I went on a vacation a few weeks back. I wanted to go with my wife but she didn't want to go. She told me to go by myself. I went for 7 days. I helped her with some of her office assignments for her work and when I didn't know how to do one particular thing she flew off the handle and screamed at me that I should read the textbook because it was made for idiots like me. We've been married now for 7 years, but she never (NEVER!) brings up the subject of having kids, unless I start to talk about it first, at which point she uncovers a flaw in myself and points to it as why I'm not suitable for having kids. I'm employed, have a degree, and I'm a sweet and kind gentleman. Bit ugly but sweet and kind. When she gets some time off, she's off with her friends, Never with me. Now she's talking real quiet with her guy-friends, like she's hiding something. I was resting on the rug the other day when she came up and kicked me in the back, like I was a football or something. What gives?
2007-03-12 10:52:50 · 15 answers · asked by honesty_counts 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
From what you describe, you're being mentally abused. When she kicked you, she committed a violent act. My only suggestion is to protect yourself legally.
If the shoe was on the other foot, and she had called the police, you would have been subjected to a number of horrors. Unfortunately, now in the United States by the Violence Against Women Act, women have been empowered to hold a far superior status in the home than men ever enjoyed. Beware of a Domestic Violence charge. In the scenario you outlined, courts are so skewed in favor of women that if she told the police you hit her foot with your back, and she wanted to press charges - your a.s.s. would have gone to jail! It's crazy.
I say all this to say protect yourself. You love her and that's good, just don't let your love keep you stuck in what potentially could be becoming a dangerous situation.
2007-03-12 11:12:06 · answer #1 · answered by TzodEarf 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Geez, you and your wife may need some professional marriage counseling. While it's OK, and even healthy, for you and your wife to have your own interests and do you own thing, it's also important to have to spend time together as well as to express your honest feelings about what is on your minds.
I really don't understand why your wife would kick you for no apparent reason, but that may be a situation where you need to man-up and tell her that's a bunch of crap, if that's how you feel.
I think you need to lay in on the line and tell her how you feel. Let her scream, cry, yell, call you names, etc, but don't back down. Don't take anything personal and don't throw insults back; keep it constructive.
The first step is to stop feeling sorry for yourself and be courageous about this relationship. Gather all the information you can about attaining a healthy marriage and go for it. You'll only take your baggage with you to the next relationship, so it'd be better to make this one work. Get some help and good luck!
2007-03-12 11:34:49 · answer #2 · answered by Big Blue 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
OMG, how come people don't appreciate nice people or spouses, seems the nicer you are the worse your treated and shes just using you, seems like she doesn't care about any of your feelings, as there avoided and to get away from it she puts you down, that's just a bully who doesn't want to face her own issues, some get there glory making themselves feel better by demeaning others, well that's not right, you seem like a very sweet, intelligent man and shouldn't be in a relationship just for the sake of, you deserve someone who appreciates and doesn't abuse you emotionally and psychically, i mean kicking you??? people kick garbage not there husband/wife , you know i think sometimes if you do move on sometimes people realize just what there missing BUT maybe you'll just find just what your missing!!! ALL THE BEST 2 YOU XXX
2007-03-12 11:26:02 · answer #3 · answered by Bella 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What gives is that there is no communication in this relationship, but lots of abuse. It sounds like it isn't strong at all. I believe it's time for you to move on. She doesn't deserve a nice guy like you, and she obviously isn't happy with anything but what you may provide. If you have to go on a vacation by yourself because she 'didn't want to go' then I think it's time for you take a permanent vacation from her. You have a right to be happy!
2007-03-12 11:02:24 · answer #4 · answered by Plexed 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds as if she isn't planning on being in this relationship long. along with the disrespect, she has men friends, hides things, and instead of going off with u on vacation she chooses her friends. the main giveaway is she finds all kinds of reasons why she doesn't want a child, she is really the one not suitable to have kids, she won't have a child because she isn't planning to be in this marriage long. u deserve to be treated better than this.
2007-03-12 12:18:27 · answer #5 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a very sad situation. You should definately leave her, and I would do it first if I were you cause it sounds like either she's already planning on it, or she's totally using you, either way, I wouldn't give her the satisfaction of being the one to break it off. She could probably use a good blow to the ego. Honestly you deserve much better than that treatment.
2007-03-12 11:15:59 · answer #6 · answered by coffee_inthe_evening 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get out now while you can. Lucky for you, you didn't have kids with her. the reason she is saying there is something wrong with you and that's why you can't have kids is because she is not ready to have kids and is pushing it off onto you so she doesn't get blamed. She has some serious issues you don't deserve her, find someone who will love you for who you are.
2007-03-12 11:03:29 · answer #7 · answered by Kristal E 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
you should leave I am in the process of this myself I am always the one to mention kids and my husband does not say much or he arguess and how much money they are. As for her kicking you this is wrong I would love for my husband to be better educated and to want to spend more time with me. I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-03-12 11:06:53 · answer #8 · answered by firecrackertx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you're as nice as you say you are, you don't deserve to be treated this way. It sounds like you're married but she's not. If she's not open to counseling, I suggest you move on.
I know a lot of kind, single women who would love to meet a guy of your caliber. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there but be very, very, picky.
2007-03-12 11:03:50 · answer #9 · answered by katydid 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a woman who appreciates u for u inside out, not the person u share a house with
2007-03-12 10:59:11 · answer #10 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋