I really need funny stuff to say when I'm a crazy old man. I have to porform this friday. I really need help!
2007-03-12 11:31:58 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Arts & Humanities ➔ Theater & Acting
Call people good doobies, or whipper snappers
Eh? Eh? Like you are hard of hearing, interrupting sentences to ask people to speak up.
When I was your age is very cliche, but if you want to...
I need to change my diaper, though that might offend some who really are wearing diapers.
Im feeling frisky! ... perverted old man
incoherant mumbling followed by a random statement you shout out loud.
Complain about the price of tea or that you can't find your penny loafers.
Gloat about how long you have been married and how much you hate it now.
Everything is the devil or has the mark of the beast
.....
Well thats about all I got. Good luck!
2007-03-12 11:42:01 · answer #1 · answered by Life Is Illusive 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Funny is relative. Gilda Radner loved responses using the wrong defn of a word in question. Should be go on a date?
I don't like dates they keep leaving the seeds in.
War references are great mumblings. I was on the Arc Royale when the Bismark shelled us and sank the Hood in May last year or was it 1941. Addressing objects and people by the wrong name. (To the washing machine): This is really lousy reception. Funny titles: This is Sarah by step-neighbor-in-law, that's because her cat had kittens in my back yard. Occupation jokes. After I retired as a Surgeon. I became absent minded. One time I opened a book to its appendix and without thinking, I removed. And of course SEX.
Fred my Uncle was arrested for assault with a dead weapon.
-or- I'm at an age where I still like girls but I can't remember why. Jokes are all over.
2007-03-12 18:48:53 · answer #2 · answered by Coach 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"Well, whenever I'm confused, I just check my underwear. It holds the answer to all the important questions."
Write a letter to the president: "Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three."
"The last time the meteors came, we thought the sky was on fire. Naturally, we blamed the Irish."
"I said you were cute as a bug's ear? I meant you're homely as a mule's butt."
Old Man: Are we there yet?
Family: No
Old Man: Are we there yet?
Family: No
Old Man: Are we there yet?
Family: No
Old Man: ........Where are we going?
2007-03-12 18:41:04 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Watch Homer's dad on The Simpsons for a few pointers
2007-03-12 18:38:29 · answer #4 · answered by Taylor29 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your hand to your ear and say eH? Like you can't hear. Also, one thing my own Daddy did is jump up and hug people and call them the wrong name. Example, "Oh, Jane I am so glad to see you". Except my name is Patricia
2007-03-12 18:41:58 · answer #5 · answered by p h 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep repeating the phrase "when i was you age. . ."
bring a cain
Dress in overalls
It would help to know what the skit was about too.
2007-03-12 18:36:52 · answer #6 · answered by DizziDazi 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
End everthing you say with "you wipersnappers", dog. And also " When i was your age we could get {any item, even a big ticket itme like a car} for a nickel and get change back."
2007-03-12 18:34:32 · answer #7 · answered by leroy_w_jackson 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
"Can ya' help me with muh bag?"
"When I was a boy ya' didn't need tuh be a collidge gradget to make a decent livin'. Now days ya' can't scrub floors 'thout
ya' got a darn ABC or Mba by yer name."
"There goes a flock of 'em now!"
2007-03-12 18:43:59 · answer #8 · answered by Beejee 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can have wide eyes and when you speak, try to act abit weird. You can act hunched if you are running or chasing someone. Good luck.
2007-03-12 19:56:39 · answer #9 · answered by Kal 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When someone farts, ask the if they still have a butthole left. My grandpa did this for real one time and it was SOOOOOO funny.
2007-03-12 18:35:03 · answer #10 · answered by stephbb32 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋