My sister is considering divorcing her husband because she has reason to believe that he is cheating on her. The question is, what are the laws regarding divorce? If she initiates the divorce proceedings, can she get alimony from him? And how does his adultery factor in...does she have to have proof? She was told by a friend that it doesn't matter about the circumstances, that whoever is making the most money has to pay the other alimony. How does all of this work? Any insight into this would be much appreciated. Thanks. We live in NC by the way, if that helps any.
2007-03-12 13:27:38 · 16 answers · asked by Antecedent 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Just to clarify a couple of points. My sister is totally disabled and cannot work. She is currently waiting to be accepted for full disability benefits. So yes, he makes ALOT more money than she does and he always will. As far as her suspicions, she has found phone numbers for other females and even directions off the internet to one of their houses. Go figure...
2007-03-13 06:27:14 · update #1
Well, I live in NC and I was going through the same things as your sister. I had a feeling he was cheating, people were telling me he was cheating and I didn't believe them. So I prayed and asked God to show me. And He did and my husband was cheating. Let's just say, if she has a feeling,9 times out of 10 he is and she better get out now. Good for me though, he didn't have anything, so I did initiate the divorce and I have sole custody of our daughter. Since NC is a no-fault state when it comes to divorce, I would think that it would be in her best intrest to get pics, phone conversations, etc. She should also know that if she does get proof, she can sue the homewrecker that messed up her marriage! She should be discreet when gettting information, then tell her to take him to the cleaners!!
P.S.-- She may want to get a private investigator. But please tell her to remain calm and act normal or he will figure it out.
2007-03-12 13:57:09 · answer #1 · answered by happygrl2k4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Divorce is a really big deal Ante. Your sister has reason to believe, but no real proof. That seems a little immature to be divorcing someone that she promised to stay with until death. IF he is having an affair...well the story changes. Part of what is wrong in this country today is the problem in your sister's marriage; lack of communication. We talk at each other; not to each other. Your sister should consider couples counseling before divorce. Now for the alimony part. Unless New York is just way out there, people don't really get alimony any more. An adult is expected to make their own way. Child Support is another topic entirely. Do they have children? Please tell me no. Your sister can get free legal advice from the prosecuting attorney in your county or Parrish or through Legal Aid usually. Check around. Bottom line is that divorcing is a very painful process. If she loves this man it should be a very last option. Counseling can help. People make mistakes that can be fixed. Giving up is too easy. Have her consider the things that may have caused him to cheat, if in fact he did. Is he going through a crisis? I wish you all the best of luck and hope your sister can get resolution. Take care. Nana
2007-03-12 13:36:37 · answer #2 · answered by nanawnuts 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nowadays, divorces no longer really need a reason. So adultery has nothing to do with anything other than being a word used for reason. I mean the judge really doesnt care if he cheated or not and will not hold it against him. So it doesnt matter who files for it as to the outcome. If he makes more than she does chances are she will get spousal support from him. Now there is always the chance that if the judge senses something that this marriage could be saved, he could order both of you for counseling and defer the divorce on down the road. Marital assets will be divided equally as well as marital bills, unless an agreement can be reached outside of the court and is acceptable to the judge. Also you dont really need an attorney if the divorce is uncontested and especially if the terms can be reached outside the court, just make sure the agreement is notorized and everything is covered and nothing hidden. Hire a Paralegal to do the paperwork if necessary as its a whole lot cheaper and just as good. Good luck
2007-03-12 14:00:16 · answer #3 · answered by Arthur W 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well as far as the cheating is concerned yes i would think u have to have proof no judge will just take her word for it as for as the alimony that depends on the number of years and most times unless the woman makes alot less than the man and they've been married for a long number of years she doesnt get it ....... now days women can make a good living for themselves without a man not like it was back in the 50's and 60's so why should she get alimony when she can work for herself
2007-03-12 13:32:44 · answer #4 · answered by Robert C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends on her age and needs if she gets alimony. NC is a no fault divorce state so adultery will only matter if she has proof and sues the female for alienation of affection.
She should take pictures of everything they own after marriage. This will be good to have when they go to equitable distribution court.
Here is a great site about NC divorce laws.
http://www.rosen.com/site_map.htm
good luck to her.
2007-03-12 13:33:51 · answer #5 · answered by ncgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She should consult an attorney in NC. Many will provide an initial consultation free of charge. I found a website that provides some information: http://www.rosen.com/alimony/
I do not live in NC so I have no first hand knowledge. However, I think she would need solid evidence that her spouse is cheating before it could be used in court. Good luck to your sister.
2007-03-12 13:42:30 · answer #6 · answered by Maiden Fair 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most states do not award alimony any longer. If your sister is able bodied and in good health the court might award her six months of spousal support in order for her to find a job. Adultery is no longer gounds for divorce unless it is coupled with PROVEN physical/emotional/mental abuse. Then it would go under the "heading" of cruelty. I suggest the first thing she do is get a job then go see a lawyer.
2007-03-12 16:18:10 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A freedom or a correct is a state granted permission to do some thing interior a particular potential that they later set with courtroom circumstances. that's a funny tale. All of politics is a funny tale. Telling someone they're allowed to be loose isn't real freedom and is even worse being a finished perversion of what a correct or freedom truly is.
2016-12-01 21:59:55 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Best thing you can do is advise your little sister, who is grown up now, to get some counseling from a counselor or lawyer and back the heck out. If this things works out and they pull through it you will be mud in his eye forever. You are already pretty close now and I would back out of it in the fast lane. You can be there for your sister if she decides to go through with it. But for now let her make up her mind on her own. She is a big girl and will figure it out by herself. You could be the one that loses the most if you get in too deep!
2007-03-12 13:50:41 · answer #9 · answered by oskkid 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Adultery is grounds in New York but I urge your friend to get proof. I also urge her to be Very sure he even is, there may just eb other problems going on.
Here is a link I found this lawyer goes over some of the grounds permitted in NY right on his page.
http://www.kohtzlaw.com/nydivorce.jsp
2007-03-12 13:31:49 · answer #10 · answered by Betsy 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋