Me and my girlfriend have been dating for almost a year now and wow, let me tell you, shes amazing. I never thought anyone could be in love as much as i once was. But recently, we have been fighting so much, crying and fighting has become part of our everyday lives. She has even punched me in the face a number of times and still, i cant find the strength to tell her we are growing apart. I think one of the reasons im staying with her is the hope that it once will be as good as it once was. I mean i really thought i would spend the rest of my life with this girl and even someday have a baby boy. Please help me somebody. I really do love this girl more that words can explain. But i dont know why anymore...
2007-03-12 17:32:07 · 16 answers · asked by Alex 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
I'm going to be honest here, so know that this comes from someone who has been in a similar situation in the past.
I think you love who she WAS. Most people, when choosing a relationship for themselves, would NOT choose to fight, be upset, be physically hurt (that is abuse), or to be uncertain as to where their relationship is going.
What I did in your situation was to mentally step back, and try to figure out what *I* wanted and needed in a relationship. Then I took a SERIOUS look at my (3 year) relationship. And I found that though the young man I was with WAS a good person, and I COULD find a way to settle with him and make a family, that that would be what I was doing: settling. Settling for something less than what you REALLY want does no one justice.
I finally broke up with him, and though it upset him (he didn't think it would happen, just thought we were having problems), I think he is happier now with his wife and child, as I am with my husband and daughter: the family I always dreamed I'd have.
I met my husband by random events - he came with some friends of mine to my 21st birthday party, not looking for love, but just to have fun with HIS friends. We spent the whole night talking....and the next 8 months until we were married, and now we've spent the best 4 years of my life in constant friendship and communication and love. We have a lovely 2 year old daughter, and that image I had in my mind when in your shoes has come, for the most part, true. We may not be as well-off as I'd like to be, but we're happy, and we're getting there. I was specific, too, and I didn't expect him to walk through my door when he did, looking like he did, with the values that he'd had.
Just find what you need to find. And don't be afraid that you'll not find love by breaking off your relationship. You will, and quite possibly, if you're specific, you'll find what you REALLY want falls right into your lap.
2007-03-12 18:23:00 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't mean to sound brash, but you got to end this. There are about 3 billion other women on this planet, go find somebody better than that. Or just lay off of women for a while. Go do something with your life. Get something accomplished. You have better things to do than giving your strength to this woman. Be strong. Be a man. Never let a woman walk all over you like that. I can't stand it when us men do that. And neither can a woman. They won't respect you if you do. And I find it hard to believe that you can respect yourself right now because of it. I suggest that you take a long look in the mirror, then break up with that girl, with no remorse and take back what she stole from you, your dignity.
2007-03-13 01:08:20 · answer #2 · answered by shaolinmantis77 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been with my boyfriend for 4 yrs. and 6 months. It has been really though. At the beginning it was perfect. I wnated to marry him..I wanted to share everything with him ..everything! until we started fighting!!... we would talk on the phone until 2-3am fighting for something really stupid. Sometimes we would fight a whole week A WHOLE WEEK nonstop fighting slapping (i slapped him a few times) and yelling etc... but you what? I still didn't want to leave him. I felt that I would never ever love someone the way I loved him...and you know what I was right. I ended up our relationship when we had 3 yrs... I dated many guys.. and met wonderful people but nothing could compare to my love for him. We went back together and now we are so happy. Fights are still a part of our lives...but can you name a couple who doens't fight? and we try ...we try with all our hearts to make it better...there will always be good and bad days... Ask yourself why did you love her? what made you feel attracted to her? Have you really tried to make things better? ...Good luck!! and remember "You don't know what you have until you've lost it"
2007-03-13 00:40:23 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody likes change, and breaking up with her would be a huge change in your life.
I don't want to be insensitive, but you really need to get over yourself, her, and your relationship, and just move on. This isn't healthy. (Literally- she could break a nose.)
All relationships have hardships involved, but you shouldn't be facing them so early in the relationship, and you shouldn't be facing them daily.
There's a reason that adolescent relationships usually don't work out. There are a LOT more people for you to meet in the future, and you WILL find someone that you are more compatible with.
Relationships are supposed to be fun and fulfilling. If this is neither, then it isn't really even a relationship anymore. You two would have made it work by now if it could have been make to work. I don't doubt that you were in love, but you need to go out on a limb and have faith that you will find a better love one day. (Easier said than done, I know.)
2007-03-13 00:38:37 · answer #4 · answered by Bobby S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well let me tell you that sometimes when i fight with my husband im like why am i even with you??? but then i realize oh yea b/c i love you. so if you're having this much doubt then you DON"T love her. Loving someone is sticking through the good AND the bad. Even if that means the Bad is REALLY bad. Maybe you're just so comfortable with her that you don't want to have to be UNcomfortable and start dating again. Advice: take a BREAK and see what happens, you're either going to find someone you really care about or you're going to realize she's someone you don't want to loose and go back with her. GOOD LUCK
2007-03-13 04:03:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is she your first love? Because I went through this for YEARS with mine. Let me tell you, it's the same for everyone--when they first discover love, it's amazing and like nothing they've ever experienced before. That doesn't always mean it's with the right (or best) person for you! It doesn't take any of it away, or make it "not real," it just means you are moving on to find someone even better. Remember, sometimes loving someone means loving them (and yourself) enough to let them go. If she is "the one" and you both genuinely try to move on . . .you will discover this and come back together. Hopefully without the fighting and punching!
2007-03-13 00:40:12 · answer #6 · answered by Amy R 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, no, no. You do not let a person hit you or punch you in the face. Drop her now. That sort of abuse will affect you all your life and you cannot hit her back. She takes advantage of you.
Tell her it is over and concentrate on yourself. When you find someone new be sure it is a stable person with a good heart.
The longer you wait the more violent she will be when you finally break up with her; do not let her harm you seriously or kill you.
2007-03-13 00:38:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That happened to me around the same time frame I was with a girl. I stuck it out and things got better. And just so you know, what you are going through is normal. When we fall in love, there is a chemical reaction in our bodies that releases a hormone which makes us blind to the other person's imperfections. Unfortunately, this effect wears out in about 1 to 2 years. That is the reason for your troubles but if you stick it out, you will fall in love again if you and her want it to work out.
2007-03-13 00:35:14 · answer #8 · answered by WWW.MYHIBRID.COM 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well thats how it can be sometimes sometimes people who have been together can't fade together but they fade apart. thats the true test of love. Tell her that your going to see other people because there is probably a better person for you. Then if she is the person you can date her again, if not you have something better. Its a win-win situation unless you dont find someone and she does. but there is always a chance huh.
2007-03-13 00:38:38 · answer #9 · answered by unknown 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand loving someone so much that you dont want to let them go but she is hitting you and if she hits you than if you do stay with her and have kids with her, there is a chance that she will hit your kids. I know you love her and it will be hard to leave her, but I honestly dont think that it is working out between the two of you.
2007-03-13 01:27:40 · answer #10 · answered by Mama of 2 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋