Should I still consider her my best friend or just an acquaintance? Please read my story and help me.?

Question

We have known each other for over 8 years but over the last 3 years we have gotten closer and consider each other best friends. She even tells me that I am her best friend. But I feel like I am not and that she has changed over the last year. I think of a best friend like a sister but I don't feel think she feels like that. I tell her everything in my life, help with situations and all. She is nice person and she is fun to be with but somehow i feel different. For example, she knows a lot about make-up and fashion. I don't know much about that stuff and she knows it but she still don't help me. Over the last year, her parents have become really really rich and I think it has gotten to her head. She always talks about money. But she is a really cheap person. She couldn't even buy me a birthday gift and when she went on vacation in the summer time, she told me that she didn't get me anything because everything was so expensive! There are many other situations like this that have happend.

Another example was when she was in the hospital recently for one day and her parents were not there. I took great care of her. I never left her side and made sure she was comfortable. She has not once acknowledged the fact of what i did for her and her parents haven't said anything to me either. nothing.
please dont think i want bad of her. I care for her so much, that is why i took care of her. but i think i am getting fed up with being treated like I am not worth anything. But I don't know what to do and I don't want to lose my best friend. I also don't have many other friends. I have noone who can help me with this. So if you can help me please. thank you.

Answer 1

You said it yourself, you are fed up with the way she's doing you. You need to tell her. You can do it in a round about way. Tell her a story, even if you have to make one up, about an ungrateful person & see if it opens her eyes to the way she treats you. If she doesn't change then you need to let her go, but "break up" with her on good terms since you tell her everything & may have told her things you don't want anybody else to know.

Answer 2

Sometimes people change. It seems obvious that your friend has, in some ways, changed.
There's little any of us can do to hold onto relationships in just the same way they began...progress and circumstances just change...nothing is static, you see.

She's completely different than you are and if you really want to keep her as a friend, you'll do well not to judge her or expect of her what she seems not able to be/do.

I do understand what you mean about feeling under-appreciated. That's never any fun being in relationship with people who aren't supportive of you when you are of them.

There's always a "taker" that teams up with a "giver." You're involved in a relationship that isn't making you happy any more.

All I can suggest is that you sit down and have a face to face talk with this friend explaining what YOUR feelings are and have become. Don't put any blame on her, but just speak about your own feelings. If she still chooses to be a friend and not just an acquaintance, then are you prepared to be your own self as she is being her own self? If you can do this, you've got a friend, if not, perhaps it's time to let her go her way and you look to finding yourself another friend.

Making friends isn't always easy for some of us, but you can let other people into your life little by little while you learn each others ways. It's always a good idea to right up-front let the other person know what your limitations and boundaries are so that she/he won't crowd you past your comfort zone. you'll need to do the same for anyone else, as well.

Accept all as they are. If being in relationship no longer feeds your needs, the relationship will die of its own accord. IMHO

Answer 3

I understand what you are going through...very tough time.See with the kind of experiences you are getting recently, you also now prepare yourself to stay a bit away because the mpore you do for her the more you will get bad experiences.It will sound very rude now when I say now you also start detaching her slowly....If you are really true friends SHE will come back to you.
Loosing a friend is just like loosing a family member but thats the bad part of friendship anybody walks in and out of our lives at their wish and we cant compell them to be the same as we are...so.

Answer 4

Be Open and Talk

As you both are freinds for years, you should not have problem talking to her. Sometime small things come up between friends and at end becomes huge.

Expectations leads you to disasters. But we all do that.
you do what you feel is good and dont expect anything in return.

Dont let these things come in between. Be free and talk.

Answer 5

Talk to her. You have to wonder if you guys have anything in common. If shes not someone you want in your everyday life then I dont see the harm in thinking of her as an acquaintance.

Answer 6

i think you should tell her how you feel. but be nice about it. she may not even realize what she is doing.