I am ttc. I was molested as a child and I hate any manipulation of my nipples. It makes me feel ill and angry. How will this translate into trying to breastfeed? Will my maternal insticts override a deeprooted aversion?
2007-03-12 17:21:47 · 8 answers · asked by Mum2B 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
It might be a good idea to seek some couseling in this area. It would be terrible for your molester to steal such a precious thing from you and your baby.
I think breastfeeding can be very healing, but some survivors have had great struggles. It doesn't hurt to talk to someone experienced in this area now so that you have time to work through it if you need to.
Pregnancy and mothering have helped me claim my body in so many ways. It's been a very healing experience for me, though there have been difficult moments too. I don't think any time of healing is without pain. I can say that I really love and appreciate my body now. It is no longer a source of shame for me, but is now a source of wonder. Especially breastfeeding has made me love my woman's body. It has made me feel so powerful and feminine!
2007-03-12 17:50:42 · answer #1 · answered by Kari 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
I am planning to become a childbirth instructor, and we were told in our training that if a woman does not want to breastfeed, is not even interested in it and doesn't want to talk about it, chances are good that she was a victim of sexual abuse. For some, breastfeeding brings up a lot of painful feelings and memories that they are not able to get past.
On the other hand, though I am not an abuse survivor, I don't especially like having my nipples touched, either. However, I have breastfed for five and a half years. So it depends. You could find it a healing experience.
I would definitley recommend some counseling if you have not already received it. Also, you might talk to someone - like a childbirth educator, doula, or midwife - who has experience counseling abuse survivors. Sometimes women have emotional issues that can cause labor to stall. This webpage has some helpful information:
http://www.gentlebirth.org/archives/abuse.html
Best wishes to you!
2007-03-13 01:54:10 · answer #2 · answered by Ducky's Mom 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the answer to this is no it will not override a deeprooted aversion it will actually bring back memories of that time i know i have been in your shoes and i am so sorry for what has happened to you but you can give it a try because everyone is different. plus it also depends on how you feel about breastfeeding. try to feel postive if you try.
2007-03-13 00:33:40 · answer #3 · answered by CINDY M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say for sure (and the person who answered with a similar experience would know best), but I know that feeling--I get it when touched in a certain way. And breastfeeding has never triggered that feeling in me. If anything, I find it to be a very satisfying feeling--maybe because I know my baby is being satisfied.
Can you afford counselling? Maybe there is some technique out there to help treat the physical affects of past trauma. I am sure you have tried/looked into it all.
Maybe knowing that you can help give your child a healthy secure start in life (that you were sadly deprived of) will be the help you need to be able to do this. And you may find it doesn't trigger those feelings at all! Give it your best. Good luck.
2007-03-13 00:49:21 · answer #4 · answered by kammie42001 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Mothering.com discussions has a great forum called "surving abuse" and it is a great place to privately discuss how the past abuse in your life affects your parenting. You should sign up now, because you have to be a member for a few months to access this section. it will help you tremendously, as there are several moms who have similar experiences. Also, they have a TTC forum, awesome due date clubs and great overall parenting help!-)
2007-03-13 01:17:36 · answer #5 · answered by Terrible Threes 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
u were molested as a child but u dont say anything abt how this affects ur sex life..??? but to answer ur quest if u do not want to breast feed ur child u can always use breast pumps to pump the milk & use feeding bottles instead; however u shud take into consideration that breastfeeding creates a bond between mother & child. BUT, if u think it will still upset u, u shud not do it b/c u may bcome so upset & frustrated that u may take it out on the child, which of course can b very harmful to both u & ur child
2007-03-13 00:32:05 · answer #6 · answered by delicious_d 1 · 0⤊ 5⤋
I hope so, it's a wonderful experience.
2007-03-13 00:29:07 · answer #7 · answered by MJ 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear that, i never breast fed my kids but if u want to breast feed but not actually do so, use a breast pump.
2007-03-13 00:41:07 · answer #8 · answered by POOCHY 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋