Her brother is a crack addict that steals and breaks into the house whenever he feels like it. Her other brother is a con artist that trashed her entire house and conned her out of thousands of dollars which is now on her credit card. Her son is 16 with the mind of an 8 yr old. He is afraid of other people and has panic attacks when you try to get him to talk to other kids. He already flunked out of high school and goes to a GED school where is he supposed to get a job and work for half the day- yet he refuses to get a job or keep one, so he's probably going to get kicked out of that school too... He would be living with us until he's self sufficient, which will probably be never.
Her father thinks it's funny to tell me he's bringing a 9mm beretta to our wedding to shoot me with.
Should I be marrying someone with a family like this? She is a nice person but has absolutely no backbone and can get conned or swindled by absolutely anyone.
2007-03-12 16:36:26 · 12 answers · asked by Jason 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
if i were you, i'd rethink this one!!!
this family will be around all of your married life.
they say you are not marrying the family, think again!!! yes you are!!!
2007-03-12 16:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you truly love her, you should marry her. However, I think that there are a few steps you might want to make beforehand. Someone who comes from this background would have a real hard time escaping without some damage or peculiarities of her own... If it were me, I would be honest about your concerns (tread lightly - it's her family). I would then ask if she would be willing to go through couple's counseling with you to make sure you have common goals and also to be sure your relationship is strong enough for some of the obstacles ahead. It is hard to be a step-parent, but when you throw in a child with special needs, that just increases the stress on your relationship. I think you should let her know that you would like to cut off all family contact with her brothers until they can show years of reform - you will be combining your money - do you really want to put yourself in a position for the crack-head to steal from you (or worse) or the con-artist to max out your credit card? I don't think you want to work hard every day to support these 2 losers. Also, why don't you elope? Let dad know afterwards that your marriage is as serious as your love for his daughter and since he seems to think shooting you was such a humorous idea, you figured he wouldn't mind missing the big day. Keep it light so you aren't confrontational, but this statement will let him know "man-to-man" that you aren't up to taking any crap from him.
2007-03-13 00:16:57 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you love her then marry her and try to help her, in a respectful way, to see when she needs to stand up to her family. She can't be judged on the rest of her family's behavior, but you have the right to expect her to do the right thing if they do try and take advantage of her. Make her see that she is better than the rest and doesn't owe them undeserved loyalty just because they are her blood. Sounds like she and her son could use some therapy if you could talk her into it.
Best of luck to you both, I hope you can work it all out.
2007-03-12 23:55:50 · answer #3 · answered by Polly 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
hold up...may i ask you, are you married or are you not? Because some of your questions say stuff about divorcing your "wife" and yet you say you aren't getting married til September? I'm a bit confused.
And in answer to your question: (assuming you are not married yet.) Just remember that you are going to have to deal w/ these people the rest of your life w/ her. It may be better to break it off now if you can't handle it, instead of going through a messy divorce later.
2007-03-14 00:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by *<dEzI>* 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can change her weakness once you get married plus you'll be the man of the house so you can stop her crack headed brother from coming over and the rest of the bs the family is giving you, her son can get out once he turns 18 and then you'll live happily ever after.
2007-03-12 23:57:19 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs.H 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You would regret it eventually, which sucks! just marry and move far away, but then she probly would not want too,, oh dear you have a big problem, do what you think is right for yourself first. maybe, **** i dont really know!
2007-03-15 02:23:16 · answer #6 · answered by STLKHR 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yeah , marry her. Then she will be off the market and nobody else will have to deal with her and her family.
Does she have a sister?
2007-03-13 00:03:59 · answer #7 · answered by RDW928 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with jessican.... move far away if you got married
2007-03-13 09:21:29 · answer #8 · answered by Arianne 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
"she is a nice person"... ?
forgive me but those words don't exactly scream love and commitment.
2007-03-12 23:45:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
move far away if you get married!
2007-03-12 23:43:55 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋