How do couples justify watching porn together?

Question

Just curious to see how you all feel about this. If you think it's ok or not.

Personally I can't justify it, because I think it's wrong. I think personally that women can get the impression from it that their husband isn't satisfied with them, that they are not good enough for them that they need to have that extra.

Just interested in what you all think about this.

But why watch it? If you and your spouse love each other, why the need for porn?

I don't need it to get in the mood, or to get ideas. It's called use your own imagination.

Check out this site, it's got alot of good facts about the effects of porn, especially in a marrige.

www.lifechurch.tv

I guess, I'm just a strange guy who feels that he doesn't need porn to have a satisfying sex life. Because there's no reason that I should be fantasizing about a woman I'll never meet, and even more important that I'm NOT married to.

I'm satisfied with my wife, and don't need porn, to spice things up. We are happy with each other, and we don't need that garbage.

My feeling is that great sex starts between the ears before it starts between the legs, because I turn away from all that garbage and focus on my wife. She's the ONLY woman who deserves any sexual thoughts I have. She's the ONLY woman I even think about sexually, because all that other garbage out there, is 1 more distraction that can take my attention from her. And she deserves my FULL attention.

Here's my justification to stay away from it. It goes against the teachings of God. God created sex to be between a husband and wife, and I view even looking at porn as cheating, because if I'm looking at porn, I'm taking that attention away from my wife.

In Proverbs 5:3,4: The lips of an immoral woman are as sweet as honey, and her mouth is smoother than oil. But the result is as bitter as poison, sharp as a double-edged sword.

Also in Prov. 5:18-20: Let your wife be a fountain of blessing for you. Rejoice in the wife of your youth. She is a loving doe, a graceful deer. Let her breasts satisfy you ALWAYS. May you ALWAYS be captivated by her love. Why be captivated with an immoral woman, or embrace the breasts of an adulterous woman?

Plain and simple, to me, even viewing porn, is adultery.

Answer 1

I don't watch porn with my husband, we don't need outside influences to make us hungry for sex with each other....neither do we need an appetizer to turn us on to one another.....I think people are playing with fire by bringing third parties into their relationship...I get sick to death of stupid women who label non porn watchers as un-exciting, that's such a load of bull.

If they wish to have their guys watching porn that's their business but they should keep their comments to themselves without finding out all the facts first.

I don't think it generates a lot of respect for either party in a relationship to be slobbering at the mouth over someone they're not married to or in a long term relationship with.....

I also think it shows women in a cheap light just here on the planet as mens sex pass times, we're made up of more than **** & butts.....but that's my opinion...everyone's entitled to their own

we've made our own films anyhow, much more exciting than watching others plus the whole fun was making them....if you don't lack an imagination then you don't need to be looking for ideas from others anyway......

Answer 2

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Answer 3

How do couples justify sticking a carrot up each other's butts? How do couples justify dildos and vibrators? How do couples justify fruit leather panties? How do couples justify whipped cream? How do couples justify music? And candlelights? And foreplay?

I mean, it's all extra to straight missionary sex. By your logic aren't you sending the message, "I only love you if you are wearing edible panties, playing music, lighting a candle, and sporting a carrot up your a s s ?"

If both partners want to do anything legal and consensual, then ABSOLUTELY NO JUSTIFICATION IS NEEDED.

Does your woman satisfy your EVERY SINGLE sexual need and craving and desire and urge, or do you still masturbate now and then? Don't you find that hypocritical?

Time to expand your view of who you are and what sex means to you. You are living in a fantasy world that is almost impossible to maintain.

Answer 4

There is nothing wrong with it, if the two people involved don't have a problem with it. My husband and I watch porn together on occasion. We like it and that is all that is important.

You see the world from your perspective and we see it from ours. And neither the two shall meet. I'm glad you feel the way you do, but does that really give you the right to piss in our cheerios if we don't feel the same way?

That is the difference, I don't believe in your God. I think (in general) it is a bunch of hooey. Therefore your justification means nothing to me, just like the people who told you they don't have a problem with porn, their justification means nothing to you.

Answer 5

Watching two people enjoy themselves is a turn on. It gives you ideas. Honey I want you to do that to me etc. It is a bonding thing and there is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of someone else. Variety is the spice of life. It doesn't mean you have to act on it. If someone is that immature that they get jealous over a porn movie they are no fun to begin with. People that are truly secure with themselves won't get uptight about porn movies.

Answer 6

I've watched porn with mu husband a couple of times (my idea) and I don't see anything wrong with it. I didn't in the least feel that my husband thought something was missing and I needed to do more or something different. Nor did he.

Answer 7

my girl and i love watching porn together. it is foreplay. it gets the motor running and we end up having amazing sex all night long. watching porn is not about wanting to be with other women it is voyeurism. you cant touch any of the women you just get to watch. then your woman is right there ooo baby. if you are not both voyeurs then it probably wont have a positive effect on your sex life.

Answer 8

It gives you ideas. Plus its a turn on. If it becomes a substitute for a healthy sex life with your partner it can be bad. But if you both enjoy it together it can be fun. My husb watched it a lot by himself when I was late in my pregnancy and afterwards when I couldnt do anything for a while. I didn't like it much, but he relieved his tension without cheating.

Answer 9

Justify?

We have to "justify" it to you?

OK....here we go.

I'm 57 yrs. old, we've been happily married for 36 years. Our sex life has always been hot and satisfying, but more than that, it has been full.

If you learn anything in life, understand that when it comes to things like sex, music, food, wine, art, there is no accounting for taste...or fetish.

No one can tell you - or should tell you - what is best or what is inferior. That's for YOU to decide.

I'll just tell you what we know and enjoy.

First, let's refer to it as erotica. Porn is just a pejorative term, and what I would call the "cheaply made stuff."

Erotica has been around for thousands of years. It began as painting, sculpture and poetry, and eventually evolved into literature, photography, acting, and video.

Erotica is simply an alternative form of sexual arousal; it is harmless fantasy and nothing more.

Regarding fantasy, Helen Fisher ("The First Sex," Ballantine Books, Feb. 2000) says that 71 percent of men and 72 percent of women fantasize while having sex with a partner. Men fantasize about conquest and domination, women about submission and surrender.

Dr. Joyce Brothers says, "It might relieve some of your guilt to know that many happily married individuals who have no thought or intention of ever betraying their spouse have sexual fantasies about someone other than their spouse."

Both men and women (single and in a relationship) have shown a desire to enjoy erotica in some form.

Women should take note that there is a very successful series of erotic anthologies called "Herotica." The stories are all written by female authors - not male!

The latest estimates are that Americans now spend somewhere around $10 billion a year on adult entertainment, which is as much as they spend attending professional sporting events, buying music or going out to the movies.

The erotic industry employs in excess of 12,000 people in California. And in California alone, it accounts for $36 million in taxes every year.

Comcast, the nation's largest cable company, pulled in $50 million from adult programming, and an adult spokesperson estimated that DirecTV pulls in a few hundred million annually.

Hilton, Marriot, Hyatt, Sheraton and Holiday Inn all offer adult films on in-room pay-per-view television systems. And they are purchased by a whopping 50 percent of their guests, accounting for nearly 70 percent of their in-room profits. One hotel owner said, "We have to have it. Our guests demand it.”

There are well over 800 million rentals of adult videotapes and DVDs in video stores across the country, and that's not 800 guys renting a million tapes each.

As long as a partner is taking care of his/her obligations and responsibilities (job, family) and seeing that the other person is being fulfilled sexually, there is absolutely NOTHING wrong with enjoying alternative forms of arousal.

Too often, a woman's reaction to their partner enjoying erotica is one of offense; their sexual identity is somehow threatened; believing that their partner's arousal and satisfaction should come exclusively from their vagina/mouth/hand. That is sad.

There are men in this world that are totally threatened by women's sex toys (vibrators, dildos, etc.), feeling that a woman (their wife, gf) should receive pleasure only from THEM. That is just pathetic. They have some serious self-image/penis issues to deal with.

And then, there are many couples such as ourselves that enjoy a mature, fully-developed sex life.

If a couple feels fulfilled sexually, the relationship is not at risk or threatened by erotica.

If you feel that erotica threatens your relationship, perhaps there are other issues you need to address.

Watch it or don't watch it. Read it or don't read it. That's up to you, but it is not evil in and of itself.

Resist the urge to blame an object for a problem in society.

The "problem" is not erotica, not liquor, not trans-fat.

The "problem" is that some people possess moderation and self-control, and some never will.

Answer 10

There is nothing to justify....you both enjoy it or you don't....its that simple. Some couples both get turned on by it....others don't. Some like hard porn....others soft or amateur porn.