we had an affair (we were both married at the time) seven years ago, it lasted about 3 and a hlf yrs. It was wonderful and I was madly in love with him then. He tried several times to start a conversation regarding us both leaving our sps and us being together, but i would not talk about it. had a nother baby and tried to work it out. However, it didn't work out and after two yrs of being single, i started seeing him again, i love him very much and the problem is, he is still married.
this is not a casual affair, we do everything together, and quite honestly i think his wife knowsand just doesn't care. he (even though i haven't asked) has started talking about how terible it is at home.
Here is the thing, I don't feel bad for dating a married man so save your lectures for someone who cares, i have known several women who have had affairs with married men and ended up married to them for the rest of their lives, how do i know if he will leave his wife if i asked him to
2007-03-12 17:22:08 · 27 answers · asked by parkeni 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you have a pretty good shot, if you ask me. I have no lectures for you, lol. I'm in the same position, and it is a long-term and very serious, loving, and passionate affair (from many miles away...not just a sex-only thing...we talk FAR more than we have sex!). We did finally get together and have been for several years after a three year affair outside of his legal, dried-up, obligatory relationship. So, more power to ya, and yes, you're right, it does work out FAR more often than the holier-than-thou's care to admit or acknowledge. I think you should strike up a conversation about it. See where his heart and headspace are at. Communication is the key. Best of luck to you!!
People on here are obviously perfect and cannot READ, since you clearly stated he wanted to be with you before...idiots.
2007-03-12 17:27:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 3⤋
You two have been perfect for eachother, and have been for a long time. There is a chance that he believes that your relationship would not work as an actual marriage, that it only works as an affair. Therefore, can you see why he would not want to run the risk of getting a divorce and then ruining his relationship with you by taking it to a level where he thinks it might not work? Then he has nothing, and would have to start brand new.
2007-03-12 18:09:15 · answer #2 · answered by Paul 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't know. The thing I am curious about is why would he wait so long to do so??? Seems to me that he has had plenty of time to think that out. Some guys don't see the need to leave their spouses when they have what they want on the side. The only way you probably are going to get through this is to let him know that it is either time to leave her or stop seeing you. Harsh as it sounds, it would force him to make a decision....That or just continue to have the affair for the rest of your life...you DO deserve better than that though, don't you?
2007-03-12 17:28:03 · answer #3 · answered by swtz69drmz 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I guess the only way to know is just ask him. So when will we see your post on here that he left his wife for you and is now having an affair with another woman. If he will do it to his wife he will do it to you. once a cheat always a cheat, but I guess your one of those girls that he will be true to. Think again dream girl
2007-03-12 17:31:31 · answer #4 · answered by celesta_palmer2001 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He hasn't left yet without you asking, which means that he's enjoying have the best of both worlds.
And, take a good look around right now, because if he ever does leave his wife, you could be the next wife sitting at home while he's out with the next woman.
2007-03-12 17:26:33 · answer #5 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
He won't leave his wife. I learnt this the hard way. He needs the affair as a way to relieve his stress from the home problems... Just be careful not to hope so much on him.
2007-03-12 17:34:16 · answer #6 · answered by Shazz Z 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If his home life is so terrible then why is he still married to her? If his marriage is not working and he is in love with you....then there should be no need for you to ask him to leave his wife. That is something he would want to do on his own.
2007-03-12 17:29:19 · answer #7 · answered by Maiden Fair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of the relationship until after he leaves his wife.
There is no real way to tell if he will leave.
I was with a MM for five years and he kept promising he would leave, but he moved out of state with her and she cared for him after he became ill until his death a few years later.
2007-03-12 18:15:35 · answer #8 · answered by curious cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really loves you he will leave his wife and marry you. You will live happily ever after just like the other women that have had affairs and now live happily ever with their lovers.
2007-03-12 17:32:23 · answer #9 · answered by Lana 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
All you have to do is ask him, ask him a lot of questions about his wife keep it very casual unemotional but talk about it a lot very non threatening no attitude just talk and you will get it out of him what he will do or not do.
2007-03-12 18:18:37 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋