Help! My 11 yr old son is always acting up!?

Question

My son is constantly altering the truth and lying. He also has a bad habit of taking things that do not belong to him...My fiance has been with us for 3 years now and he has just had it. Any advice on how to save my family and get my son on the right path...He really loves us both but he told me he realy would like to send him to military school to straighten him up..I feel like an altamatem is coming any day to stay or go..What can I do, my fiance means the world to us...Any advice..PLease

Answer 1

I went thru this with my son, now 17. I tried the Boot Camp,when he was 13, it worked a little bit but not as much as would have liked. He latter got himself in trouble, stealing, and went to jail.
While he was there we did family counseling, during the counseling we realized that his problem with stealing seemed to follow the same patterns as an alcoholic or drug addict. So we began the 12 step program, but changed the drinking and drugging to stealing. It was the first and only thing that worked for him.
It made him realize his behave patterns and that stealing and lying were a addiction for him. And the treatment nipped them in the bud.It is hard work for the whole family, but it was well worth it.
Good Luck and hang in there

Answer 2

I am 65 years old and have 4 children - all boys. (men now LOL) Let me tell you this that I learned the hard way! When my oldest turned 11 he turned into someone I didn't know. And, sure enough, when each one of them turned 11 I didn't love them very much because of the lying and acting out. (sorry sons, I didn't say hate) Now I have grandchildren and guess what! Around 11 they were rude, unappreciative, sassy, etc., etc. I was told years and years ago it is puberty and they can't help it. Well, I lived thru it (and lucky for them they did, too. LOL). The pediatrician, the school teacher, the school guidance counselor all agree that it is a terrible age for the kids. So, ask your fiance to bear with it - perhaps he was a brat then, too. My only suggestion is to talk to his pediatrician, his teachers and the counselor at school and see if counseling would help him. Has he been tested for ADD? One grandson of mine is on medication at 12 years old because of ADD and what a great change! We just thought he was at the "run-of-the-mill brat years" but come to find out he has special needs. Good luck. I hope some of this helps you and your Honey.

Answer 3

Military school is one of the best places for boys who are ( Acting Out ) hes not happy with the way things are going in his life , its up to you to make him see that life doesnt owe him anything , the sooner the better , if not school , then take him to the nearest prison and have a day of ( this is real ) , help him understand that life can be hard , and if he choses - he can make it real hard on his self and those who love him ,, I took my 11 yr old to a day of this is real , hes changed completly ,,, good luck

Answer 4

I think you might all benefit from counseling, possibly your son would benefit to speak with the youth pastor of your church. If you don't have one find one, God can do wonderful things in our young people and at this age he needs guidance of a spiritual nature as well as positive discipline. But also re-inforce good behavior as well and praise him often. Children like to know when they are doing well not just when they do bad things.

Answer 5

Well, I am a firm believer in the death penalty for unruly children, but if that might seem too drastic for you, you could opt for my 3 part plan: Boundaries + Consistency + Discipline. Works on pretty much any species' offspring from canine to Homo sapien. If that's a bust, the military school sounds tops. Just don't ever forget, you are the adult and he is the child, so you automatically get to win by default, since you are the oldest. Kids are like dogs, or dogs are like kids, they'll get away with anything you let them. So, don't let them. Remember your B-C-D's: Boundaries + Consistency + Discipline. Boundaries + Consistency + Discipline.

Answer 6

Send him to Freedom Village. He needs discipline....don't let him walk all over you, your fiance is right. If you let him get away with stuff like that you will be visiting him in jail one day, and wondering how he got there. Fix it before it's too late.

Blessings,

Daniel

Answer 7

...WHOA!!! I don't care that he has been with you for 3 yrs. Either he accepts it and stuff but nobody should say 'military school'. you CAN'T CHOOSE YOUR FIANCE OVER YOUR SON!!! haven't you been watching any of the 'evil step-parent movies? you are going to be a family. work it out as family. you don't want to do something that will make your SON hate you for the rest of his life. those 'i understand and forgive my parents 100%' are not guaranteed!!!

Answer 8

males need a male role model. Get a strong mentor! before it is to late! And trust me, I seens many times where it is to late. Someone your son can connect to! or have your son tested for ADHD! or try couneling, you might be surprized! good luck

Answer 9

obviously if he is just starting this out of the blue there is something going on in his life that he needs to get attentin. maybe now that you and your fiance are ingaged he feels left out and that you have maybe started planning oyou wedding, try to ask him what he wants... maybe if he is asked about it he wont have to steel it adn if he knows someone wants his oppinion he wont be as eager to act out.

Answer 10

Kids only act up when they are not getting enough attention from home. Try spending some time with him and you will notice a change. But spend time with you and him only do not include your spouse.