On our honeymoon 3yrs ago on a cruise ship as we approached our cabin my husband opened the door walked in first and let the door slam in my face almost breaking my nose, thankfully i had my foot resting on it to break the majority of the slam. as i entered the room, i had to bring to his attn what had happened. he replied "im sorry i didnt do it on purpose", this man is not the same as i am used to in other men. I have had to "teach" him how to treat a lady, ie:opening car doors, walking on the outside of traffic, basically the treating a lady like a lady. now he does not understand why this bothers me, he thinks cuz its in the past i should be over it.
2007-03-12 15:41:22 · 30 answers · asked by jane d 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why would you want to marry someone you have to train? You said you had to "teach" him how to treat a lady - why didn't you wait for someone who already fit your "job description" instead of trying to fill the position with someone you have to re-create?
2007-03-12 18:08:00 · answer #1 · answered by Mrs. Goddess 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm gathering that you may have dated this "gentleman" prior to marrying him.
In all that time, didn't you notice he's an oaf?
And now, 3 years later, you still want to give him grief for something he already apologized for?
Maybe if you acted like a "lady", instead of a nagging harpy, you'd get a little better treatment.
After 3 years, you should be the one apologizing to him for ever bringing it up again. Forgive him and move on.
So he's not the most sophisticated man about town.
Does he sleep around on you?
Does he slap you around?
Does he drink too much?
Is he a pimp? Sell drugs?
If you answer no to all of the above, then appreciate him. If you can't live with his faults, do him a favor and divorce him. Go find your perfect man. I'm sure he's out there. Just ask Oprah, or any of the talk show hostesses on day time tv, where to find him. They have all the answers.
You're lucky he doesn't take you on another cruise and "politely" throw you overboard.
2007-03-12 15:59:22 · answer #2 · answered by RepoMan18 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If you had to teach this man how to treat a lady then why did you marry him? Did he suddenly change after he put the ring on your finger? Or was he this way before you married him and now you want to change him?
If he treated you this way before you got married then I would say that you have an uphill battle. Trying to change a man is harder than it looks.
If he treated you well and suddenly changed then I would tell you to sit him down and talk to him. Let him know that he isn't treating you like he did. And just because you are married the dating doesn't end. You both need to keep doing special things for each other.
Good Luck.
2007-03-12 16:14:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
How quite some your life are you going to waste on a guy that would not choose for to pay attention you, and refuses to look at you once you walk right into a room bare, this is ridiculous, he must be throughout you. no longer sitting at his laptop watching different females. this is suggestion possibly he's bored, you ought to attempt and spice issues up a sprint possibly walk into the room with a gown on with some stockings and heals, that should open up his eyes, get you a wig, and probably you ought to attempt masturbating for him, attempt something that's your husband, do no longer permit him pass that common. attempt what ever it takes and if that would not paintings then possibly you ought to evaluate a divorce, or perhaps a small separation, this provide you 2 time to think of approximately what concerns the main. If he truly cares then this could open his eyes and he will understand that, by way of fact he would not choose for to lose you.
2016-12-14 17:36:42 · answer #4 · answered by parenti 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You married knowing good and well what his faults were. You can NOT marry a man and try to change him! If he said he didn't mean to do it, get over it already. Some men are super slow when it comes to chivarly. It's not exactly a fairy tale we live in anymore. MOST men are dumb and clueless about the little stuff like opening the car door, etc. but you knew that about him before you married him. Now you have a lifetime to focus on what you love about him, and not what he did to you 3 years ago.
2007-03-12 16:36:20 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men! They just don't get it sometimes. Your patience level is going to grow each time he is inconsiderate. Just try to remember we need to LEARN patience and there has to be someone to teach us that. Your husband loves you he wasn't taught to be considerate by his parents and he sometimes must seem a real pain. but try to remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love with him
What are the qualities that make him the man that you walked down the aisle to promise to love and cherish for the rest of your life. In good times and in bad. Remember when he is such a pain that you want to cry. Remember the love that you have and cherish him above yourself. This is true love placing him first and then He'll notice the little things the cup of coffee that is ready when he gets up, the good meal you cook for him at the end of YOUR busy day. Men want respect more than anything else so show that and I'll bet good money he starts to listen to you more and even respond to you differently.. Been married twenty five years May God help you, Carol P.s. let the past mistakes stay in the past.
2007-03-12 15:57:42 · answer #6 · answered by Carol B 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This seems more like a complaint than a question. Why would it bother now and not before? If that bothered you before then why did you marry him? There should have been plenty of time for manner-teaching during the dating part of the relationship. Besides, you shouldn't be dating a guy you're going to drastically change, much less marry him.
2007-03-12 15:49:43 · answer #7 · answered by Danny K 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm surprised that you took the risk or marrying first and then took on the task of training him. It would have been a smarter move to house train him before you took him home for good. I think you should let the door slaming issue go but concentrate on the here and now, tell him when he treats you like a lady it makes you feel happy. If you are happy you are more likely to show your appreciation in ways he might enjoy. Like most men, him see there is something for him in learning good manners to his lovely lady wife.
2007-03-12 15:49:58 · answer #8 · answered by smilingtalker_au 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It was three years ago. You are lucky most men cannot be taught things like that. When I first met my husband, I came home one valentine's day to candles and low lighting. I was totally not expecting him to be romantic and started blowing out the candles. I felt so stupid when I realized what I had done. No one had ever treated me that way before. I take it for granted now, just a little. At least you have to do the teaching, I had to be taught how to accept those kinds of things. Seven years later, he hasn't changed. Once your man is all taught up, he will be that way forever also. Good for you.
2007-03-12 15:55:13 · answer #9 · answered by Ofie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
This happened 3 years ago? And it STILL bothers you?
Please. Read "The disappearance of the Universe" by Gary Reynard.
In the meantime, just FORGIVE him. Drop it. It's killing you!
In the Our Father, it says" forgive US our trespasses AS....."
You are forgiven of your mistakes ONLY when you forgive others...and what a relief to be forgiven!
You clearly did not know your mate before you married him, so take responsibility for that. The fact that he HAS changed, is changing is proof enough that he loves you.
Be grateful for where you are today and drop all this resentment baggage NOW
2007-03-12 15:55:31 · answer #10 · answered by bak2deefuture 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋