Want to hear a good cricket story?

Question

In the early 1990s, South Africa had just been allowed to play international cricket again after the apertheid thing. They had a match to play against the West Indies in Barbados. A Barbadian player called Cummins, an all rounder, was expected to be in the team. The Barbadian public were tremendously excited at the prospect of seeing "their boy" play in his home town. Then dismay! The West Indian cricket board dropped him from the side. The anger amongst the populus was immense, and the word went round to boycot the game. On the day of the match, the ground which would normally been "heaving" WITH 30,000, singing, chanting, noisy fans. Was empty. They played the game before an almost empty stadium. That night someone took a pot of paint and a brush, and painted on the stadium wall. "NO CUMMINS - NO GOINGS.

Answer 1

Good one. Here's some of the absolute classics of the gentlemans game.

1 Rod Marsh & Ian Botham: When Botham took guard in an Ashes match, Marsh welcomed him to the wicket with the immortal words: "So how's your wife & my kids?"

2. Daryll Cullinan & Shane Warne:As Cullinan was on his way to the wicket, Warne told him he had been waiting 2 years for another chance to humiliate him. "Looks like you spent it eating," Cullinan retorted.

3. Glenn McGrath (bowling to portly Zimbabwean chicken farmer Eddo Brandes): "Hey Eddo, why are you so F**ing Fat?"
Eddo Brandes: "Because everytime I F*** your wife, she throws me a biscuit"

4. Robin Smith & Merv Hughes: During 1989 Lords Test Hughes said to Smith after he played & missed:"You can't f**king bat". Smith to Hughes after he smacked him to the boundary: "Hey Merv, we make a fine pair. I can't f**king bat & you can't f**king bowl."

5. Merv Hughes & Javed Miandad. During 1991 Adelaide Test, Javed called Merv a fat bus conductor. A few balls later Merv dismissed Javed: "Tickets please", Merv called out as he ran past the departing batsman.

6. Merv Hughes & Viv Richards. During a test match in the West Indies, Hughes didn't say a word to Viv, but continued to stare at him after deliveries. "This is my island, my culture. Don't you be staring at me. In my culture we just bowl." Merv didn't reply, but after he dismissed
him he announced to the batsman: "In my culture we just say f**k *ff."

7. And of course you can't forget Ian Healy's legendary comment which was picked up by the Channel 9 microphones when Arjuna Ranatunga called for a runner on a particularly hot night during a one dayer in Sydney... "You don't get a runner for being an overweight, unfit, fat c**t!!!"

8. James Ormond had just come out to bat on an ashes tour and was greeted by Mark Waugh....... MW : "F*ck me, look who it is. Mate, what are you doing out here, there's no way you're good enough to play for England" JO : "Maybe not, but at least i'm the best player in my family"

9. McGrath to Ramnaresh Sarwan: "So what does Brian Lara's d*ck taste like?"
Sarwan: "I don't know. Ask your wife."
McGrath (losing it): "If you ever effing mention my wife again, I'll F*ing rip your F*fing throat out."

10. Mark Waugh standing at second slip, the new player (Adam Parore) comes to the crease playing & missing the first ball. Mark "Ohh, I remember you from a couple years ago in Australia. You were sh*t then, you're fu*king useless now".
Parore- (Turning around) "Yeah, that's me & when I was there you were
going out with that old, ugly sl*t & now I hear you've married her. You dumb c*nt".

11. Yet another Australian witticism with this time porky Sri Lankan batsman Arjuna Ranatunga the victim. Shane Warne, trying to tempt the batsman out of his crease mused what it took to get the plump character to get out of his crease and drive. Wicketkeeper Ian Healy piped up, "Put a Mars Bar on a good length. That should do it."

12. Ravi shastri v/s the aussie 12th man (don't remember who, and don't want to slander anyone ) shastri hits it to this guy and looks for a single...this guy gets the ball in and says "if you leave the crease i'll break your f***ing head". Shastri: "if you could bat as well as you can talk you wouldn't be the f***ing 12th man"

13. Malcolm Marshall was bowling to David Boon who had played and missed a couple of times. Marshall : "Now David, Are you going to get out now or am I going to have to bowl around the wicket and kill you?"

14. Fred Trueman bowling. The batsman edges and the ball goes to first slip, and right between Raman Subba Row's legs. Fred doesn't say a word. At the end of the over, Row ambles past Trueman and apologises sheepishly. "I should've kept my legs together, Fred". "So should your mother" he replied.

15 After beating the bat on a number of occasions Shaun Pollock told Ricky Ponting, “It’s red, its round and weighs about 5 ounces.” Ponting hit the next ball out of the ground. He jibed, “You know what it looks like, go and find it.” This sledge has also been attributed to Viv Richards in an '80's English County game.

16 The Pom’s have always been famous for mocking their own players, with this a particularly good example. After the beer-bellied Mike Gatting was bowled by Shane Warne’s “ball of the century” on the Ashes tour of 1993, his team mate Graham Gooch uttered, “If it had been a cheese roll it would never have got past him.”

17 Dennis Lillee once commented that the arrogant natured Yorkshireman Geoff Boycott was, “The only fellow I’ve met who fell in love with himself at an early age and has remained faithful ever since.”

18 The “Father of Cricket” WG Grace was once bowled first ball in an exhibition match. “They have come to watch me bat, not you bowl,” he said, before replacing the bails and resuming his innings.
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There are 10 types of people that understand binary - those that do and those that dont

Answer 2

Nice to see Cummins back in action for Canada. If USA hadn't sorted out their problems, maybe we could have seen Kenneth Benjamin playing as well.

Answer 3

a lengthy time period in the past I type of knew Steve Marsh, who replaced into the Kent wicket keeper on the time. He informed me a tale that he replaced into taking section in a county journey down in Sussex in the destiny at the same time as after the 2d day of a three day journey the journey replaced into heading no the position and the team had more beneficial than some beers in the inn bar. He replaced into sharing a room with Chris Cowdrey on the time and once they were asleep for some hours he awoke with a real thirst so gulped down the glass of water that replaced into by ability of the area of the mattress. in the morning Chris Cowdrey awakened and went to positioned his contacts in only to discover that there replaced into an empty glass the position his lenses once were, a mad sprint to homestead then ensued earlier the starting up of play for his spare set. no longer particular how real this replaced into in spite of the undeniable fact that it replaced into bloody humorous on the time !!!

Answer 4

That was a really interesting story (incident).

Thank you for sharing it

Answer 5

No india,

BORING!
(i didnt read it)

now get lost
i mean bye...

no seriously, get LOST!

Answer 6

to long