You're supposed to avoid being around negative people... but what if you're married to one?

Question

My husband has been going through a rough time, and is very negative about everything. It's been like this for months now. He complains pretty much all the time, and even the littlest things -- the slightest inconveniences -- will set him off. He trash-talks everything, even things he once really enjoyed. I've tried to be a good wife and be as understanding and as pleasant as possible, but it's really starting to wear me out and it's making me depressed. I feel like all the burden is on my shoulders to make him feel better.

Answer 1

Do the best you can, as long as you can, then tell him he's driving you nuts! Don't be ugly about it, but just expalin to him that all his negativity is taking it's toll on you.

Answer 2

properly I consider you and your venture. yet I additionally agree mutually with your fiancee nonchalant recommendations-set. the only wasy for youthful young infants or maybe adults to earnings is thru their very own adventure. a minimum of you confirmed your venture and that's a good notice for him. a minimum of he knows you care approximately his kinfolk. yet he does understand his son extra effective than you. there is in straight forward terms lots you tell youthful young infants recently. one element you won't be able to do is lead them to do what you desire them to do. i'm especially specific their have been circumstances you went against your mothers and dads desires and did the alternative which grew to become into undesirable. So if he gets her pregnant then that's his venture no longer yours. yet he has to earnings from his very own blunders. And specific each thing does take place for a reason. So do no longer hardship purely shop a sparkling recommendations and nevertheless marry your fiancee. It shouldn't intervene mutually with your courting. the boy is purely about grown. He has already helped boost him. a minimum of provide him that lots credit. It does no longer propose he's not a brilliant father yet he knows how men are while they're youthful. And for all you realize he must be up there enjoying video games or something who knows. good success

Answer 3

During one of his less disagreeable moments, you might want to try saying to him, "I love you and I'm sorry things have been difficult for you lately. I am trying to help and nothing seems to work, so I would like to ask for your undivided attention for a few minutes to talk about ME. We have both been so focused on you lately, that I would like a little attention from you. We are in this together and this is wearing me down. (explain how) Here is what I need from you moving forward to make things more tolerable (explain what you want). I would like to continue to support you as best I can. What can I do to make things easier or just make you feel a little better?
The most important thing is body language and tone while you are delivering this one - open body language with eye contact. Tone - even, warm and firm. You need to remain serious and don't allow yourself to get emotional.
Good luck.

Answer 4

Let him be a burden unto himself. You need to let every negative thing he says slide straight over your shoulders. Don't let his negativity draw you down. Tell him that people don't like negative people and that you are fed up with all the moaning and complaining he does about things. Next time he complains say to him that surely he can see some positive in it. If he can't then he needs help and you need to let him know that he is damaging your thoughts with his negativity. Don't try and make him feel better let him make himself feel better as he obviously likes to be all dark and gloomy, if that's what he want leave him to it and you continue to be the cheery person you used to be.

Answer 5

I think u guys need to talk things out... Explain to hm in the nicest possible way that his negativities are taking a toll on u and plus, being negative doesn't make things any much easier nor better. It is useless to stay bitter coz in the end it is u who suffer.

I'm sure u can work things out. Compromise is the key word here. N with compromise, it doesn't mean just u alone. It takes 2 to tango. 2 hands to clap.

If he needs space to work things out with himself, then give the man his space.

I understand that u r getting to ur breaking point anytime soon, but be strong. If not for him, then for urself n ur kids if u have any...

I pray the best for u, take care...

Answer 6

Dear tell him how you feel and that you are worried about him. He probably isn't aware of the negative way he acts and it sounds as if he hasn't always been this way. Explain to him that you are there to love and support him but he must try to help himself and the first way is to try and look at the good things in his life first before he says anything negative. Just keep talking to him and I'm sure you will win the day. You sound like a very loving wife and he's lucky to have you.

Answer 7

He's grown, so why would you want to take on that responsibility? He can get help if he wants it, or sit and try talking to you about it to try and make sense of what's bothering him, but he won't. So, let him know that he has this option and tell him how you feel and what's happening to your marriage (unhappiness). Hopefully, he'll look at things for what they are and start working for a better relationship before it's too late.

Answer 8

You shouldn't be getting depressed over his comments! That's very weak minded of you. What you need to do is tell him how it's making you feel and respond to his comments with a positive perspective. I would also suggest that your husband speak with a psychologist as his negative thinking could lead him into depression. Nip it in the bud right now.

Answer 9

it is not your responsibility to make him feel better.
he is having a hard time. be there for him but let him work it out his own way. that's being a good wife. putting up with that kind of bull@@@@ once in a while.

Answer 10

Thank you for this question. That's exactly what I was married to...and it ruined my life. I've wasted the best part of my adult life being attached to this miserable person who did nothing but degrade me for years. She even tried to turn my kids against me. Thank god they finally see the light and have given me the credit that I needed to vendicate myself somewhat.