How to forget really about it?

Question

Some months ago one friend refused on something and that hurt me somehow not because she said it..it was not a verbal abuse but because later I found out it is not true what she said. I was hurt for some time, I didn't talk much, I was distant but because I really care for our friendship I decided to forgive her. She doesn't know, I never told her I was hurt, I did pretend everything is alright and so now everything is alright, I really consider it is not a big deal but I feel still hurt if I think about that. I want to forget about it, as it is really silly if I keep thinking on that but somehow I still recall and then I start to doubt if she really cares about our friendship or not. Actually I know she does because she is helpful and she gives encouraging advices so I want to forget because I care enough for that person..please help me how to forget about it and to look ahead.

Answer 1

I applaud your effort for "forgive and forget" without her knowledge but, with all due respect to you, you are missing an important component: Resolution WITH your friend.

The resolution you seek will come from open, honest, and a little scary conversation with the friend who hurt you -- regardless on how stupid you may feel, or what reaction you think it will receive. Deep down inside (I ask you to take a moment and consider these words), you want your friend to acknowledge her mistake and correct it. That would make you feel better in an instant.

Open, honest communication is the key to a healthy, successful relationship. Whether it be a friendship, family, co-worker, or neighbor, experience has taught me it works. Now I have to say, when you first speak about the offending topic, it may cause some ruffled feathers; however, the long term positive effects will enhance your relationship, and increase positive communication.

One of two things will happen: She will realize her error and fix it, or she will be offended that you were offended and the relationship will be damaged. HOWEVER, based on how things are going right now, the relationship IS damaged -- but it can still be repaired with effective communciation!

Think of it like a vaccination at the doctors office. The needle in your arm is slightly painful at the time, but the long term effects will be good for you AND her.

Enjoy.

Answer 2

Next time you are both alone and happy, sit her down and tell her that this certain insident upset you and why. If she really cares she would not do this kind of stuff again because she will know but she cannot read your mind and will never know if you don't tell her. Tell her you are over it now but how much it hurt. This is make you feel better, always look ahead and the future and think positively and feel the moment because we don't get that chance sometimes. Take care Heather

Answer 3

The only way to forget, is to forgive. You need to try and realize the value of your friendship. Talking things out between the two of you would definitely help get this started. I think that if you two are as good of friends as you say you are, you'll be able to work this out and know that she probably really didn't even realize how much she hurt you. Don't ever forget, but always forgive.

Answer 4

God gives us the tools to forgive and forget.. you must release it to Him. as far as telling your friend, it is never good to keep secrets even tho your friendship is good now, as you see , you are still holding on to what was said or done and not released it. until you release it to God it will only get worse.. fess up.. friendship will still be there or it was never true friendship

Answer 5

Call her up and tell her how you feel. Then start a fresh new relationship