my boyfriend never wants to have sex. i know that he is not cheating on me or anything but we are both young and use to have a great sex life. now we barely ever have sex and its putting a strain on our relationship.i try things to get him in the mood and he says he jsut never is. what can i do?
2007-03-12 10:31:13 · 22 answers · asked by bubbles 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
A couple of possibilities (Don't be mad at me - these are POSSIBILITIES):
You suck in bed.
You smell bad.
He is gay.
He sucks in bed.
2007-03-12 10:35:03 · answer #1 · answered by a kinder, gentler me 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he's going through a lot of stress. Maybe you want sex too much! Although it's seen usually from the other side, sometimes guys just get bored with girls when basically all the relationship ends up being is sex. Even guys want substance sometimes.
Have you tried asking? It might be something you never thought of.
Maybe spend some time listening to those radio sex shows to hear the variety of similar situations. You might hear some good advice.
2007-03-12 17:38:16 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I thought it was mostly dudes complaining about lack of sex...I've since read a lot of complaints from women. I guess I would tell you the same thing I would tell a guy; if he wants it never and you want it every day, every other day would be a fair compromise. If he isn't willing to satisfy you at least once or twice a week he is being selfish. You need to have an honest conversation about your needs...it will improve things. If he claims he is trying to do other things to keep you happy, tell him you need all of your needs fulfilled, just as you seek to fulfill all of his. Trying to fill this need with other forms of attention is like trying to give somebody food to satisfy their thirst. Sometimes, witholding sex is actually a control thing, he may be getting revenge for some other inequality in your relationship, sort of asserting his power. PS. Don't listen to the crap about leaving him alone if he doesn't want to. Then it's 100% about what he wants and 0% about what you want. If he loves you he should want to do what you want at least some of the time.
2007-03-12 17:40:10 · answer #3 · answered by Killer B 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, how religious is he? when i was 18, i had a fiance who was actually my first and we had a great intimate life together... but a couple of times throughout our 2 year relationship, he decided he did not want to have sex anymore because he wanted to show me he respected me as his woman and wasn't just in it for sex... also, we thought we would get married so we figured if we abstained, it would be sssoooo much better on our wedding night.... i mean, it only would last for maybe a week, cause he just couldn't resist me, but this may have something to do with it. don't get mad at him, because then he will think that u are in nit just for sex... just talk calmly and seriously about it with him... hopefully he will open up... but, how young are you? because if you are too young, abstaining is probably the best... like, under 17 i think is too young... good luck...
2007-03-12 17:49:57 · answer #4 · answered by shiningstar1313 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How old are you?Is he ill? Are you fighting or trying to run his life? Is he attentive and loving otherwise? Are you hot? Is he hot?
He may be getting it somewhere else, he may be ill, he may be tired or busy, he may be bored, he may be worried about getting you pregnant, you might be getting fat or skinny. He may be getting fat or skinny.
TALK to HIM!
Tell him you love him and want to have it. If he says no, tell him he must tell you what is going on, because you are not going to put up with that forever.
Let him know he can talk to you. LISTEN!Close you mouth and let him talk.
If he won't talk, or brushes you off, you will at some point have to DECIDE whether this is something you want from now on.
YOu can say," I love you, but if you won't talk to me, won't work on a situation with me, won't be close to me, then what do we have, really?"
Don't whine or threaten, just pack and go. You deserve to be with someone who wants you as much as you want them.
Good luck.
2007-03-12 18:01:07 · answer #5 · answered by Lottie W 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Investigate it fully now. Could be stress, could be depression, could be distraction...but one thing for sure...it will be how it is later if you two get married.
I use to think that my ex would be better once we got married given he was conservative. Not the case, the sex ended entirely.
Here is the test...if he is defensive or says it is you...then you have a problem that you may want to leave now...
REALLY.
2007-03-12 17:36:17 · answer #6 · answered by kishoti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there's not much u can do. sex is not something a relationship is based on, so u should accept the fact that if he dosent want to he dosent want to. if u really 'love' him, u will understand. perhaps someday he will b in the mood again, but for now u will have to hold it off. u can also try asking him y he dosent want to. maybe there's some deeper reason. dont press him though.
2007-03-12 17:36:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
If he does not want to have sex with you, he is cheating!! Men cannot go without sex, it is a proven fact.. I'm really not trying to be mean, but sometimes they can just totally convince you that they are being faithful when in reality. I mean young, and not interested in having sex?? I'm sorry he is soo cheating!
2007-03-12 17:35:57 · answer #8 · answered by michelle b 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
FInd out whats going on with him. When a man turns down sex somethings wrong. Tell him he can talk to you about it. Maybe somethings just on his mind and he doesnt want to. Find out why
2007-03-12 17:37:18 · answer #9 · answered by Sexy*Black*Chick 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Find a new b/f or ask him why, go see counseling if you have been together long enough! Look back and ask yourself what has changed since you two stopped? Did you move in together, get jobs move away or even start college? what stressors?
2007-03-12 17:35:51 · answer #10 · answered by afqt4816 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he isn't attracted to you in that way anymore, or he is on medication that decreases his sex drive. Or maybe he is feeling insecure about his own body.
2007-03-12 17:44:05 · answer #11 · answered by Vegas 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋