Should I disassociate myself with a girl who has over 121 sexual partners?

Question

This girl and I have been friends since elementary school. Thing is, she was born a crack baby and abandoned by her crack fiend mother.

Answer 1

This girl has a self esteem problem, and a distorted view of relationships--since her role model a bad mom and no dad. She is looking to get the affection of men the way she thinks she has to. She can't blame mom forever--no need to--time to grow up and get on with her life. there is nothing to say or do--she doesn't want to hear it. Just be nice and ignore the other stuff--it isn't your business unless it is done in your presence and it makes you uncomfortable---good luck

Answer 2

This has got to be really difficult for you. It's so sad to see a friend change over time, especially in this way. She's found someone to blame so that releases her of responsibility in her mind, she is trying to get the attention from these guys because she feel lacking or unwanted because of her mother. But this very same behavior is leading her down the same path in a way sex is her addiction.

If you've talked and she won't change you have to say at some point I'm your friend and I'm here for you but I can NOT stand by and watch you drag yourself down..... Maybe she will wake up and maybe she won't. But at some point you have to realize that is her decision, you could let her know when she is ready to change you will be here for her. Other than that I would end the relationship. I'm sorry.

Answer 3

BIRDS OF A FEATHER FLOCK TOGETHER...I am sure that your mother told you that one.
Unless you want her reputation to become yours, you should treat her with LONG arms.....
I would seriously believe that the five girls that I am friends with, could come up wiht that many men if we put our lists together...Probably not even half of that. Geez, I cant even remember all of the names of the people in my high school class, how does she remember that many men unless there were some 'choo choo' sounds during several of the encoutners....
(for example: men 78- 92 were from prom night, 93-105 were from the frat party...)
Sure she needs help, but the help she needs you CANNOT give to her no matter how good of a friend you are. They pay counselors thousands of bucks to figure that kinda stuff out and they still cant.
and surely you get it that NONE of these men give less than two shyts about her!


Lets think about this if you will.
I am going to make a few assumptions....by the text, I am going to guess she is
17 (11th grade), if she has been having sex since 14 (when you started high school) then that is 40 men a year! Read this again because it is important FORTY MEN PER YEAR!!!!!!!!!! That means EVERY week (off for one week due to her cycle) she has a NEW SEX PARTNER!
(note to self: check into trojan's stock)
EVERY WEEK A NEW PENIS!
EVERY WEEK!


If you TELL her how you feel, then she will just hide the behavior from YOU!


Aside from the morality issue, Her behavior could put YOU in harms way. A 'no' from you might not mean much to a man if you are out with her since they know what kind of woman she is, they could assume you are too. Not to say that this is correct behavior by the man but it is REALITY! Any man who knows that she has been with that many men (and believe me they know she gets around) will think that you are easy too and treat you accordingly!

I doubt that she will change and you do too.

I am sure that she feels bad enough so, Dont cut her off immediately, just make a slow change, seek out new friends and get really busy when she wants to go and hang out. Eventually, she will find other loose girls to hang out with and you will find more healthy ones.
****
The easiest thing to ruin and the hardest thing to restore is not your credit but your reputation.....do YOU know of any EX whores????Most men/boys dont either....they just consider them to be on hiatius!

Answer 4

I'm not sure I know the best answer, but have to help....So, here goes. Do you really like this girl? Do you hang out with her because you feel sorry for her? Do you secretly not like this girl because of what she does? I think you need to be honest about how you feel about the friendship. Also, I think this girl needs help. That many partners, and she's not sick yet? She will be....She needs a friend, but if you aren't in it for the right reasons, maybe that friend isn't you. It's tough to say, but it may be true.

Answer 5

U know they say dont judge a book by it's cover, but we all due.. And if U hang out with her people may think your easy like her, And I'm sure U dont want this reputation and besides she cant put the blame on her mother I'm sure she knows right from wrong and knows how people are judging her. So I'd find another friend. But the choice is all yours good luck!!!

Answer 6

I don't think you should just give up on a friendship based on your friend's sexual past. It's not really about that. It's about how well you get along, if you trust eachother, stuff like that. Everybody makes mistakes and i'm sure someday she will feel regret for what she has done if she doesn't already. Obviously you have stayed friends this long for some reason. Have you tried talking to her about your feelings about what she does? Let her know how you feel and tell her about your concerns. It might make alot of difference to her. Good luck and I hope my advice helped!

Answer 7

We all have our faults. Some people are compulsive liars. Others are thieves. Others are incredibly air-headed. Others gossip. Others are, well, sluts. You can sleep around and be a good person otherwise.

If she is otherwise a good friend to you, and if you can accept her for who she is, there's no reason you should distance yourself from her. However, if you're worried that she'll drag you down into another desturctive behavior or pressure you into doing something you don't want to do, then maybe you should consider ending the firendship.

Answer 8

Her sexual promiscuity has nothing to do with what kind of friend she is and that's what you should base your relationship on, not how many guys she does. Sounds like she needs some guidance though, girls that act like her are (in most cases) looking for love and approval. Anyway of talking her into going to counseling? She has a low opinion of herself and needs to know that's not how you get love and she doesn't need the guys approval.

Answer 9

First off I think your friend should be talking to an adult they trust either a teacher, counselor, etc., because it sounds like she has a very serious issue she needs to deal with. As for removing yourself from her that is up to you. She sounds like she is lost and maybe you can help her to have more respect in herself to stop her very dangerous behaviors. If you are uncomfortable with her picking people up on your way home (understandable) tell her this and try to open a conversation. Please, do talk to her and an adult about this as it is a very dangerous situation both for her health and safety!

Answer 10

Her actions don't speak of your friendship with her but of her friendship with herself. She has very low self-esteem and I'm sure what her mother did didn't help matters either.

She needs a friend that she can count on. One day she'll be alone with no one to turn to...it would be nice if she knew you cared for her unconditionally.

Has anyone recommend counseling for her? If she doesn't want to go, why not ask her to go with you. Just a thought.

Friendship, true friendship, is unconditional. You don't get yourself into trouble because of that friendship - but friends accept each others imperfections.

Good luck to you - and her.