Is this a sentence? As a shy and fragile young woman, born with a crippled leg, Mabel struggles to gain self confidence in life. Is this a good thesis/topic sentence for a one paragraph open response question?
2007-03-12 15:19:14 · 4 answers · asked by soso123845 2 in Education & Reference ➔ Words & Wordplay
Blech! That sentence sounds awful. Try making it two sentences or shorter. Also, the tense is off. If you wanted it as a thesis, try "is struggling" or struggled. "In life" is unnecessary as it is implied. Why not just use "struggles to gain self confidence"? You could lose the "shy and fragile young woman" bit and put it in the next sentence. It will help you fill up the paragraph.
2007-03-12 16:41:34 · answer #1 · answered by skip_pingstone 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
It's pretty good.
A couple of things:
lose the comma after woman
possibly mention how she struggles (as a thesis, overview what will be said in the rest of the paragraph)
Good luck.
2007-03-12 23:04:02 · answer #2 · answered by Cari 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it's a sentence, and it would be a good topic sentence.
2007-03-12 22:26:37 · answer #3 · answered by yahoohoo 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah, it's a really good one! ;)
2007-03-12 22:26:34 · answer #4 · answered by FAswimmerST 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋