do men really get hosed in divorces with kids?

Question

i just watched one of them daytime court shows......it featured a divorced couple in the "typical" pose: the father is the defendant and the mother is on the plaintiff side with the underage children. the debate was money for private school, she enrolled the children and wanted him to pay. his defense was he was being drained, and he provided somewhat decent evidence to support. he was paying child support (which was 300 a mo a kid for 3 kids and hes a line cook, seems high) and seeing his kids regularly (she was obstructing him, he says).he was ordered to pay half, even tho she made more money than him and was married to a foot doctor. it seems this is a classic scenerio. it would seem men would have to leave the country just to have a life. im not well versed in court cases so im askingyou, do men really get hosed in divorces with kids?

i cant believe how complacent everyone is about this. so in addition to ridiculous child support and games played by the mom, the poor guy has to pay more and more and more........doesnt seem right

Answer 1

Many of our cartoons are based upon what we see in society Many have seen the cartoons about an ex wife leaving divorce courts with "everything" her husband use to own. Even the joke about the divorce Barbie costing many times more then the others because it comes with Ken's house, his car, his boat...

These are only "funny" because there is often truth in them.

I know of a few men who have owned houses outright, when they were married. These men lost these houses in a divorce a few years down the road. (Leading to the "joke" about why women are called "house keepers"...they keep the house.

There is another major considerations. It is well known that the suicide rate for men escalates in the event of a divorce. It is assumed that these men cannot take losing their wife. This is a myth. It is not the lost of the relationship with their wife they cannot handle, it is the lost of all contact with their CHILDREN coupled with the lose of everything else they may have worked for all of their lives.

Men are often in a catch 22. If they work 40 hours a week, he does not support his family, if he works 60 hours, he is neglecting their needs.

Women gain full custody of the children in the far majority of contested child custody cases. This is in spite of the fact that they do 2/3’s of all child abuse. They are often given hefty child support in the process, often more then the father can afford. Often these dads are not even able to see their children for years after the divorce, but they had better keep that child support payments up.

One of the reasons for this gross inequity is thanks to the Violence Against Women Act, which rewards women for being a “victim” of domestic violence without one shred of evidence that she was. The VAWA is a billion dollar a year tax supported program for the abuse industry which only provides help for HALF the abused people. It encourages divorce and it assures the divorce will be just as you asked about in this question…it will be one sided.

Is there any wonder why so many men and often their families are angry? Is it not time to value all of our people? It is it not time to not only put a blind fold on justice..but to put a cloths pin on her nose so she can not smell the genders too…so that perhaps we can get equal justice for all?

One simple thing that will help….STOP no fault divorce! Place the burden on the person responsible for a marriage breakup be it the man or the woman.

Automatic EQUAL custody has also been shown to stop most of the divorces because it should mean equal provision for the children and equal time in parenting. Neither parent should be made to be a visitor to their children unless there is proven…not alleged but proven child abuse.

We have seen many of these one sided divorces as the director of Shattered Men. I also know that at times, it is the woman who gets the short end of the stick.

Above all else, the best way to resolve a conflict with other people, is to have a right relationship with our creator first.

Answer 2

Yes, many women use this as sort of a golden meal ticket and a free ride through life. The joke is on her though however when the kids turn 18 and the checks suddenly stop.

Answer 3

As a general rule, unless the mother is Charles Manson incompetent, yes.

Answer 4

All the time.

Answer 5

Sometimes.