Help...I am so bored with my life....!?

Question

I am in my 30s and married with a 4 yr old. I have no friends, only coworkers, and they all seem to have their little cliques. Motorcycle season is coming and this brings depression since hubby is out on his bike as he pleases and I am home with kid all the time. I work, come home, feed and bathe kid, play on computer or watch TV, and go to bed. I cannot see living the rest of my life like this. It sucks! I can't even squeeze in any exercise and am getting squishy! I love my kid, but dislike kids in general so play groups are out. I used to go dancing all the time, but now only once or twice a month when kid stays at grandmas, and hubby gripes about going with me, yet doesn't like me going by myself. I envy the freedom hubby has to do as he pleases, and wish I could go too, but we can't afford a babysitter. I long to be someone besides "mom" once in a while. Hubby doesnt like being stuck home with kid, but I am supposed to? Heck I wouldnt have anywhere to go even if I could! Ideas plz?

Answer 1

me too, thats why Im on this website........ you need a holiday away from hubby and child, and if he dont like it, leave him you sound as though you are not happy where you are and what you have.

Answer 2

I sometimes feel like I'm in the same situation, only I'm the husband and my wife doesn't own a motorcycle.

I think what you are feeling is somewhat natural. It's tough to go from a life when its just you and your spouse to a relationship to having the awesome responsibility of a child. No matter how much people tell you its an adjustment, it's difficult to comprehend it until you go through it.

What has helped me somewhat is the following:

1. I go to the local high school and swim at 5:00 AM 3x/week. It's not the most desirable time in the world, but it is a time that I can be guaranteed to have just to myself before I go to work. It also helps with the "squishiness".

2. I play soccer once a week, usually at night (indoor during the winter or weekend days). Even though I don't socialize a lot with the people there, it does give me the sense of being out and doing something.

3. I take great pride in being a good father. Even though it has come at the cost of some of my free/leisure time, I know it is the most important job a human being can do. Granted, that doesn't always take away the boredom, but it does help me to cope with some of those moments.

4. I try to take advantage of some of the people I do meet. I do have people that I know (coworkers, friends of kids, people at my church, etc) that have common interests. I try to find ways to fit them into the things I like to do. For example, the father of my daughter's friend is from the Netherlands, so I try to have him over to watch soccer games.

5. It's time to get a balance with your husband. It's great that he can come and do as he pleases, but you deserve some time, too. Once you have the time, you can figure out what to do with it.

I wish you well.

Answer 3

Hubby needs to get a grip and take his turn with your child. He is a jerk if he leaves you alone all the time and goes off with his buddies- to do what? Tell him you want equal time. He goes out once a week and so do you with him or without him. Go to a movie, out to lunch with a coworker or an old friend, volunteer and do that once a week, go shopping even for little stuff like lipstick or slippers, take a walk to work off some squishiness, ride a bike, go to a gym, anything even the library but get out of the house and away from your kid. If your husband doesn't agree,babysit for extra income and then use it on yourself alone. And think hard about hiow selfish he is. Hope it helped a bit.

Answer 4

You should definitely find a hobby/class/ something you enjoy doing. Maybe you can get into a dancing class, yoga, pilates. It would be fun and you'll meet other women there :)
To have this time, you need someone to take care of baby, so here is what you could do:

1) Talk to husband. Tell him you need some time to go out, and since he has bike rides, you want a hobby too. And he should support you and for 3 hrs a week you are going to your class/hobby/whatever. Be calm when talking to him. He probably has no idea how much you need this, and will never understand if you are not calm.

2) Just hear me out for a second here :) Reconsider play groups. Your kid will enjoy it, develop better social skills since he is interacting with kids, and the most important thing for your question: If you get a group of 4 moms, maybe you can take turns. One week in your house, they all play. Next week in someone elses house, etc. So when it's someone elses turn, you have some time for yourself :) Plus you get to get to know better these women who are probably bored too.
Maybe you can even have both the kids and the moms over, and kids play while you girls talk/play cards/something.

Good luck.

Answer 5

Can you afford studying part-time or by correspondance, I really want to inspire you: a single mom with a child, studied full time diploma in children's services and finished last year her early childhood bachelor degree at university of western sydney. I am not saying do this course, but the process or the general idea is actually studying for the sake of yourself and your own child.
there is other courses that you can study from home, such as psychology, real state, or business courses, inerior design and many other courses. see a college counsellor.
Try to put your child in a family day care because it is cheaper then child care centre, and do full-time or part-time study at a college. I have a mother of 5 children in my course, she is now ready to finish this semestre he diploma, and other single moms.

there are courses in australia for women to go back to workforce. I don't know about your country.
tell your husband: you want to do evening courses when he goes back home, he can take charge of your child, he needs his father too, father image is important in a child's life.

Answer 6

Poor woman, have you thought of the times before you got married? What he likes to do? Well, work on it and rekindle the flame, don't sound so miserable my dear, look on the bright side. You are lucky to have a son to play with, not only that it is also very good for you to groom your son up now ( babies absorb most the first six years) If you manage him well, he will grow up very intelligent.Don't you want that? Nobody says it is easy to be a good wife. Good luck and best wishes to you.

Answer 7

ASK to best friend to look after the kid

Then -you must be horny - otherwise will not work out -
Take a shower - clean you self really good - lotion all your body with the best smelly perfume - lotion that you have secretly keep -

You must have lotion all over your body
By now that mirror that has been worthless for year - put it in front of your bed ( kind of tilted ) so you can see every piece of your body

DO NOT turn the light down
Look your self in the mirror and slowly run your fingers into that private and neglected -reproductive sex organ - that god gave you

Answer 8

Well try finding a health club that has child care and you can go work out and feel good about yourself and also make friends too if you want to. You need to do this before you drive yourself crazy. You also need to talk with your husband and tell him he needs to cut down on going motorcycle riding unless he wants to come back to a empty house a dear john letter!!

Answer 9

well this suitation tells me that hubby wants his cake and eat it too..being a mom is a full time job.and not to be imprisoned in the house.can you throw yourself a party at your house with the coworkers??? get your child in karate class and you also join..meet new people this may sound crazy, but i believe that your hubby can be a jealous kind, and you may have to speak up for yourself and tell him how you feel about is activities..good luck and stay calm

Answer 10

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Answer 11

If you like dancing, take a dance class with other women such as belly-dancing. You will absolutely love it and form alot of friendships with other women. There are things you can do with other women where you can bring your child with you. Or swap babysitting jobs with a neighbor so you can go out and do something fun for yourself.