The problem with my daughter is that she likes to be held and rocked before putting her to sleep. And even when I do put her down she starts to cry and I have no choice but to pick her up again. I need some suggestions or tips to break this cycle. Thanx!
2007-03-12 15:29:31 · 12 answers · asked by Denise 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
What you describe is not a problem nor a cycle to break. What you are describing is the normal natural sleep behavior of infants. Check out other primates - we are primates, too, you know. NO OTHER PRIMATE EVEN PUTS THEIR INFANTS DOWN!!!!! Babies need to be with their mommies. Even at night.
Now you think you have a problem ONLY if you accept society's very strange ideas about infants sleeping alone (being alone is terrifying to an infant for obvious reasons - and in this terror, their brain floods with the stress hormone cortisol. Cortisol not only impairs learning, but increases anxiety and depression risk. Also, it is now demonstrated that babies left to cry grow into adults who cannot handle stress.
If you realize that your daughter is normal and needs to be held - actually, she needs to be nursed to sleep and to sleep with you. She NEEDS that. Anything less she copes with. Anything less is a compromise. Anything less hurts her.
Anything less drives you crazy because it is not natural and normal and she will fight it with all the strength she has.
And, if at the end of the day, she loses, she's forced to abandon her needs and conform to the bizarre, detachment-inducing ideas of american/english parenting, then she loses confidence in her ability to change things for the better in her life. And she loses confidence that you care about her.
So, stop trying to make the crazy thing work and hold her until she sleeps and let her sleep with you. It's normal, it's natural, it's her birthright, it works.
2007-03-12 15:39:16 · answer #1 · answered by cassandra 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She's still quite young for any kind of routine. My daughter is now 9 weeks... and I'm still having the same problem as you. She just seems to be a high needs baby. My son was completely the opposite, so I'm finding myself very frustrated. I feel once they reach the 3 month mark... then it's safe to let them cry it out to adjust to soothing themselves. In the meantime, just tell yourself that this is short-lived... and pretty soon you'll be able to teach her. Have you tried letting her cry for about 5 minutes? That sometimes is all they need to get their frustrations out... and fall asleep. You can also try swaddling her. I used the "Miracle Blanket" with my son and it worked like a charm. My daughter hasn't taken to it so well... but I'm not giving up.
Just know that this will soon pass. If all else fails... let her sleep next to you. It's the warmth and smell of you she wants. That's what I'm doing with my daughter for now. Makes nursing much easier too.
Good luck and hang in there.
2007-03-12 22:39:13 · answer #2 · answered by VixenMom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not going to be much help on breaking the cycle but I rocked my son to sleep at every nap during the day and every night till he was 6 months old. When he was able to hold his own bottle he didn't want to be held any more. We put him in his crib with his bottle and blanket and since then goes to sleep on his own.
I think that maybe they need to do it on their own. That may sound funny but she may still need your touch to feel secure, she is only 4 weeks. Don't try to rush on getting a schedule for your baby or think your spoiling her. She needs you, especially now.
2007-03-12 22:38:38 · answer #3 · answered by Carmen M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At 4 weeks you can put your baby on a routine. It's perfectly normal for a baby to cry some before falling asleep. She'll eventually find a way to sooth herself. I was really against a passy when mine was young but I caved. That's what she needed to sooth herself. There's lots of remedies and different approaches. It really depends on your baby and you. Pediatricians will tell you to put her down and walk away...let her cry. I had a hard time with that, but had to do that a few times and it broke my heart, but in the long run, it all works out. We had our little girl on our schedule at 4wks and looking back it wasn't that difficult. Having a full tummy really helps for night time bed time as well.
2007-03-12 22:57:24 · answer #4 · answered by PAB 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I did this with my baby and it worked miracles i would wrap my baby up firmly before rocking her to sleep and when i would put her down like that she doesnt notice. Shes now four months and all I need to do is wrap her like she is being held and she sleeps quietly. Try it, It might work.
2007-03-12 22:36:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
With my middle daughter, she was my rocking baby, we put her in her bed and began patting her back. Then we'd sing silly songs to her. Eventually she got use to the change. It takes time though. She's 6 now and if I rock her even a bit, she's droopy eyed..lol. I'm a mom to 3
2007-03-12 22:33:34 · answer #6 · answered by Melanie A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i know a lot of people may not agree with this.. especially your doctor.. but i was raised old school and at a month old.. we put a teaspoon of cereal in the babies bottle and the baby slept all night. You have to realize.. ur baby is a newborn. Give her some time and before you know it you will be able to put the baby down and get some rest.. They enjoy the warmth of your body/ breasts.. hold her if she needs it.
2007-03-12 22:37:37 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
See www.askdrsears.com. Buy a sling, co-sleep. Get over the idea that the baby is supposed to sleep in a cage in another room. She wants to be with you and sleep with you because that's the way nature intended it.
2007-03-12 22:34:25 · answer #8 · answered by Jen F 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's a newborn, hold her. Swaddle her, feed her the night time bottle and hold her till she sleeps. Rock her, it will make her feel secure.
2007-03-12 22:41:58 · answer #9 · answered by Sunshine 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
shes a baby she needs comfort and care while making her falling asleep...put some comforting music for her maybe it will help...good luck
2007-03-12 22:34:40 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋