We are a couple in our mid-twenties in age, so I can understand wanting to be "out and about." However, my husband is always over his friend's house or he is gone to shoot pool, watch "the game", etc... I can always call his cell and he does answer; I always know where he is. Cheating is not an issue. It's just that I wish he wanted to spend more time with me and our 5 year old son. Am I overreacting? He always comes home at a decent time--it's just that he is gone more than he is at home. He says, "at least you always know where I am!" Compared to some other relationships that I know, he is right. However, I still want what I want and that is for my husband to be home more often. I hang out with my friends probably once every one or two weeks. He hangs out with his 5 or 6 times a week! Am I making too big of an issue out of this--meaning--do couples usually have bigger problems to worry about? He is a wonderful husband and father otherwise.
2007-03-12 13:24:33 · 16 answers · asked by E 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
well Normally I would agree with you but you know where he is at and he is not cheating, Did he hang out with his friends before you were married if yes then you knew what you were getting into. give him space r he will end up leaving or cheating
2007-03-12 13:35:07 · answer #1 · answered by iseemen 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
You are not overreacting at all. A young married man in his twenties should not be behaving like a single person. He sounds like he is very immature, and needs to grow up.
A husband who is away from his wife and five year old son is not much of a husband, and not as wonderful as a husband and father as you would like to think.
He may just be a bit immature, and this is his way of dealing with his responcibilities, but he is really just trying to run away.
You need to sit down with him and have a serious talk and tell him that you need to be spending more time together as a family.
You should be going out as a couple at least once every two weeks, and I mean having a real "date," which means hiring a babysitter, and having an entire evening to yourselves.
Many couples may have bigger problems, but this could become worse and worse as time goes on.
Best of luck to you both, you need to be a happy couple in order to be the best parents to your son.
Have a good night.
2007-03-12 21:58:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sue F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not to sound like a smart a**, but I think your confused about what a good Father and husband are. Sounds more like he's a good provider. A good husband and Father would spend quality time with his family, not be selfish and spend it with his buddies. If he's gone from home almost every night (which 5-6 times a week would be) he can't be spending much time with you and his child. Sounds like he's got some growing up to do.
2007-03-12 20:35:13 · answer #3 · answered by sharpeilvr 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
No, you're not making too much of it. If he were out one night a week, it would be ok but anything more than a night or two is excessive for a man who is supposed to be a husband and, especially, a father. It sounds like he wants to still live like a single guy.
2007-03-12 20:31:21 · answer #4 · answered by Schleppy 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
honey if he's never home he cant be a very good husband or father spending 5 or 6 nights a week with his friends is way to much a married man's place is at home with his family its way past time to give up hanging out with his friends all the time ........ say maybe once a week is plenty its time he grew up and realized he's a married man now and has a wife and child and that's where his time should be spent
2007-03-12 20:29:16 · answer #5 · answered by Robert C 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hanging out with friends 5-6 times a week is TOO much!!!!!! I wouldn't describe him as a "wonderful" husband/father if he is out so much.
2007-03-12 23:42:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you make plans together for him to spend time with you? It's good that you understand his need to have friendships and hang out with his buddies. Just ask him if next week, he'll spend such and such days with you and then he can do whatever he wants the rest of the time. Explain to him why you need this. If he cares at all about your family, it should work!
2007-03-12 20:29:41 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
How can he be wonderful honey?
he is never home...that's not wonderful
First you HAVE to face reality.
get out of denial.
see him for what he is.
Now...you have to do something...if you love him...get help.
if he does not want to be a husband or father....there are plenty of men out there that do.
Tell him softly...never never yell...it does nothing...when you yell.
well...really it hurts you and the kids.
He has no right living the way he is...he IS wrong no matter what you do.
Marriage is work.
welcome to the paaarty.
make plans to visit a marriage councilor.
Don't focus on the cheating thing.
because if he is...he is.
Just focus on getting out...or getting help.
2007-03-12 20:44:14 · answer #8 · answered by Bobbie4u 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting. If it bother's you than its a problem since he is laying all the responsibility on you. You have to put him in check because that is way too lopsided. He should be considerate enough to involve you in some fun as well. You are not making a big deal.
2007-03-12 20:36:35 · answer #9 · answered by Need Answers 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What I can't understand hwy he would rather be at his friends house all the time, when he has a hot and sexy woman at teh house who is oosing womanhood off her delicious body. ANd he's no where to be found, oh that's right at his friend's house. WOW can't believe you falling for the hipe of him answering and telling you where he's at all the time. Wonder why he's not at home then. I know I would be?
2007-03-12 20:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tell him you and him have a child to raise. But he still may want his friend time, and thats ok, but you still need time to go out with your friends. And you and your husband also need to spend time together with you son. It also depends what his job is.
2007-03-12 20:29:44 · answer #11 · answered by Abbey 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋