I have three boys - two of whom understand and practice generosity and one who is and has seemingly always been somewhat of a curmudgeon. If we give to poor folks at Christmas he's mad that we spent out time and money giving to them. To his mind - what did they do to deserve generosity? We have tried many different approaches to strengthening the empathy and generosity - all to little avail. Any other parents been down this road? We keep expecting the selfish phase to pass but it has not. He is an outstanding student, athlete (for his age) and enjoyes a circle of friends. But he disdains the poor or needy.
2007-03-12 09:34:15 · 4 answers · asked by HomeSweetSiliconValley 4 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
believe it or not this may be how he is forever. he needs something that will effect his heart. he has a different personality and you should check that out first. go about this in away that will spark his interest. he needs something big and he needs to see it for himself. be sure not to guard him doing this . like if there is a natural disaster don't only tell him let him meet someone it effected and maybe then he can ask how that happened to them and why they where not prepared and anything he wants. this is hard and i have been working with my nephew with this same thing. he's only 8 and he has a hard heart when it comes to anyone that isn't him. he doesn't share or talk about himself. he actually hides things and wont play with them so no one else can play with them either. and after 2 years he is just now coming around to the concept of other people need you and you could need other people some day so be nice now so you get help later. that seems kind of selfish but that's as far as we've gotten so far with him he just never bends and he's like steel with how he feels about things. i can't imagine how he will be when he's 10
2007-03-12 09:51:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I like the idea mentioned before of having him volunteer. Sure, he's young, but it's never too early to try to teach generosity and kindness. Just be careful not to teach him that if he volunteers, he, too will get something out of it. A common mistake people make is telling their children, "If you volunteer, you'll feel good about yourself". Sure, it's true, but that shouldn't be the reason one volunteers or gives to charity. One should give to charity for the sole purpose of helping others who are much less fortunate. Try to get him to understand how lucky he is. He is obviously very fortunate to have brains and an ability to excel at sports, and to have parents who care about him. He needs to understand through volunteering and possibly counseling that helping others is priceless. In this day in age, it's not easy to teach a 10 year old about generosity, but it can be done. I wish you the best of luck/
2007-03-12 16:56:18 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents are not the only ones who shape the beliefs of children. They learn a lot from their friends, teachers, relatives, the media, etc. before forming their own thoughts and opinions. Someone other than you has obviously made a very strong impression on your child but please continue to teach good values through your example and trust God to turn your son around in the right direction. Don't give up hope because I have a feeling one day you are going to be delightfully surprised by a certain young man's sudden change of heart. I wish you the best.
2007-03-12 19:58:19 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Have him volunteer at a homeless shelter for like 8 weekends in a row. Should have been teaching that since birth its going to be hard now.... good luck
2007-03-12 16:50:17 · answer #4 · answered by whatstha'bizness 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋