A question for mature women?

Question

Hi ladies I don’t mean to insult any of you and I ask this question in general and not just for myself but for my friends and even other women who have similar problems. We are trying to figure out the problem the Canadian/US metropolitan society seems to be plagued with. I am a 25 year old man like many others and I find it hard to have a girlfriend. Most women in big cities are very difficult to please. I am a descent guy who is employed and I am kind to others but I do not make much money nor do I drive a car just yet. What I mean by difficult is that some women have given up on being nice. Women dress up so nicely and go to nice places but focus mostly on themselves rather then coupling but NOT all women. Why do they dress sexy only to shoot men down? And why do they get together with men that treat them like dirt? I just don’t get it. Why is it that so many south American communities for example differ? They still keep to the importance of family and friends but on a deeper level. Men in general are known to have normal relations with women as apposed to cold or fake ones we have hear. Both sexes are happier and more outgoing and enjoy every day life. Why does our society have so many lonely people and is this the price we will keep on paying for our way of life? Why are descent men out of luck these days? And finally the weather is such a poor topic of conversation.
I don’t mean to ***** but this is something I believe many men can relate to and hopefully some women can understand before negatively judging this article.

Answer 1

You've recieved wonderful answers, I applaud and agree with most.
I do would like to point out that, since Life in itself is sooo expensive, we Wome are getting programmed to become self sufficient just in case we end up alone and with Kids in towe.
I don't think that even tough we're indipendant, we mean to be rude or even hateful, but with too much worries of survival, we might feel we have to screen our suitors right up front so as not to waste valuble time between, finding the right one.
Now I have to admit that the younger Croud (you're age group), has somewhere at the growing up stage, not recieved enough of teaching in the art of MANNERISM, RESPECT & HONOR.
Whenn this is lacking in a persons make up, the result is: SELFISHNESS, SHALOWNESS, and all the other not so nice BAD HABITS.
About dressing sexy, well, I'm about to change some tunes. I am a mature, independant, friendly, good looking and all around nice person but also sexy and like sexy clothes (tasteful though)
and my husband of 24yrs. likes it fine. There is nothing wrong being sexy and dress like it, it has all to do with the right Attitude.
Women/Men with low self estem have a tendency to make poor choices of partners. Also, the saying: "Opposite Attracts", well, that's true, the sad thing though is that, TOO MUCH OF OPPOSITE, is detremental. Whenn too much of opposite stays together, I've found a word to describe it : COMPATIBLE CRIPPLES , yes, that's what so many couples are today and live it.
I find that, unless all of us learn to raise our values, more and more of those unatractive behavier problems will arrise.
You seem to have a good head on you'r shoulders and a heart in the right place, don't frett, there is another saying: GOD HAS THE RIGHT KEY FOR THE RIGHT LOCK, you trust in him and he will find it for you, hang in there and God Bless.

Answer 2

Women, in America in particular, are in a period of change. Although the "women's movement" of the 1970's seems a long time ago and most young women today would rather die than call themselves feminists, we're still working out the roles and behaviors that came about as a result. Women are getting "dressed up sexy and shooting men down" because for the first time ever in our society....... they can. Please don't take this as an insult, but women are basically acting like men. I think the reason that so many women end up with men that treat them like dirt is because they go out with the attitude that they can do whatever they want and treat men however they want and that's the type of men they attract. They're both more interested in creating an atmosphere of "I don't care about anyone but myself."

I think the difference in many South American countries is that the male/female roles tend to be more traditional. I don't necessarily think that a return to more traditional roles is the answer. I personally don't want someone telling me I have to be a housewife; that would be a step backwards, but I do think there's more civility and respect there.

I'm a mature woman myself and I'm generally appalled at how young people treat each other. I know this makes me a dinosaur, but I prefer real conversation to text messages and I prefer to treat people the way I wish to be treated myself.

As for you, young man, I know there are still a few good ones out there; don't despair, you'll find one. You won't offend any "mature women" by asking an honest, respectful question like you have here. You've asked a question everyone can relate to.

Answer 3

Roger, I think you sound like a very nice young man. No, I am not going to jump you negatively. I think through the years we have slowly and now speedily becoming complacent with a major drop in morals and family values. I commend you on having the bravory to speak up and speak your mind. There are alot of young men and young ladies out there that are hoplessly searching for a decent and moral person with great moral values and integrity to spend time with and possibly have a great and honest marriage with.My neice will be getting married in May and she has put in 9-years of college-worked hard-waited and when I say waited- I mean she is still a virgin and waits for her honeymoon night to be special and with only one guy, the one she plans to spend the rest of her life with. They have both waited for 3-years now. We are all excited for them and honestly they are both excited but tremendously nervous also, which is very sweet we think.That seems to be something of a disgust to some people but I honestly don't know why. I think it is commendable and wonderful that young people will not fall into peer pressure and give in so easily. I feel so sorry for so many today that have and are now living in such a turmoil, and then there are some that it is perfectly fine with. It's definitely not The Cleavers or The Cosby's anymore! Times have changed and unfortunately it seems to be hard on alot of young people today. Keep The Faith and don't loose Hope,there are still some out there that share the same ideas you do. I hope you find someone that will fulfill your hopes and dreams-God Bless!!

Answer 4

ok, I understand you completely, but I have this problem with guys and many other girls do (I am a 25- year-old female:-). the thing is, I guess sometimes it's just our age, or the age where we start to takle relationships very seriously, but there is still a lot of that "inner teen" left in us, and we have a conflict with ourselves, as well as the sorroundings... I am not so sure that this is the reason though, but I am hoping to meet a guy like you, beacuse all I ever seem to meet are either total jerk, weirdos or "just looking for fun" guys.... yes, a girl starts wondering too what the hell happened to all the guys, don't they want relationships, does it all mean anything to them??? so, I really do understand what you are saying, but I have been promised that it does get better, only when you want something real you need to look harder. i really hope it's true and I really hope to meet a guy like you. now I see there is hope that there are more out there:-)

Answer 5

Now a days, women don't want to have to take care of a man. They wanna be taken care of. Second, we dress nice cause that's what we like to do, if we shut you down is because we're either in a relationship or just not interested in starting one. Now, if you don't have a car, why don't you save up some money so u can buy one. How do you expect to pick up a gilr??? Your 25 years old, you should have a car. I had my first car at 18. To me that shows being some what irresponsible. I gave men a chance. Men that didn't have a car or job. We get tired of having to support men that can keep a job. Maybe there's something wrong with you.....

Answer 6

I think its because "decent" guys aren't exciting. Many "decent" guys don't know how to have fun. I'm sorry if I'm offending you, but a lot of women in a certain stage of life (when they're younger) like guys who are dangerous, and fun. The nice guys usually get shot down, because, of either of a few factors; They seem to shy, to even ask a girl out, or they don't take enough risks or show any kind of self confidence. If you really want a girl to notice you, then you need to take the initiative, and build some confidence, or "*********."(not too much though...) You also have to be willing to have fun; maybe get into some fun clubs, or activities.

Answer 7

Gee I like you already.

Do you know the saying water seeks its own level? You need to hang around with women more like yourself. At work, in school, friend of friends. Yeah even Church.

Some women who dress sexy to get attention are selfish, looking for a man who can buy them things and show them a good time. Stay away from them.

There are plenty of nice, well-dressed, modest, and yes good-looking women who do not judge you because you do not have a car or make a lot of money.

Keep looking. They are right under your nose. And they won't be at the bars chug-a-lugging

Answer 8

Yes, today's woman seems to have gone to the extreme for equal rights. Seems we've been repressed for too long. That first bra that was burned started a new revolution! But honestly, not all women are like this but it seems you might be going to the places that these type like to go. I fondly call them "meat markets". These women are superficial and not one that you would want to get close to anyway. And just so you're aware, there are men out there that are the same....maybe we could move them all to an island and let them "impress" each other to death! lol

Answer 9

I think there are a whole lot more bad parents out there than studies would suggest. Many women have bad parents (some abusive), and this leads them to seek bad relationships because they're used to being hurt and feel that they don't deserve better.

At least, that's been MY experience with romance. Maybe I just see abuse everywhere since I'm primed to recognize it in my own life.

Hence, meds for my mental illness and lots of therapy.

See you when I get better!

Answer 10

Hey, I'm a guy, just to chime in here.

They key is knowing you are an armored knight, that no woman can sally your defenses of your armor.

What man can call himself a man, if he lets the words of a woman hurt him, give him grievous wounds?

If you get turned down, move on to the next one, and don't let it bother you.

It is not hard to find a woman in America.

What the current culture is, is that many men are Losers, and the women know it, and challenge a man to prove his worth, and many men just give in, feel hurt.

Have confidence, get a job, get a car, and live with the society you are born in.

It's a growing experience. Pretend for once, that it takes a car, a job, and independance to attract a mate, unless you are a loser that sponges off of women who are too willing to give everything they have to someone in an attempt to rescue them.

Get solid employment, and jump on eHarmony. Lots of women.

Small town inhabitants all across America are desperately lonely. Working in movie theaters, restaurants, offices, as clerks, receptionists, and as doctors, lawyers, and all kinds of jobs. But if they have a job, and independence and you don't, why do they need you?

It's a survival equation. Birds build nests, women want a nest too. Period.

"Why do they dress sexy only to shoot men down?"
To attract a mate with money, as a challenge, to find someone with courage and persistence, and wit.

Shot down? Learn better tactics. Repartee and wit.
If someone you don't know insults you, put her in HER place for being rude, to someone who is trying to be nice. It is a game. Win it.

"And why do they get together with men that treat them like dirt?"

It reinforces their own low sense of self esteem, established by her father, early on, as the type of man she is attracted to, but can never have. Ignores her, treats her like dirt, takes her for granted. The Daddy that never loved her, and was emotionally unavailable.

Instead of wondering why you fail, "I just don’t get it," study more on basic human psychology.

Figure out what a person needs, and then fulfill that need. It works for corporations, and relationships, too.

"Why are decent men out of luck these days?" Ha. Made me laugh. They are not out of luck.

Quitters are out of luck, because they quit, when they had half a chance if they persisted. You are asking someone to share a life with you, be a potential mate, you better have a damn good life to begin with.

Don't talk about the weather. Be an interesting person. Go out and get "The Book of Questions" by Gregory Stock, PH.D.
Go through the book together. If they get up, and leave the date, you can find someone else who is willing, and more open, in a few days, or even hours.

Every time I had a dinner date with a new woman, I brought that book. By the end of the date, 75% of the time, I had a relationship started, if I wanted it, and more than enough information to decide if I wanted it, right there.

Good luck.