Quick background:
My boyfriend and I are both 20. I'm going to graduate next year from college while my boyfriend is going to begin his studies to become a doctor in Germany this year. He comes from a very strict family in Israel and I'm from America.
Anyways, there is a huge possibility that I'm pregnant and I'm going to the clinic tomorrow morning. So I told him and he told me if I am pregnant then he wants me to get an abortion.
I felt as if he smacked me across my face. I understand that he's worried about his family reactions and our lack of money. Yet, I'm so against abortions.
Anyways, I want to hear stories about getting pregnant and your boyfriend/husband/family wanting you to get an abortion. What did you do?
I'll give updates later if I am pregnant or not. Pray that I'm not.
2007-03-12 10:17:26 · 31 answers · asked by Ayesha 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Well first of all I need to make a small comment to responder number 1...... Things were going great with your answer right up until you said...."it's not fair to tie him down when he says he doesn't want a baby" -----WELL THAN MAYBE HE SHOULDN'T HAVE HAD SEX WITH HER!!
Okay, venting session over......
He did just smack you in your face sort of speak. Heres' a man you clearly love and hopefully has loved you in return. You two are intimate and share that love. Well, he's an adult and I'm sure with him going to be a doctor and all, he's a smart boy!! Did he miss the lecture in class where they say if you have unprotected sex you could get your significant other pregnant???? By asking you to get an abortion when he knows you as a loving, devoted person is just that - a smack in the face.
However, now that you have the possibility of pregnancy..... and I will pray with you that you aren't if this is what you want.... I hope you have learned a lesson here. Either abstain or use protection!! Straight up. Abortion is NOT intended for means of birth control!!! They have pills and condoms for that. I also hope that you have a wonderful support system if you are and your boyfriend decides he no longer wants to be in your life. Doesn't make him less of a daddy though. Just be sure to ask friends and family to help you because you want to do what you feel is morally right but need their love and support to help you get through this. I pray that if you are pregnant that your boyfriend mans up to his part and becomes a responsible and reliable partner!! I can tell you love him just by your words....you would not have been so hurt if he didn't have asked that awful thing of you!!!!
Kudos for your stance on abortions!! I am a pro-lifer too. Stay strong and hang in there. {{{hugs and prayers}}}
2007-03-12 10:36:38 · answer #1 · answered by momto3 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
well here is my story, when i got pregnant i was 18 still in high school and doing my training to become a certified nurse assistant I had no idea I was pregnant because supossedly me i was taking care of myself with birth control pills. My hubby boyfriend then was 21 years old or so. Trust me it never hit me to have an abortion or even think about it yes i was really upset because i was too young and so was my hubby and we were not ready. I remember coming home so sad, then my hubby got home from work and i was crying my eyes out because i was feeling so many emotions and i finally told him. He thought something else had happened because of how much I was panicking but you should have seen his face when i told him he got a big ol smile hugged me and said is that what your crying for? Well I know you wanted to hear stories on people who could relate but i know everybody has a choice and a opinion and i don't want to be judgemental but i seriously seriously wish if you are pregnant that you do not get an abortion even though it was not planned but if you are responsible to be sexually active then I think you should be responsible for the concequences to come. Even though i was so young i never regret any moment from when i first found out i was pregnant, delivery time, and up to now. Yes it is hard to be a parent and yes you will make mistakes along the way we are only human but trust me giving life to a child is the most beautiful thing you could ever do in your life. I understand that one of your boyfriend's main concern is his family and their strict ways but that should not come in between you and your boyfriend decision. well i hope and wish that you would make the best choice and i wish you hapinness!
damaris
Mother of one beautiful 3 year old boy and another one on the way.
2007-03-12 17:38:26 · answer #2 · answered by *Loving my two boys* 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Wow, tough situation...I've never gone through what you're experiencing but I know ppl who have and it's not easy. I know it may be tough and you might loose your boyfriend but you should stick to your values, don't give into peer pressure! Also I've seen to many girls suffer from guilt all their lives after they had an abortion...many go into depression and some even commit suicide. I'm not trying to scare you out of it...just trying to show what MIGHT happen if you listen to your boyfriend. Also think about the baby. If you are pregnant than you have a living breathing human being inside of you. I don't care what scientists say. If you don't think your ready to become a parent then there's always adoption...abortion isn't the only answer. All in all the decisions up to you...I can't make it for you. All I ask is that you seriously think about it before making any permanent decisions. I'll be praying for you!
2007-03-12 17:38:18 · answer #3 · answered by Tsuki Kasumi 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you are against it don't do it for him-you will regret it-my cousin did and it's something that is not cannot be changed.
when i first becam epregant my boyfriend kept saying that we weren't ready but that it was my choice-i don't believe in abortion (unless raped) so there was no question in my mind that i would go through with it. I was 19 and in school he was 30 and just lost his job. i told him that i understtod that we weren't ready but that i didn't beive in abortions so we had 9 months to get our s**t together. we have a beautifaul little girl now, and i am pregnant with our 2nd.
it all comes down to it being your body and your decision you have to live with for the rest of your life (he probably will never understand it like you do, having life in your body is a beautiful thing that you can just tell from the begining). no matter what if you guys stay together or not it will always be with you-i wouldn't go through with an abortion especially since you don't really want one, you don't want to regret it. as for him and his family if his family and thier opinons were that important he should have waited to have sex, he is a big boy and knew what consequences could have occured (espeically if he is going to be a doctor-hello) it shouldn't be about his family whatsoever, it is about you, your health, and your baby. having sex was an option he choose now he must live with its consequences, you can figure out money and go to school-i am i am 23 with a two year old and 34 weeks pg with number 2, i work part time and go to school, you can make it work.
good luck
2007-03-12 17:31:33 · answer #4 · answered by emery_sage 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie I do understand, and it is up to you what you decide! Adoption is better then abortion... and if you are against it you will regret it for the rest of your life. I think your boyfriend will come around... a lot of men get scared! My husband (boyfriend at the time) did not tell his family we were pregnant until I was four months along!! Now we are married, and trying to have another baby! It will all work out just follow your heart!! Best of wishes, and good luck... I hope you get what you want!!!!
2007-03-12 17:24:27 · answer #5 · answered by giannamarie1209 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
when i found out i was pregnant, my husband and i were excited. he's 18, and im 17. we know we're young. we've been together for almost 3 and a half years now, and we couldnt be happier to expect our daughter. but, when i first told my parents, they told me to get an abortion...their words were "all you have to do is get an abortion, and forget about it. you'll start all over with a clean slate" i had already told them that i didnt want an abortion, and my husbands family didnt mind me being pregnant, and didnt want me to get an abortion either. So, i did what i wanted, we've kept the baby, and so far, shes healthy. theres 21 days until my due date, and we cant wait to have her here. Do what you feel is right. everything happens for a reason. You wont regret keeping your baby. I promise. My little girl isnt even here yet, and I would never dream of regretting her. Good luck. God bless!
2007-03-12 17:26:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well, I'm 18 and pregnant, and my boyfriend did not want me to get an abortion, but if he had I would have done what I wanted to do. It's legal and it's your choice...but it's YOUR choice, not his, not your parents, not anyone else's. You have to do what you feel in your heart is right for YOU, and he has to respect that because it is your body. It sounds like you guys aren't quite on your feet yet but are working to get there. Good for you! I'm sure your baby would have a happy home with you, if you were pregnant.
My dad always told my mom that after I was born he didn't want anymore kids. Then she fell pregnant and he was all like, "So what are you going to do about it?" hinting that she needed to abort. She decided not to, but then she had a miscarriage at 7 weeks and was very devastated.
The bottom line is that the life that may possibly be growing within you is your responsibility and your choice, and you should not feel pressured into anything you feel isn't right for you. In the end, you are the only one who will live with the physical and emotional consequences of going thorugh an abortion that you don't want to have.
2007-03-12 17:24:37 · answer #7 · answered by grayhare 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I highly reccomend that you get an abortion before the fetus is fully developed.
Each time a person aborts a fetus they are freeing up enough resources to raise 13 children in a third world country. I suggest you abort and then support a child in another country. Ads are frequently on TV that say supporting an overseas child will cost less than 1$ per day.
This way you will be saving a fully developed child and aborting an undeveloped fetus.
It is my personal belief that when you abort a fetus, it is simply a mass of cells. Science does not know what a soul is, but it is my belief that a soul does not attach to a fetus until it is born. This is simply a logical extension of the fact I believe that God uses miscarriage and that if God uses miscarriage, then abortion could not be murder, because God does not murder. I believe God reuses the souls of the aborted rather than letting them pass on.
----just my belief---
2007-03-12 21:15:19 · answer #8 · answered by Give me Liberty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is my sister's story. She was 22 years old and in a 'committed' relationship (they wanted to grow old together and thought marriage was just a piece of paper) when she became pregnant. Her significant other immediatley wanted an abortion, but she knew she could not kill her child. The father stayed with her until the baby was born and then split. To this day, she feels like her daughter is the best thing that ever happened to her. My sister is now happily married (7 years), and her daughter is a beautiful 13 year old.
If you want to make it work, I know you can, and I believe you will have a happy ending, too.
2007-03-12 17:45:06 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope for your sake you aren't pregnant - and not just because your boyfriend wants you to have an abortion. If you are pregnant, and are against abortions, it sounds like to me your mind is made up, don't get one. If he is so worried about his family relations he should have thought through all that before you all had sex. This potential child doesn't need to suffer for this. If you are pregnant everyone on this board will beg you not to have an abortion - if you decide not to keep the baby then give it up for adoption. You are the only one that can decide what's right for you, and I hope you make the right choice :) Good luck
2007-03-12 17:27:37 · answer #10 · answered by FirefighterWife 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋