can anyone else understand where i am coming from?

Question

I am not looking for who is right, or who is wrong- just wanting to know if there is anyone else out there that hears what i am saying... I have a problem. I am madly in love with my husband. He is my only desire. I wish i could be the cool wife and be okay with everything..but i am not. When he looks at porn, i feel the pain in my heart and in my gut. My wish is that he would love me enough to not only not need porn, but not want porn. I wish that it was something he could willingly give up, just because he can see how much it hurts me. He loves me enough to have given it up, but the resentment is coming..i know it. If I could snap my fingers and be okay with it, i'd do it in a second...does anyone else understand how much it hurts to have the love of your life choose to search for videos/images of other women. I feel betrayed. I feel like something must be wrong with me.
for the record , we do have a very healthy love life-wild and fun, just like it should be. We are in love.

Answer 1

Sorry but its not as good as it could be. Not saying you need more positions or more toys. It isn't about that. The fact is you could be the two sloppiest love-makers in the world and never need another soul or image to look at. Your husban has got some ego issues. Your feeling that and it hurts. He shouldn't need to because he should understand that no matter what he finds out there he'll never feel the intensity he feels with you, with them. It isn't what you do, its how you do it and how it feels. I'm more then sure your holding up your side of that age old formula, but obviously he isn't. It could really be a lot of reasons in his head but it usually comes down to good old "Pride" for why males love to keep a look out. I would question deeply how much he loves himself thou, because thats a classic behavior of a person who really doesn't love who there with. He could have great love for you but ether he isn't excepting it or he isn't excepting that he doesn't. I'm guessing that this couldn't be the only issue you have with him. Typically if you have great emotional connection things like this don't hurt near as much, because you understand the why so much better. Chances are you know the why,(you can feel it) he just hasn't said it yet. So really your going to feel bytraied and cheated, because thats exactly whats happening. In my own long history with my sexuality it took some deep love and intense understanding of the individual I was with before I got over the fact that no matter how good looking a female maybe it doesn't have anything to do with the experience I well have with her. Nor does satisfing my animal sexuality help in anyway with my relationships. He needs to make a step in his own right in understanding how intense he can make what he has now so he doesn't have to lust for what he may never get. I say it again to, it isn't about have a wild and fun health love life. Its about how intense you treat whatever it is you do, do together. He isn't painting the experience fairly and I'm afraid the reason you feel the way you do is because deep down you know that.

Answer 2

Sounds like he has no self discipline, and doesn't care how this affects you. I wouldn't be so nice about it, and demand he quits watching it, and if he's not willing, tell him you want him to go to a SA meeting(sex addiction)