My GF told me she is broken and can never get pregnant now she is pregnant, what should i do...?

Question

We never wanted to get married or live together, she said she is boken and i dont need to use condoms, we were about to leave each other in couple of months, she was to crazy about sex and always wanted to have sex so i never said no. She always told me we can have fun and move on, no need to take anthing serious.

Now she is pregnant, not ready for abortion and is threating me to drag me to court for child support, if i dont marry her or not live with her. I cannot marry her or liv with her, we r not made for each other, our nature dosent match, apart from that her past was too bad for me to accept her as wife, she has slept with many guys and done many wild things in past.

What should i do now, marry her, have live in relaionship with her, run away, go to court, or what. Please help me i really need some suggessions...

Answer 1

You got trapped and now you will pay for your mistake for being so trusting. Go to court, get child support set up and pay for your child. Do NOT marry this lady. If this is what she is like single, I'm terrified as to what she would be like married.

edit - the others are right. Get a DNA test first. Yes, they are pricey, but better $600 for a DNA test than $172800.00 in child support for a child that isn't yours. ($600 a month for 18 years)

Answer 2

Ok, legally, since you never married her, she can not claim child support from you.

Now, emotionally, you have some things to do:

First of all, find out who is the real father. You must get a DNA test done for this. I read your other questions and it seems that baby could have a different father.

Then, if the bay is yours, then you have to sit down and analyze your feelings. Many people neglects their kids at the beginning, but find out later how mistaken and wrong they were, and it is usually too late by then.

Unless you are really sure you want nothing to do with the baby, you have to move yourself right away and find a lawyer.

You have to be able to appear as the legal and natural father of the child in all the papers. If you don’t wish to live with the baby, but be able to visit or have the baby some days, you will have to come up with an agreement for child support with the mother. The court will not grant you permissions if you don’t help with the bills. Simple.

If you wish to keep the baby, then you need to prove the mother is not capable for the task. That could become hell and lots of money later could still result into nothing as she might still win.

It is all up to you. If you can not afford a lawyer, you will have to start educating yourself a little bit with the law and the concepts and find out what forms need to be filled in for each process.

Still, the DNA test should be the first step. Do not do anything else without being sure you are the father.

And before I finish, let me also give you another solution. You have stated many times she is not good for you or your type. But still, it seems you liked her somehow, or you would have hanged around her too long, even if is just sex.

If there is a remote possibility of you two being together, and you are really the father, naybe you two should consider to be together. Having a mother and a father that are together is a 100% better scenario than divorced or separated parents for a kid. Once you are a father or a mother, your personal life becomes secondary. You first and primary center of attention should be that child, that is here in this world alone and with only one hope: the parents.

Think about it. Think what that baby is going to think of the parents in 10 or 20 years from now. You might think is not important now or that you don’t care, but when that day comes, you are going to care, and tears will come from your eyes.

Good luck, and act wisely.

Answer 3

I would say sit down and have a logical discussion. Bring up the key points: How would living together do anything for the soon to be 3 of you? Is she needing you to live with because she can't support herself with childsupport given by you once baby is born? I'd come to a resolution of paying child support after the child is born but help out when needed, don't let her take advantage of an already unhappy situation. She made the choice to tell you she couldn't have children but was she really 100% sure or did she tell you that in order to have a child and weigh you down afterward. Yes gentlemen there are women who do, do this and they are wrong for doing so. Make it a point to be part of the child's life but that you and the mother do not need to live together in order for you to do your part as well. A good lesson to those who think they can have their cake and eat it too.

Answer 4

If you don't love her, don't marry her or live with her.

You should pay child support, but first get a DNA test to make sure the child really is yours. If it's yours, be a good father to that child. It's not their fault they're here and not fair to take your anger out on them just because their mother.

I'm confused - she's slept with a lot of guys - but you didn't use a condom because she said she couldn't get pregnant. Did the risk of STDs not enter your mind? Bet you won't make that mistake again, huh?

ETA: Do not run! This won't work. I do payroll for a company and each one is required to report new hires. If she reports to the prosecutor that you owe child support - they'll find you in a heart beat.

Answer 5

What Kunkee said. You cannot be forced to marry her. You can only be forced to pay child support. If you marry her you are setting yourself up for alimony payments in addition to child support, when you inevitably get divorced.

It is entirely possible that she is lying about being pregnant. An ex-girlfriend tried that with me. Even pretended that she had an abortion to show how much she wanted me back. She was psycho.

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Edit: Dan D is smoking something pretty strong to think that child support is dependent on marriage.

Answer 6

I say, don't marry her, because that will lead nowhere but misery, but be a support to the child. Get legal help so that your support money actually goes to the child, not to partying etc. Don't let the baby suffer for its' parents poor choices. BTW if you have a child with her, she's going to be in your life, in some way, forever, no matter what you do. Unless you are a very cold hearted man and desert them.

Answer 7

Women, can't live with 'em.

Sounds like she trapped you bud. Other than run there is not much you can do but get ready to pay through the nose for the next 18 years-21 years depending on your state.

Whatever you do don't marry her or live with her. Stop seeing her see a lawyer and try to get the best deal you can in court.

Luck

Answer 8

u should not sleep with someone that was not good enough in your eyes to marry. the joke was on u, u should have used protection, and not been so gullible. get a paternity test first before u begin child support payments. when u play u gotta pay i guess, if the baby is yours. she set u up, and now if the baby is yours u will be paying for quite some time. she led u to believe one thing, but she had an agenda here, and looks as if she succeeded.

Answer 9

I've always thought that using children as a bargaining chip to continue a toxic relationship is poor form.

You're not in love. Don't go back to her. Instead, I'd get a lawyer and prepare for court. Eventually you may be able to give up all custody to the child if that's what you want.

Answer 10

#1. be responsible for your actions, help support the child

#2. dont marry her just cause it is the right thing to do cause you might just end up breaking up in the end and that would be more painful

#3. that's what you get for sleeping around. even though she was "broken", why would you even risk that let alone the std's from her other affairs. if you knew she slept around before, you should have been more cautious about them but count your lucky stars you didnt get one.

#4. dont let this bring you down in life. show everyone you can rise above it and not get bogged down in the "tragedy".

#5. it is not a tragedy. children are the most wonderful blessings and cherish him/her. show them how to be better and above all love them and be there for them. even though you might not be with his/her mom, they still need a dad and you will get much respect and love from them for being there for them and facing the situation.

good luck and hope all is well!