when you have kids? What's off limits? What can you discuss? How does moving on with others impact those boundaries?
2007-03-12 11:09:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The only thing you need to discuss with your ex are things that relate to the children. Don't discuss your current love life, finances, or family. They are no longer his business.
On the other hand, if it's a civil divorce and you decide you want to maintain a close relationship, go ahead but know that it may backfire.
2007-03-12 11:16:02 · answer #1 · answered by katydid 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You establish boundaries by talking about things that concern you both. If you have children, then all you need to talk about is them and the support they require. As for moving on with someone else, kids or no kids, your relationships are your business entirely and you don't have to explain anything to your ex.
Moving on to a new relationship will impact on your children but you should sit down and explain to them what's going on before you bring a new man into the house.
2007-03-12 11:17:20 · answer #2 · answered by Alyeria 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well as far as the kids are consider yes there needs to be boundaries as to where if you have company the kids need not to be around for that, there are all sorts of conversations you guys need to have about the children thats for sure just make sure your very open about what you think is best and what is not best and if he wants the same for them he will repect that and follow the rules accordingly but you must do the same as well
2007-03-12 11:14:55 · answer #3 · answered by prettygirl new orleans 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Respect, respect, respect.
When you have kids, you can't control what goes on in someone else's house. You can "discuss" behaviors and dealing with them consistently, but you can't enforce it. You never say anything negative about the ex to the kids...that goes both ways. It is detrimental to the kids.
There is a guide out ...the 10 commandments of co-parenting. I can't find it on the web, but I think I picked up a copy at my son's school. Basically, they are common sense things. Don't interfere, and don't allow interference, but also respect one another and communicate for your children's sake. Check yourself before you open your mouth.
2007-03-12 11:17:41 · answer #4 · answered by J F 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the maturity level. Two adults should be able to work out the necessary details and stick to them. There will always be variables of course but one ex or the other cannot be allowed to butt in all the time either. Try to cover as much as possible. Voice record or write down all the details. A good divorce atty should be able to give you legal guidelines.
2007-03-12 11:13:45 · answer #5 · answered by smecky809042003 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is all really up to you. Do whatever you're comfortable with. You don't *have* to discuss anything with your ex besides the stuff that has to do with the kids - how much further you're willing to take your conversations is completely up to you. My ex and I have a friendly relationship, and we talk about our lives and our significant others (I am re-married, he's been in several relationships since we divorced). We are comfortable talking about it. If you're not - just avoid the topics you don't want to talk about, and you can always say - sorry, I don't want to talk about it. It shouldn't be a big deal.
2007-03-12 11:20:03 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
he picks up the kids and then I go get them. basically, that's it. honk the horn! they have their own cells for phone visits. If and when I have a spouse...my boundary is to speak as little as possible about the ex. I share information about the kids important school activities if necessary or they do it. If they have preset appointment for dr or dentist that ends up on a day he's to pick up the kids...he takes them.
conversation is extrememly limited...anything else...i call a lawyer for advise. peace
2007-03-12 11:19:47 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should only be discussing the kids and financial stuff involving the kids, you two. Other personal stuff is inappropriate. If you want to maintain a close friendship with your ex beware it can backfire. Eventually you will have to back away once one of you meets someone. If you want to move on with your life it is honestly best not to do this.
2015-10-04 17:05:07 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
when you have kids there are some questions that they'll ask and I think that they should get an honest and true answer, because if they don'y get the answers from you they look other places and that can loose the communicaton in you. I think that there are no limits in asking questions that children ask.
2007-03-12 11:15:00 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You tell him what you will and wont tolerate. You agree to make decisions together concerning the kids. You keep your personal business PERSONAL. You do not tolerate disrespect and NO MATTER what happens you never put the kids in it or use them as a weapon or leverage.
2007-03-12 11:13:18 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋