How do I apply to be "literal"?

Question

I'd like to start being more "literal" in how I approach jokes and puns. What is the proper way to apply for this in NY state?

Answer 1

Well, one someone says, "cat's got my tongue" take out a magnifying glass, grab their tongue, and search diligently for that blasted cat.

When someone cracks the dogs with no noses joke, then immediately launch into a tirade about the cruelty to animals involved in making animals without the ability to smell.

Focus on one specific meaning of double entendre words, usually the abstract one, and repeatedly insist that the joke makes no sense.

Begin watching physically based comedy, because it will be all that you will be allowed to understand.

Then, go down to the courthouse in your town, ask to change your party affiliation, check the blank box for "other" and on the line, write in, "neoconservative"

You'll be on your way!

Answer 2

Being "literal" means taking words at face value, and not reading implied meanings into them.

Sarcasm is a perfect example. Taken literally, it says one thing. By implication and intent, it says the opposite.

Warning: Taking things literally, and speaking literally, will not win you any friends.