I'm in counseling, and I feel like I am getting stronger. But, I just can't believe how much I am putting up with!
2007-03-12 17:45:00 · 21 answers · asked by Kelly R 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My son is from a previous marriage. My husband helps out with him VERY LITTLE!!! I feel like a single mother, I take care of everything from Cub Scouts to homework. My husband acts like he is a 6 year old most of the time. He will argue with my son on just about everything. He has a bully personality. Whenever I tell him to leave, he tells me that I am crazy and pathetic. Who's PATHETIC!! According to the law, I can not legally make him leave the house.
2007-03-12 18:05:50 · update #1
You do have issues, but they are only the ones you don't want to resolve. If you are strong enough to take care of the necessary things in the situation, then you can take care of the ones that are making you unhappy. Being counseled is a good thing and may help but you have to continue making the steps to get you where you really want to be with you & your child in a better situation. Let your husband know what you are willing to do and need from him to continue your marriage and if he don't comply in ample time, then let go. Material things can be replaced in life, but you only have one life to try and be happy for what time you are allowed. If he won't leave, (he's only staying because he know you won't), then you do it. He can't pay any bills, so he'll leave as soon as bills are due. It's probably a good idea to go to a place where he won't know to find you and start over.
2007-03-12 18:43:30 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you have a fear of being alone, honestly I would rather be alone then have to support a man. I thought being alone was going to be the worst thing in the world and when my daughter turned 18 and moved out (my husband was killed 8 yrs earlier) I thought it was going to be the end of the world.I stayed in my PJs for a year. In front of the computer didnt want to work didnt want to do anything, full blown depression..BUT there was a light at the end of the tunnel. I WAS OK.. I ended up liking being alone, I could do what I wanted when I wanted, I could eat out of the ravioli CAN if I wanted to although I never did, I could go have coffee at 4am if I wanted to, I could date whoever I wanted, I could stay in bed till noon, there was no one there to control anything, I actually had a hard time letting a man into my kozy world after all that I stayed alone for 4 yrs. and when the time was right I did let people back in. Good Luck.
2007-03-13 00:56:34 · answer #2 · answered by Dana D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it just the fact that your husband wont work that is making you crazy, because if he wants to stay at home with your son, while you work, and he helps out, in a way that a stay at home parent would, I don't see the problem. But if he's just a lazy jerk, then kick him out, or you and your boy pack up and leave. You don't have to wait for the strength, you already it have it inside you. If he's the one causing you to go to counseling, getting rid of him will do wonders for you.
2007-03-13 00:53:01 · answer #3 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why isn't your hubby working? Is he taking care of the family like my Dad did when I was younger? Only one child families? I understand how you feel because my mum went through the same thing. You got to be strong and be prepared for rough times too. No idea what the furture holds but don't worry you are not alone, I'm sure of that. Hang on there.
2007-03-13 01:00:58 · answer #4 · answered by happy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL! I just asked the same question... but I am supporting 6 kids and a 7th one... called my husband. Its called co-dependency babe... and the sooner you kick his *** to the curb... the better off you will be. If he straightens out... then bring him back. Just put him to the streets and tell him that he cant come back until he:
A. Has a job
B. Has more respect for you and the child.
C. Gets in and gets help.( a man who doesnt work with a child needs help!)
That is my only advice to you! Trust me! GET OUT NOW WHILE YOUR STILL SANE! and for the LOVE OF GOD... dont get pregnant.
2007-03-13 02:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by Anna Q 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Remember this...your son sees and hears everything - even if you think he doesn't. Do you want him to be like your husband? You stick around - and he will.
Your son will pick up all the bad traits of your husband because he sees a good woman like you staying and accepting it - so he'll believe its "ok".
Is this enough reason to leave?
Why do you put up with it? Do you not like yourself or care about yourself? Do you enjoy being "used" and "abused" emotionally and mentally?
Pack your things and leave - 2day - with your son.
2007-03-13 01:02:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason your husband will not leave is because you are supporting him, yourself and your six year old son.
Go past ten years in some states and you can get to support him for the rest of his life!
Only once without your consent can a person treat you how you do not want to be treated ;thereafter, they have your full consent!
2007-03-13 00:55:27 · answer #7 · answered by Arene 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because you guys have a 6 year old together. Keep in mind that if you dont leave you could end up hurting the child. Being unhappy leads to fights. You dont want to fight infront of the little man.
PS: Im in the same situation.
2007-03-13 00:54:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What about your 6 year old son? What are you teaching him? So when he grows up to be like his father, don't blame your husband, blame yourself. You allowed him to see that its ok to make the women go out and work while the husband sits around ( or what ever he does behind your back)
2007-03-13 00:53:31 · answer #9 · answered by MRSC 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, I applaud your courage for recognizing something is wrong and needing action on your part. You're getting counseling - good! Sometimes we stay in bad situations because it's scary outside the comfortable box. Keep finding your strengths, girlfriend. Do it for your son if not for yourself. He'll follow his father's example if you stay. You deserve better! But YOU have to believe you deserve better. May God bless you and continue to give you strength.
2007-03-13 00:56:10 · answer #10 · answered by Ann 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋