Coming out of the closet?

Question

I'm 17 and deathly afraid to. Any suggestions?

Well all my friends know, my parents don't and I'm wondering how to tell them.

Answer 1

I can understand your fears. It is so hard to put your heart on your sleeve and hope that your parents accept you for who you are.

How do they react to homosexuality? If they seem to accept it, I would start off slowly and tell them. Be prepared for objection. If they are not accepting, I would wait a few years before telling them.

Good luck, remember you have friends supporting you.

Answer 2

There's probably really no entirely painless way to do it.

Hopefully you have very tolerant and understanding parents. That will make it easier for you. But even if your parents are extremely openminded and tolerant there will still be some heartbreak on their part, because no parent enjoys facing the reality that their child will have to endure many hardships in life.

But it's important that you do it, at the very least to your family. The longer you continue to hide your identity, the more it erodes your self-esteem and prevents you from achieving your dreams and following your passions in life, because you have to continue carrying around the baggage of all the little deceits necessary to maintain your "straight" facade. It also prevents them from helping you in following your dreams, because they won't know what the obstacle holding you back is.

If your parents are not very tolerant, I would suggest perhaps waiting until you've moved out or gone away to school. That way you at least have some separation so that things are not unbearable for you if they react adversely.

The decision of whether to come out in your career field is one you can approach at a later point. Obviously, if you're out to friends and family as a starting point, their support will make each step of the process that much easier.

Often one or both of the parents already has an inkling anyway, particularly if you haven't had any long-term relationships with the opposite sex.

Answer 3

Hi, I'm straight and only want to say two things: 1. Go for it, there are alot of straight people who are just willing to be there for you and support you so don't fear all of us (if that is the case), and 2. Talk to a trusted adult about what issues are important to you and what specifically you are afraid of for guidance. I say adult b/c when I was 17 i thought I knew it all but I didn't (sorry its true for all 17 year olds though some are more wise than others I admit - and i was at the bottom of that list :0) and I say trusted because that implies a person that both knows what they are talking about and has your best interests in mind. There are alot of support groups out there for example who have true professionals to advise you. Maybe in your life there is a family member who can do the same. Don't bounce around though hearing "street talk," you need someone who can be "trusted." Good luck and I'll see ya around.

Answer 4

I just told some of my closest friends only because I'm currently talking to someone and would rather not have them find out secondhand. I haven't told my folks yet, I think they'd take it okay, but the only reason why I'm delaying it is becuase I'd rather be in a relationship first, otherwise I believe it might be rude and its really none of their businness anyways.

Also you probably might want to refrain from telling them until your more independant.

Just my thoughts.

Answer 5

Personally, I would (and am going to) tell them once I'm 18, have a steady job, and am somewhat financially stable, just in case they can't deal with it and reject you. I doubt that will happen, but it's always nice to have a backup plan.

However, I would seriously advice you to wait until you're 18 or older. That way, it wouldn't be as weird, you know? You wouldn't be dependent upon them anymore and it would be adult to adult, not "child," or "curious teen, she'll grow out of it" to adult.

Good luck!!!!!

Answer 6

Sometimes coming out of the closet is not as bad as you think it may be. I would be honest, sit them down and talk to them. A parent does not have to agree with what you do, but they will still love you. Even being mad with you they will love you. Be honest, be yourself.

Good luck.

Answer 7

I would first suggest that you not come out until your self sufficient and independent of them financially. because in a moments notice they can throw you out with nowhere to go.
If you think they'll handle it okay then I would tell you to go ahead with your plans of telling them. If you think they'll be kinda harsh I would suggest waiting one more year to tell them. although sometimes it's not very good if they hear it through the grapevine so to speak. every time is right for coming out because you get a chance to see who really loves and adores you and who really doesn't. but be prepared. I don't think it's going to be that bad OR HARSH.
have fun with it. and remember that coming out is a life long process. you come out everywhere in little steps.

Answer 8

Now u know there will be some that don't like but, I think u will be alright just stay strong. U win some u lose some, just think whatever its going to be it will be and yes this to will pass. And everyone will soon get over it. Keepitreal!!!

Answer 9

Just try to find the right time to do it. Keep it in mind, and when an opportunity comes about, tell them.

Answer 10

i know it can be hard to tell your parents i went through it when i was younger too...my mom just laughed and said yeah right...so i just went on with my life and once again when i was about 15 years older i tried to tell her again and she said yeah right and chuckled....but i do wish you good luck and i do hope they are opened mined. But i do believe they will except this in time be patient..xo good luck