I am almost 25 years old and I have never been in a relationship that I can say I was happy with. I have gone out with girls in the past but I just never clicked. I have known I was attracted to guys for a long time now but I just don't want to have to deal with my family and friends. Yeah, you can say your friends that are true friends will like you for you. I am not out as you can tell but I am tired of my friends checking out my myspace with 600 friends, most from the groups that I belong to that happen to be gay or bi. I get messages and phone calls all the time asking me "if I am gay" or "whats the deal with you" questions. I was just wondering if it ever gets better. I am pretty sure that I will be alone for the rest of my life and I am ok with that but I think that I will regret this and the end.
Hopeless and confused,
-Chase
2007-03-12 16:05:59 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
It will likely get better when you're out. True, you may lose some friends; some of your family may turn on you. The point is that when you're honest with yourself, others are likely to be more honest with you. If you're keeping your relationships secret, how sincere can they be?
The best way to have an honest and deep relationship is to have one that isn't a secret.
2007-03-12 16:10:23 · answer #1 · answered by Deirdre H 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The world is not enlightened yet!
Bi, is the best of all worlds, I would imagine, but it's no use - really..... These days, none of those labels matter much... I know from the college scene, anyway, that you just do what you feel like doing at the moment, it's not considered gay or straight - it's just fun and whatever you are willing to do!?
Nothing is taboo, really...
If you're good looking with a reasonably good personality, you'll have lots of opportunity for exploration..
If you ain't so pretty, then you'll have to rely more on your personality and close group of friends.
But since you're 25, hell yeah, it gets better. Jesus, the thirties are crazy - you don't want to miss those!
Just have as much fun as possible before you even think about settling down.
Find what you genuinely enjoy and capitalize on it. Everyday can be an adventure. If you are going stir crazy, make some extreme changes in your life.
Get a motorcycle and sell everything and hit the road, or sell everything and research overseas trips, move, find your cause, read, reasd, read...
If you are one way and feel stuck... Change some of the fundamentals of who you are.. If you are fat, lose weight. If you're a nerd, get a tattoo and go punk, if you're just plain ugly, use that to your advantage - people love dorks.
If you're just prone to depression, do something extreme. (make sure it is legal and not harmful) - go back to school, get a new job, etc. etc. etc....
2007-03-12 23:28:24 · answer #2 · answered by John Galt 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Even if it is rocky coming out, you'd probably be happier if you did so. Also, if your number is on myspace get it off and I'd change the phone number as well if they was feasible. You don't deserve harassing phone calls. I'd also recommend finding a boyfriend. You may have a preference for men or just really want to be in a relationship with a male before you can actually feel comfortable in a relationship with anyone. It's important to feel comfortable with yourself and feel acknowledged as you by your friends.
2007-03-12 23:25:38 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've been bi for over 40 years, and it's as good or bad as you choose to make it. The one thing have to do is be honest, most of all with yourself. If it has never clicked with a woman, are you really sure you are bi? You are in the closet relative to men, many gay men make a show of going out with women as a way maintaining their cover, if that is the case with you, then you are not bi, you are a closeted gay. Nothing wrong with that, but if it's the case, admit it to yourself. A true bisexual, such as myself, clicks just as easily with either sex, and that doesn't appear to be the case with you. Just remember, anyone who says there is no such thing as a bisexual has no background in history, and no grounding in reality, we are all around you.
2007-03-13 11:41:54 · answer #4 · answered by ? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes. It gets better, once you start being honest with yourself. Courage, Chase. It seems like you have a great need for external validation and approval (600 friends on myspace? Seriously?) Learn to give yourself just half of the acceptance you want from others and you'll do just fine. Good things will come your way once you're ready for them. You know--the old saying, "You can't truly love someone else until you've learned to love yourself."
2007-03-12 23:17:20 · answer #5 · answered by melzoom615 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Finding love is the luck of the draw, you may find someone to spend the rest of your life with or you may not. It is no different if you were straight, bi or gay, its all on how you look at others and what you expect from others, no matter which side you are on if you set your standards to high or low then you will never find love. There is a middle ground that all of us have to find and once we find if we must react or it passes by and we may never find one like that one again. Hope that helps good luck.
2007-03-12 23:27:00 · answer #6 · answered by Johnny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not gay or bi, but I think you deserve to have love in your life. Your family and friends most likely already know you're gay. Don't waste your chance at a great life and love just to maintain your dignity. No one's buying it and this way, no one gets paid! Go frolic, youngster!
2007-03-12 23:12:06 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You and I should talk... Maybe we can both figure this out as I am goin through the same thing...
2007-03-12 23:21:36 · answer #8 · answered by xander_1786 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sure, it will get better...one day at a time...just wait.
2007-03-12 23:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by fade_this_rally 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
pick a team and quit kidding yourself. there is no such thing as "bi".
2007-03-12 23:10:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 6⤋