are you quick to defend yourself? do you suddenly doubt yourself? do you go on the offensive, or the defensive, or into a shell?
how do you respond to criticism... what's your first quickest reaction?
2007-03-12 15:34:31 · 10 answers · asked by patzky99 6 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Immediately ?
I compare what the person is saying to what I believe for myself on the subject and if anyone else has said the same thing they are.
Mind you if someone has raised their voice or in my opinion out of line, I will not consider what they are saying and shut down any response that might feed them.
I have worked with people way too long to take anything to heart right away. It is a mental thing when dealing with people outside my family.
Finally, if it is my husband that is giving the criticism, :( I am defensive. Because it hurts when it comes from someone I love that much.
But never, ever call me stubborn buster ... I am not!
2007-03-12 18:10:07 · answer #1 · answered by Threeicys 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I have trained myself so that my first reaction is to detatch. If I can do that then I don't have to take the criticism personally. Most of the time when someone offers criticism they mean well and are talking about what the perceive as a problem. They usually are NOT trying to insult. Unfortunately my natural reaction was to go on the defensive. I asked myself why I was defensive so quickly and the answer came back, because I felt threatened. I thought if I was wrong then I was inferior to others. Fortunately I have learned that there is great power in being able to freely admit my wrongs with humility when confronted with them. People find it very disarming when you are quick to see their point. A lot of times they will start back tracking, thinking they put it on to thick because they expected you to argue. Agree to their criticism quickly if it is true and they will probably end up complementing you. Argue with them and you are asking for hurt feelings.
2007-03-16 01:14:04 · answer #2 · answered by YahooGuru2u 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
when i get criticized the first thing that happens is I feel my heart go "boom". I get a big crushed feeling along with it.
However, the slightest second after that, I try to really decipher what is being said to me. Its really easy for me to break it down into constructive criticism. After all, i'm not perfect, I do have my flaws. I usually don't get criticized by strangers, so in the past it has usually came from a family member or long time friend. That is why I take it as being constructive. I try to see what they are seeing in me.
Now, if a person is just plain being offensive, then my reaction is to stand up for myself and make it a point to make sure that person feels like a big idiot before I walk away. I usually don't run in to these types of situations, but have been vocal when they have happened to me in the past.
2007-03-12 22:43:04 · answer #3 · answered by Deu 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It really depends on who is criticizing me.
For example- Unfortunately for my husband, I am quick to defend myself only because it hurts coming from someone you love so dearly. I later think about it and will talk to him again after I had some time to myself to ponder the criticism. By that point, I either owe an apology or have my boxing gloves on. LOL!
But yet if my best friend of twenty something years criticizes me, I listen and try to think about it. Maybe because she is the same sex or the amount of years we know each other...I don't know.
If my boss would criticize me, I usually just would listen and try to fix whatever the problem was (after I snickered a bit to myself). After all she was the one holding my paycheck, She's the boss. She was the owner so I was hired to do what she needed me to do and how she wanted me to do it.
2007-03-16 00:57:13 · answer #4 · answered by Fancy You 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If its work related, I listen to the criticism & thank the person for their input. If its valid, I change what needs changing. If I don't agree, I don't (I had that option in my job).
I don't doubt myself. We all make mistakes and we can all improve ourselves. I don't get defensive, offensive or go into a shell. I consider carefully what has been said.
Outside the job: It depends on the criticism & who's giving it. If I think its rude or inappropriate, I just ignore it. I don't get mad; we're all entitled to our opinions. I don't criticize unless asked (except on here).
2007-03-13 04:15:34 · answer #5 · answered by Judith 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It totally depends on the situation. When my abusive father would criticize me I would invert. When I'm at work or with friends and I can see the criticizing constructive I invite it but when my husband criticizes me I go on the defense.
2007-03-12 22:42:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
If the critisism isn't overly harsh I would say I go into a shell and listen to what the person is saying to me and then walk away. If it is extremely harsh critisism i would defend myself, but would find myself doubting.
2007-03-12 22:46:25 · answer #7 · answered by marlyn 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I tend to get defensive quickly because whatever it is I am being accused of, I know the other person is wrong...
I do not start fights, so if someone attacks me, I know they are out of line...
2007-03-13 02:06:21 · answer #8 · answered by aspenkdp2003 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think its natural to become defensive. But maturity tells you to think first..
2007-03-12 22:43:20 · answer #9 · answered by Lori B 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i immediately go into retaliation mode with a frenzy of words, sometimes they are strong and over powering and sometimes they are harsh and vicious.
2007-03-12 22:45:41 · answer #10 · answered by who me? 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋