I have nice answer for your curiousity, if you like reading enough: (This is a true-life story of me)
When I was a little girl, I read an European folk tale named "The red sails ship", I liked it so much, because it's similar with my wish. I was living a so poor and miserable life in such a poor place of the world, and I did wish and somewhat expected for a "prince" to come to take me away with him like in the story beneath:
Once upon a time, there's a little girl living with her father who was a fisherman at a village on the ocean shore. They were poor, and the girl didn't have many friends to play with, so she often stayed at the shore looking far away to the ocean, dreamming about a very red, red-sail ship bringing a handsome prince to come and take her away with him ... while the village childrens played together and laughed at her as they knew what she was dreaming about ...
Then the little girl grew up to a pretty maiden, and despite the hard poor life, she still had her dream, she looked to the ocean from time to time, waiting for her red-sail ship carrying the prince come from far away... One day, while all village boys and girls were teasing her about the red sailled ship on the shore, she saw something red from far, far on the ocean. It got closer, closer, closer... and in front of her eyes, became a very red, red-sail ship ... Finally it got to the shore ... And from the ship, there came a handsome prince, who would hold her hand and took her to the ship, sailled it away with her together, away onto the ocean on his red, red sailled ship, in front of wide-opened eyes of all village boys and girls ...
I forgot about the story when I grew up into a late teen, finishing pleasant innocent school time, digging myself into the hard life to earn a living while trying to keep up a little bit with the need of my artsy soul ... I made them fall in love with me, and I too felt in love with an airline pilot, then an young artist whose father was one of the most famous poetries in the country, an university teacher who was my dance instructor as well ... and some other couple of very good looking guys, but I could never take them seriously into my life, never could show them to my mother and to my home ... My mother was so stricky to me, she had a so hard life herself, but did not know to ventilate herself in the beautiful way I did, because I had taken this from my late father... So many times my mother treated me so bad, so crazy although from her heart I knew she loved me like a mother, but I she just did not make me feel so ... She made life become so miserable, and so poor, so some of the guys were at "high" or "noble class", so they liked me when they saw me for who I was but I bet they would not take me if they knew about my condition of living, my family situation ... I really felt like Cinderella, beautiful and somewhat special when I was out of my home, miserable in my "real" life ...
One year, something happened between me and my mother accidently, and I knew I could not live with her anymore. I tried all the ways to gather enough an amount of money to buy a tiny room of less than 3 feets each side, with no kitchen, no bathroom (I used a little electric stove, surviced the bathroom thing using public one and the one at work place, or asking favor from neighbors sometimes ...). I ran away from my mother, started to live on my own, lying to her that I was studying at an university and therefore living at its campus. For the first year I did not even have a bed, so I had to laied all the coats and jackets, winter pants ... I had on the floor to sleep on top for not getting the cold intrudering from the concreted floor into my back in the night ... Life was so lonely and hard, because job was not secured either, most of the time I did not get enough money to live. Many time my best friend saved the money her mom gave her for breakfast or snack at college to give me, so I could by food . I felt in love with an young guy that was not at (far from) my ideal wish, just because I was so lonely, but then his mother did not even want him to be with me, because her opinion was he would have to marry a girl who could certainlly earned a good amount of money each month ... She was that kind of "*****" that would keep a note-book to write down each day each penny she and her family spent, and controlled all the men in her family - her husband was a well-known musician of the country, an editor of the nation's radio boardcast, and he had "soul friends" all along his life, because he could not break the family ... And the son had to do what the mother wanted, too, to please her and keep family in peace ...
I was so sad when I saw all these things couldn't help happening. The boy and I were naturally splitting away from each other little by little, day by day... And near the very end of the now-faded relationship, one evening on the way back after overtime work hours I felt so lonely, so sad recalling the excitting, cozy evenings some time before I would wait for the boy to come to see me at that time, in my tiny room ... Riding my old bicycle on the bumpy narrow path in the dark of the neighborhood, tears felt down from my eyes ...
Suddenly, the red-sail ship with the handsome prince in the folk tale came in my mind ... I wish I was living at that time of the story, when everything could happen, like a wish ... I wish I was that little girl ... I would wait for the prince come to take me away with him on his very red, red-sail ship ...
Well, life had gone on for another piece, I made some change into a very new and modern part of the country's life, because I was among the few people who could speak English in the country at that time (They started to teach English at midle school right at the year I entered it, and I was one of the best at school) ...
But I was still so hopeless about love and a future like my dreams ... One day, a very handsome young cool guy - like a rock star, with silky long brown curly hair, his innocent eyes were like bambi's, and a very sweet smile - appeared on my life's path ... He came from a country that people in mine almost just dreamed about, and adored, like a place in a folk tale ... And so much amazing than my imagination, he liked me very much, and asked me to be his friend, and then his girl friend ...
Life went on for another piece, many unexpected things that I did not even want to remember, had happened, including some other guys I met ... Then one day the very handsome, cool young guy came back with a diamon ring, a limousin - in that poor country at that difficult time - full of white and pink roses, and a beautiful bouquet, to take me away with him, in front of a large crowd of the neighborhood. He looked like a prince, I looked like a princess, we walked out from a fairy tale ...
Some months later, I took a flight to come to live with him in the dream country, left behind me a true-life folk tale in the neighborhood ...
I had made some of my "unbelievable" dreams come true: travelling some parts of the world, got wonderful children, got to know many different people and cultures ... But sadly, as time goes by, little by little the limousin tale has become something that does not make me pleasant feeling each day of my life any more, but I just can not abandon it ... The world of my soul is so full and with all of its beauty, but my heart is almost empty, I feel I have no one to share with although I am not living alone ... I don't know what to do ...
So once again, the red sails ship fairy tale which is filled with never-old "Fur Elise" of Beethoven (... Passed the snowy storms, you are mine again. Like new spring, like wind blowing in paradise, you are my for-ever intoxicated love ...) wonders from time to time in my mind ...
Maybe I am too dreamy, but I believe in love and goodness, good heart, and the fairy tale had come for me at least once ... It just came in an "emergency" to save me from misery, but this time would it be a soulful one ... ?
2007-03-12 09:57:00
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answer #1
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answered by Anonymous
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