My guy says he's in love but doesn't want to spend time together :(?

Question

Hi, :)

I've been in love before and I remember that in the first times the only thing we want is to spend as much time as possible together. Well I'm in a new relationship now and there is a new variable it's that it's long-distance.

Well I really am deeply in love and he says he's too but everyday he seems to have a good reason not to spend time together. Has to do this or that, go there, etc (I am not talking about his work here - just free time, and I am positive he has no double life).

I told him that this dind't work for me and I would rather go back to being friends but he reacted very badly and I really felt he loves me and wants to make it work.

But since then he started again his 'busy' style. Today we spent like 10 minutes together :( What do you think people is there any valid reason for him to act like this other than not loving me or something?

Any input both on WHY and WHAT to do next would be greatly appreciated!

Thank you :)

Answer 1

Well for one why are you putting up with this abuse, because that's what it is. HEy tell him you spend more time with me or hit the bricks. IF he's in love with you as he tells you, he shoudl try to be around you all the time, not 10 minutes. Well best thing to remember how doo you know he's not leading a double life he told you? Well I wouldn't go for it, especially if he doesn't waht to spen time with you. Sorta sounds like if he doesn't get his way, he will throw a fit, well he needs to grow up and realize that the world doesn't revlove around him. ANd also sounds like he wants to control you and what's you as someone to have on the side. But it's up to you and hope you make the right decision.

Answer 2

Yes, it's cliche, but actions speak louder than words. That means that the true thoughts and feelings of your man will rise to the surface if you analyze his actions. In this case, he's 'busy,' or so he says. It really means that he doesn't want to spend time with you.

Sounds like the classic long-distance-relationship that leaves the participants feeling a little trapped. I know you have these deep feelings for him, and he's confessed the same, but again, I direct you to his actions. He may have said those things just to 'be sweet' in his own way. What he doesn't realize is that you take his words very seriously.

You need to just let him be. Tell him you're busy. I bet he'll come running after you for attention then, but if you were wise, you wouldn't give him the time of day. Maybe this is a big sign telling you to move on. These things happen--its ok, don't worry. ;-)

Answer 3

Well seems like hes throwing you all types of different signs. He could really love you but at the same time the person you love you cant resist and you want them to feel comftorable in the relationship. Well obviously he may have spoke a little bit too soon with the love and hes not taking it serious like you. Seems like you have expectations on what love is like and that could hurt you in the long run. So I would have a convo with him regarding your feelings and see what he thinks, if it isnt what you want then you need to kind of tear yourself away before its too late!
Good luck:)

Answer 4

Hmm...could be that he's just really nervous. A previous boyfriend of mine told me that he really loved me, and we had really good conversations on MSN and over the phone. However, he'd hardly ever meet up with me, and spend really limited time with me whenever he did. In the end, I found out that, although he really liked me, he was really nervous about meeting up because he worried he'd throw up around me due to previous things like that in the past, and that had knocked his confidence quite a bit...maybe it's something like that? :)

Answer 5

In this day and age I'd find some one else. Most that get together like to be with each other, but it sounds like he has something on the side and that does'nt include you. I'd tell it like it is and say you want to be alone with him and if he says no, then say OK you go your way and I'll go nine= we're thru.

Answer 6

I would give this guy a taste of his own mecidine he hasnt even given you an explanation play it cool with him like you dont care just the way hes been treating you it will make him sit up and relaise that you can get by without him and do better.. i wish you well...

Answer 7

My impression is that he is not as in love with you as he says he is and he doesn't really want to make it work as much as he says he does. If he loved you, he would be making the time for you and trying his best to hold onto you and convince you that he's for real, not just with words but with actions as well.

Answer 8

for goodnss sakes.....do NOT let him think you are sitting around and dwelling on the fact that he doesnt want to spend time with you.....just pretend that you are busy anyway and....make up something....yea, tell him how busy you are doing this, that or the other...and see how that works...if he cares about you then he will start to wonder what has your TIME and this will tell you if he really cares or not

Answer 9

He definitely needs space and you need to be comfortable with giving it to him. I think you are smothering the guy. Don't call him for a few weeks. Let the guy pursue you. Call him back if he calls you. You need to learn to have your own life outside of a relationship. Honestly, one date a week is reasonable.

Answer 10

Sounds like he's just not that into you. A man who was into you would want to be with you. I'd move on.