do with 9/11. Nor did it have anything to with finding WMD (wepons of mass destruction). They were not there, the UN had an investigatigative team in Iraq. The war was based on lies. Another idea floating about was the liberation of the Iraqi from the despot Saddam Huisain. That too is untrue - the US at one time supported Iraq and its war between it and Iran. There have been many thousands of deaths directly attributed to the invasion, thousands more injured and maimed, and even more who lost their lively hood. Much more grief than there ever was with Saddam - not to say that Saddam wasn't a horrible man, he was. The US opened up Iraq to a civil war. At one time I promoted the idea that pulling out US troops would damage Iraq even more. I think now that the US should cut and run and leave the civil war to work itself out. I think there would be less misery this way. Pulling out will never put things right. The US has delivered Hell in the guise of God. Just listen to Bush mentioning God all the time. It should sicken every good Christian.

Answer 5

I only skimmed but the first thing I found was that you're too questioning of even your own beliefs. "Isn't equality communism" no. Communism isn't just EQUALITY. Either way, you ask it as if you're not even sure yourself. In a paper you should sound 2 ways: Sure about yourself or asking a real question to the reader for the purposes of making a point.

Also, you started a paragraph off with "and". Not a good thing to do. You don't have the best transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Grammatically, your paper needs work. As an idea, it is fine.


But politically, no equality isn't communism. I'm not communist and I want everyone to be equal and have equal chances.

Answer 6

Two things. First (I assume you're in college) the paper is fairly well-written. But it lacks a clear organization--that is, a clear topic sentance and logical structure (there is one, but it is not clear to the reader). Try sitting down and outlining your ideas, and then revising the way you've put this together in a more logical fassion. As it is the logic of what your saying is obscured by what seems to be random sentances strung together. BTW--I teach writing at the university level-that's a "professional opinion.

As to how you sound--how you come across. You don't sound stupid. Quite the opposite, in fact. But you do come across as ignorant--and that's not meant to be an insult. But you repeatedly make statements that show you have adopted ideas without either much thought and little knowledge of the issues. Here is one of several examples: "Isn't equality communism?" The answer is simply: no. "Equality" as used in the Declaration of Independance--and as the framers of the Constitution used it--means two things. First, it means equality before the law (which, incidentally, is NOT a feature of communism, even theoriticallly). Secondly, it means equality of opportunity. Please not I said opportunity, not outcomes (which would be communism--in theory, not in practice). Both Republicans and Democrats (or, more generally, conservatives and liberals) share these ideas--and ideals. Depending on which end of the political spectrum one is, you'll find differences of opinion--sometimes passionately held--about the best way to acheive those ideals. Note--I'm talking aboutpeople who think about these issues before they make up their minds--not the extremists, either left or right. On just this one issue, its clear you havn't thought about what you say you believe--but iI could have picked any of a dozen others. Here, if you hasd said something like "I believe that people syould have equal opportunity, but I don't thingk government social programs are the way to achieve that--" that would have shown you had put at least some thought into your statement. The point is not what you believe--but for heaven's sake 9as well as your own) seek out knowledge about the issues and political philosophises--so you understand what you are saying and what you believe.

Answer 7

Your spelling doesn't seem bad, but your punctuation certainly is. Many of your ideas are not expressed as complete sentences.

You jump from one idea to another without using any kind of transitions.

Many of your ideas are not backed up. Your parents and grandparents were Republicans--so what? Don't you believe you should learn to think for yourself? What does it mean when you say, "Republicans take care of their own"? There's no room for nepotism in our society.

Keep religion out of this. You could say you support the Republicans because you agree with them on moral issues such as stem cell research, but not because of religion. How you will reconcile your views with those of Mayor Giuliani I don't know, but that is a different question.

The overall tone of the paper is far too informal. You're writing for a college course, not a letter to your best friend. Avoid contractions and slang.

Answer 8

I'll pick on the essay without picking on the political beliefs.

At times, the writing sounded a bit childish. Given, I don't know what level you are writing for, but you DID ask for opinions...

The second paragraph is already annoying me. Equality does not necessarily equal communism, and communism isn't necessarily a bad thing in the eyes of some people. A better way to put it would be "Mandatory equality is practically communism, which contrasts with the fundamental American principles."

You ended the paragraph by saying "good for me, and too bad for you." This just sounded immature. I agree with you in theory, but the way you phrase this, you will never get sympathy from a liberal. Just stick with saying that you shouldn't be forced to compensate for unsuccessful people's lack of money.

A lot of your wording is unprofessional. Don't call ideas "stupid," call them "misguided."

Don't assume a neutral stance on abortion or gay marriage. You must have SOME opinion, and these issues are too big to sidestep.

The "have + eat your cake" homosexuality argument is absolutely feeble. Straight people can have our cake and eat it, why can't gays? Perhaps you might want to advocate an alternative, (Civil Unions?) or else you just need to put your foot down against homosexuality, fundamentally.

"happy little equal people programs"? This terminology makes me want to hurl, no offense. It is fine to say this when discussing it with your friends, but it is not appropriate in a paper.

You begin your paragraph about welfare saying that it is the main reason that you are a Republican. After seeing that, nobody will want to read the rest of your paper- they already know the important stuff. Either take out the part about it being the main reason, or move the paragraph to the bottom.

"The war on terror." That is NOT a complete sentence! Gah. Personal pet peeve, sorry.

The WoT paragraph uses circular arguments. Your paper is about how the issues affect your politics, not about how the politics affect your views of the issues. I would recommend saying that you back the war because you have faith in the experts and leaders who brought us into it, but DEFINATELY don't go out on a wishy-washy note by being so indecisive.


Here's a biggie, for you. REMEMBER YOUR AUDIENCE. Teachers are 90% or so liberal. Your paper comes across as being insensitive, and a teacher would probably take offense to some of the stuff that you said. Keep in mind that most teachers are relatively poor, but they still feel self-rightous because of their noble profession. If you make it sound like it they deserve to be poor, then they won't like your paper. It is fine to have your beliefs, I share them myself, but you need to realize that your essay needs to focus on what they will see as the positives of being a Republican. For example, the survival of the fittest economic system will actually HELP the poor people, by forcing them to find a job, use their talents, get a life, and whatnot. It's not a case of "That's your problem, " its a case of "This is what's best for you."

Answer 9

You're all over the place.

You juxtapose fact and personal opinion and emotion. You do correctly state several points Republicans stereotypically hold. However your choice of wording sometimes comes across as venom. Particularly for your coworker.

You should cite anything you write. The NASA bit...you need a credible (scholarly or peer reviewed) source. Otherwise you lose impact (especially when dealing with politics). Because what you write is the opposite of what Mike Bakich said (former head of NASA - he said the exact opposite of what you write...google for it). To paraphrase from memory, he needed additional H1-B's because of the lack of qualified American technical talent.

Decent structure. But retract the claws (I refer to your coworker here). You lose impact by writing a blatantly partisan piece and you will be attacked on it (this is true of both sides). I know this is an opinion piece but it does not have to be so....attacking.

Maybe try listing 3 values you have in common with Republicans and dispassionately write how your beliefs mirror the ones listed. Why? Explain the Repub logic and how you agree or disagree with the thought line. That paper is attack proof and gets your message across.

Oh...one more thing. Think for yourself. Do not follow the crowd as you imply with your war support (I refer to your last paragraph). Make your own decisions.

As you mature and experience more of life, your views and perspectives will change. I certainly hope they do as that reflects maturity.

Answer 10

You don't come across as stupid, but you do come across as a bit misinformed.

It began with your parents answer of "Republicans take care of their own", but you didn't do any research to back that up or to counter that point to see what Democrats do. As far as I have been able to tell, each party takes care of their own.

Your crude understanding of communism is shown by your questions of equality being communist. If equality is a communist ideal, why would it be in the Bill Of Rights as follows:

9. Equality

1. Everyone is equal before the law and has the right to equal protection and benefit of the law.
2. Equality includes the full and equal enjoyment of all rights and freedoms. To promote the achievement of equality, legislative and other measures designed to protect or advance persons, or categories of persons, disadvantaged by unfair discrimination may be taken.
3. The state may not unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one or more grounds, including race, gender, sex, pregnancy, marital status, ethnic or social origin, colour, sexual orientation, age, disability, religion, conscience, belief, culture, language and birth.
4. *1 No person may unfairly discriminate directly or indirectly against anyone on one or more grounds in terms of subsection (3). National legislation must be enacted to prevent or prohibit unfair discrimination.
5. Discrimination on one or more of the grounds listed in subsection (3) is unfair unless it is established that the discrimination is fair.

Otherwise I think you made good points about why you lean more towards republicans than democrats or no party at all. Based on the beliefs I read, you could be Rudy Giuliani.

I would suggest however that you do more research on the pros and cons big business brings. I also recommend that you be open to debate and research as you get older. Don't be afraid to hear all sides of an argument, especially a non-American one, you might just learn something or get a different perspective.

Answer 11

There are plenty of top shelf critiques of writing style and structure here to repair the paper technically. And, I give you kudos for being honest about your positions on issues. But, as someone else, and even you stated, Your teacher is most likely liberal and it's time you learn to follow your President's lead and lie to get ahead. Rewrite it as a Democrat, bash the Republicans and get that A grade. ;)