I feel that I don't deserve anything better. I am in the begining steps of divorce...my husband does not know becuase I feel like he will short circut on me...he has never hit me it is just all of the emotinal abuse and verable abuse I ahve gone though. We have been married a litle bit over 9 years it will be 10 in December. I feel in love with himi and I still love him but is is so different than what it used to be. I am tired of being threatend divorce when he does not like what I have to say, thorwing his ring at me, lieing to me, packing up some of his stuff and putting it in his car, telling me I am a waste of time, the marriage is a waste of time, that i derserve better than him, that he does not want to be my best friend, I tried to look cute for him and he told me that I looked like a *****. He for the moment is a truck driver again and I have only seen him 6 days this year we have not had sex since mid december of last year. I have never cheated on him until August of
2007-03-12 10:24:26 · 11 answers · asked by firecrackertx 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
last year and I stopped that. I do have a new friend who complemtent me, that makes me smile and laugh all the time and the divorce is not his fault or anyone else. I do have a job I will be struggling but I feel not worthy of anything and my friends try and cheer me up but I have been told much **** that I am hurt.
I have had my speculations about my husband cheeting on me I have caught him in several lies. I am not proud of myself but will I feel a relief at all?
I have never in my entire life cheeted on anyone and I never thought this would be happening to me.
My husband changes job at least 2 to 3 times a year and acts like what all I do at the house after working a full time job that it is not worth anything.
2007-03-12 10:28:51 · update #1
my girlfirends all say how cute and beautiful I am. Some of them say yes you are married on paper but here is not ehre for you and even some of my family and family friends questions and wonder why I am still with him. They all feel I deserve better. I still love him but not the way I used to.
My belated grandmother like him but felt he is not the one for me.
2007-03-12 10:31:06 · update #2
we do not have any kids together.
I question everyday why I feel so worthless and do not deserve anything.
And then there is my friend yes I know cheating is very wrong and I will have to pay for it in the end but he is so sweet, kind, complentary to me which I have never had and make me feel happy and i smile when I think about him. He misses me when he has not seen me in a few days he works two jobs and somethimes our schedules dont always work good but we try and I get so happy when he calls me. He makes me feel like I am worth something!
My husband I feel choses to be away from me and when he was home last month it was just so weird for him to be there and to sleep in bed with him it was like a complete stranger.
2007-03-12 10:35:43 · update #3
you should bail out now, while you still have a chance to find a REAL MAN, who knows how to treat people. remember love isn't about the words, but actions. from what i've read his actions are anything but loving. all you need is to believe in yourself and stop listening to him, he's just making you feel badly and if someone makes you feel bad then why have them in your life? start putting yourself first.
here are some quotes for you to ponder:
Nobody can hurt me without my permission.
-Mahatma Gandhi
Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get.
-George Bernard
Saying no can be the ultimate self care.
-Claudia Black
Good luck!!!
2007-03-12 10:41:11 · answer #1 · answered by StrongWoman22 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need a divorce Mental abuse is sometime worse then physical abuse. I got a divorce it has been almost 5 yrs and I won't say it hasn't been hard but I will say one of the hardest things to recover from is all the things running in my head that I had heard all the yrs from him. It took me almost 2 yrs to understand I wasn't ugly or useless. I was 30 at the time and I heard that at my age no man would ever want me But I discovered that I don't need a man I have really needed these 5 yrs to work on myself. BEST OF LUCK......
2007-03-12 10:37:21 · answer #2 · answered by della_brown_99 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like it's time for the divorce. His meaness toward you might be guilt he's carrying around about him not being faithful. I know what it's like to still love a husband but you need to be "in" love with him not "just" love him. As far as your friend giving you complements, you are very vulnerable right now and anyone that shows kindness will share a special spot in your heart. What you don't need right now is someone else in your life trying to work into your heart. Get your divorce, start your life over and when you are comfortable with YOU then allow someone to share your new life with you.
2007-03-12 10:35:41 · answer #3 · answered by hummingbird 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you tried getting him into counseling? I know that it will probably be hard to do that, but, you need to really try if you want to salvage it. He may not realize what he is doing.
Also, be sure to work with a lawyer to make sure that all your finances and accounts are in order when you do the divorce, so, that you do find yourself in a bad financial situation with trashed credit report.
2007-03-12 11:15:48 · answer #4 · answered by Darwin C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I try not to tell people to get divorced but I do think that you two needed to think about why you got married and why you love each other. or did at one point. I hope that you will try all avenues before divorce. He sounds like he could use some counsoling and maybe you as well. It couldn't hurt.
2007-03-12 10:33:29 · answer #5 · answered by The Voice Of Reason 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry for what you are going through.
^ days out of a year is too much for you to hold together on your own and take all of those spiteful amd mean actions that he has done to you, not to count the lack of affection and intimacy.
yes, you are worth it and yes youc an be happy again,. You will feel relieved after getting rid of him. Be strong!
Best of luck
2007-03-12 10:30:31 · answer #6 · answered by Blunt 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him to keep on truckin..... leave if you dont leave now both of you will get hurt in the long run, you can still love the man, but why???? it sounds as though he has no more time for you or love for that matter. he is giving you hints, or maybe he found out about you cheating on him.... if you stay any longer it will head for a major disaster
2007-03-12 10:30:59 · answer #7 · answered by boonoora 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand what you are going through. It is tough. He is mentally and emotionally and verbally abusing you. My advice is leave when he is out of town. He is neglecting you and I'm sure there is some man out there that will love you and everything about you and respect you and not neglect your needs. Good luck!!
2007-03-12 10:34:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jewel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when ever you cheat on your marriage youre wrong and if your marriage is no good the get a divorce and by what you said its not much of a marriage away and its time to to say good by good luck
2007-03-12 10:32:16 · answer #9 · answered by nightman122554 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get that divorce. Nobody deserves to be treated that way. And this time, help him pack.
2007-03-12 10:29:01 · answer #10 · answered by Royalhinney 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋